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<h1 data-aos="fade-down" id="daily-dose">Daily-Dose</h1>
<h1 data-aos="fade-right" data-aos-anchor-placement="top-bottom" id="contents">Contents</h1>
<ul>
<li><a href="#from-new-yorker">From New Yorker</a></li>
<li><a href="#from-vox">From Vox</a></li>
<li><a href="#from-the-hindu-sports">From The Hindu: Sports</a></li>
<li><a href="#from-the-hindu-national-news">From The Hindu: National News</a></li>
<li><a href="#from-bbc-europe">From BBC: Europe</a></li>
<li><a href="#from-ars-technica">From Ars Technica</a></li>
<li><a href="#from-jokes-subreddit">From Jokes Subreddit</a></li>
</ul>
<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-new-yorker">From New Yorker</h1>
<ul>
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Dishonor, Trumps and His Partys, Is the Real January 6th Takeaway</strong> - Liz Cheney, defying the G.O.P., offered a searing indictment of the former President at Thursdays hearing. - <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/news/letter-from-bidens-washington/dishonor-trumps-and-his-partys-is-the-real-january-6th-takeaway">link</a></p></li>
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Why San Francisco Fired Chesa Boudin</strong> - Does the district attorneys recall reveal the limitations of progressive criminal-justice reform? - <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/news/the-political-scene/why-san-francisco-fired-chesa-boudin">link</a></p></li>
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Hiding Buffalos History of Racism Behind a Cloak of Unity</strong> - Officials have described the recent shooting as an aberration in the “City of Good Neighbors.” But this conceals the citys long-standing racial divisions. - <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/news/our-columnists/hiding-buffalos-history-of-racism-behind-a-cloak-of-unity">link</a></p></li>
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>How Did Guns Get So Powerful?</strong> - Decade by decade, firearms have become deadlier—and tightened their grip on our collective imagination. - <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/tech/annals-of-technology/how-did-guns-get-so-powerful">link</a></p></li>
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>The Maestro of Madison Square Garden</strong> - From a perch atop the arena, Ray Castoldi, the organist for the Rangers, improvises the soundtrack for playoff-hockey agony and ecstasy. - <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/sports/sporting-scene/the-maestro-of-madison-square-garden">link</a></p></li>
</ul>
<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-vox">From Vox</h1>
<ul>
<li><strong>The best $2,618 I ever spent: A second wedding ceremony</strong> -
<figure>
<img alt="An illustration of a wedding invitation atop its envelope." src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/yjDB5rYLQzomQpo9kiVGnFM4PNs=/500x0:3500x2250/1310x983/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/70968250/Wedding.0.jpg"/>
<figcaption>
I was fiercely independent, and didnt have faith I could care for anyone else. But Antoinette always believed in me. | Dana Rodriguez for Vox
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
Six months after I nearly destroyed our first $26,112 day.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="8n5biw">
Four days after we walked down the aisle for the first time, my wife Antoinette and I cruised off on our honeymoon to Cozumel, Mexico. On our second night, we found ourselves sitting in a theater full of our fellow passengers as contestants on a knockoff version of the 60s game show, <em>The Newlywed Game</em>.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="meNBrA">
The first question was easy — “Where was your first date?”— but they devolved quickly: Which in-law would you least like to be stuck on a deserted island with? Which movie best describes your love life? What is your husbands most annoying habit?
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="KHcCuG">
We got every question correct, and every answer was filled with resentment. Our first date was a 1930s diner outing at Quintessence, a Cap City landmark. We both deemed our love life to be akin to <em>Pee-wees Big Adventure</em>, and my wife offered three things she despised about me: how I wiped my nose with my finger, my nail munching, and how I was overall a neurotic nebbish.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="iPELiL">
We were suffering from the fallout of the past year: everything leading to what would be our first wedding ceremony. I didnt deal well with change, and a wedding changes everything. It changes your family structure, changes how to organize finances. I was fiercely independent, and I didnt have faith I could care for anyone else. But Antoinette always believed in me, and, somehow, every time I struggled with moving forward in our relationship, and every time I struggled with moving forward in life, Antoinette pushed me, and together we got through.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="JddSpp">
“Fill in the blank,” the Drew Carey-looking cruise director said to me. “The ugliest thing about my wife is ____.”
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="CxSwsI">
“Her tones,” I said, straight-faced. The host froze up, devoid of one-liners. We won, obviously.
</p>
<hr class="p-entry-hr" id="NcatkG"/>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="wFKEWk">
Antoinette and I met in April 2009, after the lead organizer of the mentoring program I volunteered for asked me to pick up the new mentor, a Brooklynite studying Africana studies and communications at SUNY Albany, speeding toward her bachelors in three years.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="co758N">
We cruised through the city in my blue Saturn as I fumbled over icebreakers: Wherere you from? Whatre you studying?
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="w2Oe8c">
Luckily for me, Antoinette was more skilled at the conversation thing. She dug through my CDs, pointing out that she also loved Maxwell and Amy Winehouse.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="onBwD4">
From then on, every week we drove around discussing race and religion and swapping book recommendations. I learned that, right before we met, Antoinette had left her ex-fiancé. To mark a new beginning, she pierced her nose and went in for the big chop, cutting off any chemically treated hair, and rocked an afro puff. I adored her positive energy, so when she mentioned she wanted to get her drivers license, I volunteered my car for practice.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="LyEaOM">
We spent afternoons circling parking lots and gently bumping cars while parallel parking. When she scored her license, I came up with more excuses to hang out. After six months of being friends, she dropped the bomb, asking me via text: “Do you like me?” My hands shaking, I typed “yes.”
</p>
<div class="c-float-right">
<aside id="Yliraw">
<q>I knew a life with Antoinette was what was best for me. I just feared it wasnt best for her.</q>
</aside>
</div>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="2sFfrY">
Soon, I introduced her to my small, close-knit Ashkenazi Jewish family, and she welcomed me into her large but distant Nigerian and Jamaican crew. I loved how close she was to her mom, how she planned to have an intergenerational household. She appreciated how I was best friends/nearly twins with my little sister, how my big sister and her husband set my #couplegoals. Together we cooked salt fish latkes.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="g2QAKz">
When Antoinette and I met, I was 28 and three years sober. I had spent most of my early 20s dropping in and out of college, spending time behind the locked double doors of St. Peters Hospital detox unit, failing out of their rehab. In the first few years of my sobriety, I spent my days chilling on the stoop outside 12-step meetings on the corner of Lexington, working an entry-level respite position at a local social work agency.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="sTdnu1">
I liked my life in early recovery. I liked the room I rented in a two-bedroom on Morris St. Liked making meetings whenever I wanted. Liked volunteering to make myself feel good. My life felt safe. But four years after we started dating, Antoinette was tired of my inertia. She wanted marriage, a house, and a family (with seven kids, she used to joke).
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="RoVk8i">
As terrified of change as I was, I feared losing her more. I stalled for another year, but I finally popped the question over a bucket of seafood in a booth at our favorite Times Square eatery, Bubba Gumps.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="M8EUKv">
Then I talked her into delaying the ceremony another year.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="BfM8cH">
I knew I loved and adored her, but I didnt have faith in myself. I had never envisioned a future for me that involved anything more than hitting up meetings and remaining stagnant at the same social work agency. Starting a family felt unfathomable. During my hazy years, I stopped attempting to get sober because I figured I would just relapse. Once sober, I wouldnt push myself to take any additional risks — whether it be a better job or a marriage — expecting that Id mess everything up. Proposing was terrifying, but, beneath my distress, I knew a life with Antoinette was what was best for me. I just feared it wasnt best for her.
</p>
<hr class="p-entry-hr" id="smmRIx"/>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="GKnyH7">
I remember reading a study that said <a href="https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/10/the-divorce-proof-marriage/381401/">the more you spend on your wedding, the more likely it will end in divorce</a>. Every time Antoinette brought up ideas for venues, my mind spiraled. Neither of us made tons of money and neither was great at saving. To me, spending excessively on a wedding made no sense, but to Antoinette, money could always be made and was to be enjoyed. The tradition meant a lot to her so she wanted the perfect wedding ceremony, but, in truth, it probably meant more to me. A wedding made things absolute. I would either succeed at being a good partner forever or destroy her life. The more we spent, the more I felt the pressure mounting. Still, I pushed myself to brave forward with whatever Antoinette wished for.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="yxkmeI">
To afford the wedding, I focused on our day-to-day bills — rent, car insurance, internet, groceries — while Antoinette saved for the ceremony. We quickly put a deposit down on the fourth floor of the New York State Museum, claiming Antoinettes dream location. The setting included a sick view of the Empire State Plaza and Capitol building. It was the perfect Albany landmark for a romance that bloomed across its streets.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="Ezhn0D">
The wedding was scheduled for a Sunday because we kinda-sorta kept Shabbat, and I used the odd day as leverage to haggle down prices. We locked in Mallozzis, one of the capitals ritziest caterers, as well as DJ Trumastr, Albanys hottest DJ, who prepped a setlist consisting of Paul Simon, Lynxxx, and Beres Hammond, representing our diverse backgrounds. The affair came out to $26,112.86.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="YBGAQ0">
To be clear, we didnt pay it all ourselves. Her dad handled the photographer and the balance for the venue, and her mom took care of the honeymoon and wedding dress, and she financed transportation for nearly her entire extended family (after the wedding, my parents gifted us a $10,000 check, to start our life together — that promptly went toward debt). The more our family invested in our stock, the more I panicked it would all go belly up.
</p>
<hr class="p-entry-hr" id="wMN0kw"/>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="sTfV8L">
Four months before our scheduled wedding date, my fears of failure turned catastrophic as my family fell into disarray.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="fupPLI">
Just weeks before my youngest sisters wedding — which I already struggled with because it felt like our relationship was changing — my brother-in-law walked out on my older sister. He had been my role model, my biggest male influence. He gave me my first beer, taught me all his comedy routines. I told myself that if my big sisters marriage went sour, my relationship with Antoinette would, too.
</p>
<div>
<aside id="CnnTQr">
<q>We posed for pictures, smiling before the carousel, but the emotions were staged</q>
</aside>
</div>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="HhU8mK">
I was unable to send the wedding invites. Every time I postponed, Antoinette grew more frustrated, to the point where we were sleeping in separate rooms. I broke up with her, three times, assuring myself shed be better off without me, but she continued to talk me into staying. Two months before the ceremony, I dropped the invites into the mailbox, but the stabbing thoughts intensified. I had dreams of her happy with someone else, starting a family with a guy who wasnt as mentally ill as I was. I had nightmares of us getting married, having kids, then me turning into my brother-in-law, leaving the family I loved to suffer the repercussions. A week before the ceremony, I broke up with her for the final time, promising myself I wouldnt budge.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="1W6PyI">
Tears dampening her face, Antoinette smooshed her cheek into mine and whispered, “Just be with me for one day. Not all the future. Just a day.”
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="erZiDv">
At that moment, I decided to stay. To give it my best shot, just for that day. I tried to tell myself that I wasnt my family, that I wasnt the person I used to be. I decided I didnt like myself at that moment, but I wanted to get better. I wanted to be the best person I could be, and the best person I could be was beside Antoinette, supporting her and celebrating her and growing with her.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="gsOT3g">
The day of the wedding, Antoinette half-expected I wouldnt show. Even though we did the I-dos, she despised me for what I put her through, and I was frustrated with her for not having empathy during my crash. We threw the greatest party most of our guests had ever been to — impressing even my Nigerian ambassador father-in-law — but every kiss was strained. We posed for pictures, smiling before the carousel, but the emotions were staged. When we cruised off on our <em>Newlywed Game</em>-knockoff honeymoon, we were barely speaking.
</p>
<hr class="p-entry-hr" id="SvEYur"/>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="qcxTk2">
In the months that followed, we dedicated ourselves to couples therapy, determined to make our relationship work. We both realized that we struggled with communicating: Antoinette often shut down, while I turned overly emotional. We had to learn new ways to speak to each other. We focused on each others strengths, recognizing that we each brought something special to the table that the other lacked. I took responsibility for spiraling out of control, nearly ruining our wedding, and she worked to be empathetic to my anxiety. I realized how desperately I wanted her to attain her every dream and how blessed I was that she chose me to be her partner in achieving them; she believed in me, and I began to believe in me, too.
</p>
<div class="c-float-right">
<aside id="ZY4XEG">
<q>We werent trying to show off — we just wanted to feed friends and family yummy food and spin in circles of joy</q>
</aside>
</div>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="LRNCSY">
For over a year, Antoinette had been meeting with our rabbi, taking classes, attending shul, moving toward converting to Judaism. We had always planned to have a second, intimate religious wedding after she formally converted. And so six months after the first wedding, my wife dunked herself into the mikvah, a ritual bath, completing the process, and we held a small ceremony in our Albany temple, costing $2,618: enough to rent the social hall, hire a klezmer band, contract a videographer, borrow a chuppah, and buy a crap ton of lox, bagels, and kugel.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="sQ38DW">
The first wedding, we were trying to impress people, but this second wedding, we werent trying to show off — we just wanted to feed friends and family yummy food and spin in circles of joy. We didnt even send invites. Instead, we handed out flyers and plastered them online, keeping the ceremony open to anyone who wanted to join.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="zZyVXa">
I took pride in planning and paying for the second ceremony myself. Though the event was much cheaper, I didnt settle for anything. The food was on point. So were our outfits. It felt like victory that every dollar spent was my own — I was investing in our future.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="S118m3">
Under the chuppah, I crunched the glass and we jumped the broom. When we leaped, we did it together. The community lifted us aloft in chairs, and, as we floated above the crowd, each grasping the napkin connecting us, I realized I could do it. I could handle lifes changes. I could grow. My wife had been with me when I was at my lowest. I knew Id do the same for her. Wed survived one of our toughest hurdles, and I had faith we could get through more. I was ready. Ready to create a home, ready to start a family, with faith, with Antoinette.
</p></li>
<li><strong>“Were expected to be human shields”: Teachers are unprotected — and scared</strong> -
<figure>
<img alt="Teachers For Gun Legislation March Towards Senator Cruzs Office" src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/TgM8zb2gZTI8CGzsGcVa2VVgCF8=/222x0:3779x2668/1310x983/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/70968212/1241021922.0.jpg"/>
<figcaption>
After a mass shooting at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas, teachers for gun control legislation marched to Sen. Ted Cruzs office. | Getty Images
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
After another school shooting, teachers express fear over the threat of violence in their classrooms.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="E8xVn9">
The day after the mass shooting at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas, Elizabeth, a first grade teacher at a school across the state, looked down at the sidewalk to read what one of her students had scribbled in chalk at the entrance to their school: “If you have a gun, get out pleas.” The childs message, innocent with its spelling error, was decorated with the drawing of a little white heart.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="PpG9VB">
That day, Elizabeth<strong> </strong>started locking both doors in her classroom. She told her students not to congregate in the hallway, to stop coming in and out of the room all day long, and “if you have to go to the bathroom, go quick and be back ASAP.”
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="7UvrxU">
“I dont care how inconvenient it is,” she said. “If that fourth grade classrooms door had been locked, the shooter would not have been able to get inside. I have to remember that.”
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="Ix2mk3">
Elizabeth, who asked to be referred to by her middle name because “its a highly politicized issue … especially in Texas, and I dont want to put myself at risk,” did all this because she felt ultimately responsible for her students safety. “This is by no means normal and anything I want to be doing with my students, but I felt it was the reality of that day, and I did what felt the safest,” she said.
</p>
<figure class="e-image">
<img alt=" " src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/P0TKKc-PcYv3t0t8UZp_oYEwDJ8=/800x0/filters:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/23617180/first_grade_art.jpg"/>
<figcaption>
After a mass shooting at an elementary school in Uvalde, Texas, in May, one first grader wrote a message outside of her school: “If you have a gun, get out pleas.”
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="PPJHWB">
Previous mass shootings, like the 2012 one at Sandy Hook Elementary in Newtown, Connecticut, that claimed 27 lives, havent pushed lawmakers to prevent future ones.<strong> </strong>The country remains awash with guns, and few new burdens have been placed on would-be gun owners to stop future massacres. Instead, the burden of keeping students safe has fallen on schools — and ultimately on teachers.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="lxyehF">
In lockdown drills, teachers are expected to train their students to hide, and, in some cases, to fight. Proposals from arming teachers to “hardening schools” underscore the message that keeping schools safe is ultimately the responsibility of schools themselves, and of the adults in them.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="cdu6UV">
“So many of our teachers come to the profession because they love working with children. They love what they do, so theyre already always thinking about how they can help their children. Theres less of a focus on the emotional and traumatic experiences theyre having,” Prerna Arora, a school psychologist and assistant professor of school psychology at Columbias Teachers College, told Vox. “We have to consider how trauma impacts a teacher and their ability to be present and be there for their students.”
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="9dz56K">
And if the worst should happen, teachers are often the last line of defense. While police dithered outside, two teachers in Uvalde died while shielding their students from gunfire. Since their deaths, the two teachers, Eva Mireles and Irma Garcia, have been called <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHR4yG5YEMo">heroes</a> — a label that does not capture the complexity of what teachers are expected to do and be every day. Theyre expected to be counselors, nurses, human shields, and more.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="TEaRkw">
Arnulfo Reyes, a teacher who survived the shooting at Robb Elementary, explained how he went from preparing for a student award ceremony that morning to being shot twice by the gunman and witnessing all 11 of the students in his classroom die. “I tried my best with what I was told to do,” he said in an <a href="https://abcnews.go.com/GMA/News/cowards-teacher-survived-uvalde-shooting-slams-police-response/story?id=85219697&amp;cid=social_fb_2020&amp;fbclid=IwAR3E5kIRdB_DJlyxYZaQD7_5rmPukaSStklzZdN_-fFXMdC_rUQ38qwdzVw">interview</a>. “It all happened too fast. Training, no training, all kinds of training, nothing gets you ready for this.”
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="oZMwHw">
“We have to consider what happens to teachers when part of their job is the expectation that they might have to hug their children under a desk during a mass shooting,” said Arora. “Its a horrifying visual, the idea of having to shield your students to protect them from gunshots after watching the movie <em>Moana</em>,” Arora said. “This is the only job in the country where someone is basically expected to do this when its not part of their job description or what theyre trained for.”
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="OviCUF">
In the days since the shooting, <a href="https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2022/05/fox-news-militarizing-schools-gun-control">commentators</a> and <a href="https://www.texastribune.org/2022/05/28/uvalde-shooting-school-doors/">Texas lawmakers</a> have offered countless thoughts on school shootings, none of which involve gun safety reform. Texass Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick and Sen. Ted Cruz suggested that officials “harden schools,” leaving one entrance in and one entrance out. Others <a href="https://twitter.com/abughazalehkat/status/1529573713976377348">have suggested</a> arming teachers, or training students to fight shooters, or making body armor available at schools for students and educators. Other ideas call for a more imposing physical landscape: taller fencing, tripwires, metal detectors.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="uMZkhX">
Many of the ideas, like positioning “<a href="https://www.vox.com/2022/5/25/23140519/uvalde-school-shooting-nra-texas-good-guy-gun">good guys with guns</a>” or <a href="https://www.vox.com/2022/5/29/23145515/pro-gun-lawmakers-arm-teachers-violence">arming teachers</a>, have not worked in the past. But they underscore that lawmakers are likely to put the responsibility of keeping schools safe back onto schools and teachers.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="ivfbTI">
“As a former volunteer firefighter, I can tell you that many of these ideas to lock down schools create huge safety concerns,” Josh, a science teacher in Houston who asked that only his first name be used for fear of retaliation, told Vox. “They also dont address the root causes of shootings, which is access to guns and mental health. We dont have enough counselors in our school and there just isnt enough money to actually invest in mental health services.”
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="rmW0O6">
He added: “We teachers have come under attack for many things this year. They dont trust us to put out the appropriate books for our students but they trust us to carry guns in schools?”
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="czyGGP">
Rachel Graves Hicks, a high school career and technical education teacher in a large suburban school district near Fort Worth, Texas, has already spent time that could have been spent teaching on preparing for shootings. She routinely practices safety drills with her high schoolers. She tells them to place big items of furniture at the door, get out of sight, and be as quiet as possible. And should the shooter breach the door, she instructs her students to hurl items at them.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="IUCPSi">
The burden could someday become too much. “The day my district determines that teachers are allowed to carry guns at school, I will no longer work in the classroom. Full stop. I am out,” she said. “We tell them to throw monitors and chairs, anything that could stop the shooter,” she said. “How is this not enough?”
</p></li>
<li><strong>The power and limits of using executive orders to protect abortion rights</strong> -
<figure>
<img alt="Abortion rights activists protest outside Justice Brett Kavanaughs home following SCOTUS opinion leak" src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/Nl15FVB6-D6j8UyiQHuRIOiCHRY=/0x0:3804x2853/1310x983/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/70967063/1241188561.0.jpg"/>
<figcaption>
Activists who feel helpless to codify abortion rights could find hope in Bidens executive orders. | Nathan Howard/Getty Images
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
President Biden is mulling over what he can do in response to a looming Supreme Court ruling overturning <em>Roe v. Wade</em>.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="BXY4XR">
As a decision looms in <a href="https://www.scotusblog.com/case-files/cases/dobbs-v-jackson-womens-health-organization/"><em>Dobbs v. Jackson Womens Health Organization</em></a>, the landmark Supreme Court case that would effectively eliminate the constitutionally-protected right to a legal abortion, pressure on President Joe Biden to take action protecting that right is mounting — so much so that Biden directly addressed it on late-night TV this week, telling Jimmy Kimmel that, while he urged legislative action, the White House is also mulling executive orders protecting abortion access.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="9lvTMn">
Post-<em>Dobbs</em> executive orders were on the table before Bidens Wednesday appearance, although the White House has kept quiet about what those actions could look like. His interview with Kimmel was no different; after encouraging a legislative approach to enacting abortion rights protections, Biden told Kimmel, “I think what were going to have to do… Theres some executive orders I could employ, we believe — were looking at that right now.”
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="eLeVtj">
On Tuesday, before Bidens late-night appearance, Democratic senators including Chris van Hollen of Maryland and Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts <a href="https://www.vanhollen.senate.gov/imo/media/doc/2022.06.07%20Letter%20to%20POTUS%20on%20Abortion%20EO.pdf">sent a letter</a> to Biden urging the administration to issue an order to develop a national, whole-of-government plan to protect the right to abortion, citing the administrations previous willingness to take action on securing voting rights, combatting racism, and strengthening economic competition.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="2iLvU5">
“Now is the time for equally bold action to protect the right to an abortion,” the letter reads, asserting that, “the dramatic escalation of attacks on abortion access — spearheaded by right-wing justices, lawmakers, and activists — demands comprehensive and creative strategies from every corner of the federal government.” The letter urges Biden to issue an executive order requiring the heads of federal agencies to submit their plans to protect abortion rights within 30 days of the order, concluding that the issue — and the millions who would be affected should the Supreme Court rule that Mississippi can indeed ban pre-viability abortions — require “no less than a whole-of-government response.”
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="olbopV">
However, the administration has signaled that any action will come after the court announces its decision — not pre-emptively. “We dont have a final conclusion,” former White House Press Secretary Jen Psaki said at a briefing in May, after a draft decision authored by conservative Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito declaring the Mississippi restriction constitutional was leaked to <a href="https://www.politico.com/news/2022/05/02/read-justice-alito-initial-abortion-opinion-overturn-roe-v-wade-pdf-00029504">Politico</a>. “The Supreme Court themselves made clear this is not the final opinion. We are already working a great deal behind the scenes, and we will have more to say,” <a href="https://thehill.com/news/administration/3479097-democrats-worry-they-lack-a-plan-to-fight-back-on-roe-v-wade/">Psaki said at the time</a>.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="1nb2w6">
While the administration <a href="https://thehill.com/news/administration/3517080-biden-says-he-is-weighing-executive-orders-on-abortion-rights/">reportedly ramped up</a> its planning after the draft memo leaked, holding meetings with providers, activists, and state lawmakers, Democrats and abortion rights activists have been frustrated with the perceived lack of preparation for what many consider the inevitable dissolution of <em>Roe v. Wade </em>after decades of conservative activism to defeat it.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="EiIDHy">
“Why are we so behind the curve on this? Where is the plan? We knew this was coming in theory since [Justice Amy] Coney Barrett joined the court, and in practice since December,” Democratic strategist Christy Setzer <a href="https://thehill.com/news/administration/3479097-democrats-worry-they-lack-a-plan-to-fight-back-on-roe-v-wade/">told The Hill</a> in May. “I dont want to hear empty rhetoric about how we wont go back, I want to hear that there is a legislative or federal plan to change things.”
</p>
<h3 id="INijyJ">
What exactly could executive orders do for abortion rights?
</h3>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="TIsuLQ">
At the heart of <a href="https://www.supremecourt.gov/DocketPDF/19/19-1392/145658/20200615170733513_FINAL%20Petition.pdf">the <em>Dobbs </em>case</a> are three questions: Whether its unconstitutional for a state to enact any pre-viability bans on abortion; under what statute any such prohibition should be interpreted; and whether abortion providers have the legal standing to challenge a states abortion laws on behalf of their patients.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="KOJRG2">
Any executive action the administration decides on will be fairly limited; once states have the authority to regulate pre-viability abortion regardless of the undue burdens the laws would place on people trying to obtain them, <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2022/05/04/us/abortion-trigger-laws.html">many will legislate it</a> <a href="https://reproductiverights.org/maps/what-if-roe-fell/">practically out of existence</a>. If its decided that abortion clinics dont have legal standing to challenge laws those states enact, its unlikely theyll be challenged at all, since such cases require significant resources that individual abortion patients likely dont have.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="v4Px74">
Any executive orders wouldnt challenge the ruling directly, but rather enhance access to resources for people seeking an abortion. “As far as specific actions, theres any number of areas of concern they could seek to address,” Setzer told Vox via email, such as “working to increase access for low-income women and women of color even in blue states like New York and Connecticut; protecting patient privacy (for patients and medical workers) where abortion will be criminalized; increasing access to contraception under Obamacare in states where its limited; working to lessen barriers to getting the abortion pill.”
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="44LgIp">
In their June 7 letter, Democratic legislators highlighted some actions Biden could take, like enabling greater access to medication abortion, a method of abortion thats effective very early on in a pregnancy. The medications <a href="https://www.fda.gov/drugs/postmarket-drug-safety-information-patients-and-providers/mifeprex-mifepristone-information">mifepristone and misoprostol</a>, which, taken together, safely and effectively end early pregnancies have been available by mail <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2021/12/16/health/abortion-pills-fda.html">since the FDA reversed a regulation</a> prohibiting the postal delivery last December. However, a number of states with conservative legislatures swiftly took action to ban or restrict access to them following that decision.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="im4Bcg">
The Democrats letter also suggests providing resources like childcare and travel vouchers to people who must travel outside their home state to seek abortion care. That measure would address what is already a barrier for low-income people seeking an abortion: the sheer cost of it all, in addition to the price of the procedure itself. Childcare, travel expenses, and lost wages from missing work are all costs that low-income people seeking abortions in states with limited access have faced for years, <a href="https://theintercept.com/2019/01/18/abortion-roe-v-wade-reproductive-rights/">as The Intercept reported in 2019.</a>
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="87ME73">
The letter suggests a few interventions from the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS), including creating a reproductive health ombudsman position which “could educate the public and analyze data collected by HHS about access to reproductive services.” That could include collecting and analyzing data about insurance coverage for contraception, as well as provide information about access to abortion services and funding. The legislators also suggest HHS work to expand the pool of reproductive health providers available to Medicaid patients by “more aggressively enforcing federal requirements” that give beneficiaries their choice of provider.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="RoHlpe">
HHSs Office of Civil Rights could also strengthen and clarify protection of peoples sensitive online data about their reproductive health so that data cant be used by states with draconian abortion and reproductive health laws. Data protection is crucial for both people seeking abortions and for care providers; data from a period tracking app, for example, could prevent a person from getting an abortion because it could indicate how far along their pregnancy is, and sensitive information about abortion providers could endanger their freedom or safety.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="M660No">
Finally, a mobilization of federal resources — including providing reproductive health care on federal lands in states with severe abortion restrictions — could be on the table, too. The legislators suggest in the June 7 letter that the Pentagon could consider moving members of the military and their families to obtain abortion and reproductive health care when they need it, and that the Office of Personnel Management could ensure paid time off and reimbursement of costs for the procedure for federal employees who get an abortion.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="FlnUH9">
All of these suggestions are workarounds; theyre not really a direct challenge to the issues presented in the <em>Dobbs </em>case. But, given how intent the GOP is on steamrolling the right to an abortion, and the dwindling likelihood of a Democratic majority passing legislation to protect it, such measures may just be what the administration has to work with.
</p>
<h3 id="R5m7iZ">
Legislative protections would be more secure — but theyre harder to enact
</h3>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="DvHKmq">
Biden pushed the importance of voting and legislative action during his appearance on Wednesday, claiming that if <em>Dobbs</em> is decided and trigger laws go into effect, “its going to cause a mini revolution and theyre going to vote a lot of these folks out of office.” But in general, <a href="https://pprg.stanford.edu/wp-content/uploads/2008-Turnout-Lit-Review.pdf">people dont just vote on one issue</a>, and simply relying on outrage isnt a great game plan; decades without a clear strategy and concrete ideas about how to protect abortion access has put Democrats and reproductive health care in this position in the first place.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="IGb8us">
“Part of my frustration is with, frankly, some of my own colleagues and peers. The other side for 50 years has had a legal strategy — where is our 50-year strategy?” Rep. Elisa Slotkin (D-MI) <a href="https://www.politico.com/news/2022/06/09/biden-abortion-00038565">said Thursday</a>. “As someone who comes from a CIA and Pentagon background, Im frankly furious that there wasnt more D-Day, decision day, planning.”
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="0yKzPO">
Biden, as the leader of the party, hasnt been particularly forceful in making sure abortion rights are protected, either. “In general, this is an issue where the bully pulpit really matters, and where President Biden still seems afraid to even say the word abortion,’” Setzer told Vox. “Thats the point — the first step to protecting abortion access is saying the words abortion access.’”
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="t9JwYG">
Without full-throated support for abortion at the highest levels, passing legislation to protect abortion rights is a tough hill to climb. It has failed in the past; last year, the <a href="https://www.congress.gov/bill/117th-congress/house-bill/3755/text">Womens Health Protection Act</a> passed in the <a href="https://rollcall.com/2021/09/24/house-passes-abortion-rights-legislation/">House without a single Republican vote</a>. It failed in the Senate in May, even after the leaked <em>Dobbs </em>draft, given that it had no Republican support and West Virginia Sen. Joe Manchin, a <a href="https://justfacts.votesmart.org/candidate/political-courage-test/7547/joe-manchin-iii">self-styled anti-abortion Democrat</a>, voted against it, too. Expecting fear and outrage over one single issue to change the face of state legislatures, much less the Senate, seems like wishful thinking, particularly if the president doesnt seem to proactively pursue both options to protect abortion access and alternatives to conservative rule.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="u0L2Tj">
Instead of Bidens and Democrats milquetoast response, Setzer said, Biden and Democtrats should be talking about abortion “every chance they get. Congress voted on the Womens Health Protection Act— super. Now make Republicans vote on abortion 20 more times before November. Make them go on record again and again. Use it in ads. Dont be afraid — this is a winning political issue.”
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="OzQz3W">
Without an aggressive response, the idea that the <em>Dobbs </em>decision alone could and will make a difference in the midterms isnt at all convincing. “President Bidens not wrong — overturning Roe could indeed galvanize votes for Democrats in the midterms, but only if we can believe that the White House can and will take up that fight, and its not a promising start,” Setzer said. “Im frankly not swayed by their secret plan on abortion.”
</p></li>
</ul>
<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-the-hindu-sports">From The Hindu: Sports</h1>
<ul>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Grand double for Rajini Krishnan</strong> - Pacer Yamaha boys steal the show</p></li>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Running individual 400m is not yet over for Hima, hints at doing that again in postponed Asian Games</strong> - The 22-year-old Dhing Express last ran a major 400m race during the Asian Championships in Doha in April 2019.</p></li>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Watch | School girl from Sri Lankas north breaks cricketing barriers</strong> -</p></li>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Sreeshankar sets sights on Worlds, Commonwealth Games</strong> - Long jump National record-holder looks to work on his consistency</p></li>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Another DK returns from commentary box to set the field ablaze</strong> - Dhawal Kulkarni was instrumental in Mumbais record win over Uttarakhand in the Ranji quarterfinal</p></li>
</ul>
<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-the-hindu-national-news">From The Hindu: National News</h1>
<ul>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Development of villages must to achieve goal of making India $5 trillion economy: Amit Shah</strong> - “Mahatma Gandhi had said the soul of the country is in our villages and I firmly believe that,” said Union minister Amit Shah</p></li>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>AIADMK is the main Opposition party in and outside Assembly, says Panneerselvam</strong> - TV news channel debates try to make out that AIADMK is lax in its role</p></li>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>AIADMK district secretaries to meet on June 14</strong> -</p></li>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Akhilesh shares video of cops thrashing men in lock-up, raises question over incident</strong> - “Questions must be raised on such a detention.”</p></li>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>ED's summons to Rahul baseless, says Chidambaram</strong> - Congress leaders in states will also take out marches to the agency offices in their respective States and will stage “satyagraha” on Monday.</p></li>
</ul>
<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-bbc-europe">From BBC: Europe</h1>
<ul>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Ukraine war: Chemical plant hit as fighting rages in Severodonetsk</strong> - Russian shelling causes a huge fire at the Azot plant in Severodonetsk, a Ukrainian official says.</p></li>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Russia unveils tasty McDonalds substitute</strong> - The fast food outlets are rebranded as “Tasty and thats it” after the burger giant pulled out.</p></li>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Russia hands out passports in occupied Ukraine cities</strong> - The issuing of Russian passports in occupied Kherson and Melitopol is condemned by Kyiv.</p></li>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>German ex-footballer condemns Qatar over gay rights</strong> - Oliver Bierhoff says the World Cup hosts treatment of gay people is “absolutely unacceptable”.</p></li>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Border rapist trial starts in France for 56 attacks</strong> - Dino Scala is accused of a 30-year series of rapes and sexual assaults.</p></li>
</ul>
<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-ars-technica">From Ars Technica</h1>
<ul>
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Why cant we remember being born or our first words?</strong> - What scientists know about “infantile amnesia.” - <a href="https://arstechnica.com/?p=1860244">link</a></p></li>
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>NASAs plan to get Ingenuity through the Martian winter</strong> - NASA engineers are trying to overcome colder nights and frequent dust storms. - <a href="https://arstechnica.com/?p=1860133">link</a></p></li>
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>The weekends best deals: Apple Music subscriptions, Sony headphones, and more</strong> - Dealmaster also includes Sonos speakers, lots of video games, and the Google Chromecast. - <a href="https://arstechnica.com/?p=1860239">link</a></p></li>
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Mutations thought to be harmless turn out to cause problems</strong> - Mutations in genes that dont alter proteins can still alter survival in yeast. - <a href="https://arstechnica.com/?p=1860267">link</a></p></li>
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Frost Giant Studios debut mixes Starcraft with Diablo</strong> - New studios first foray is a RTS game that focuses on fun and 90s vibes. - <a href="https://arstechnica.com/?p=1860160">link</a></p></li>
</ul>
<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-jokes-subreddit">From Jokes Subreddit</h1>
<ul>
<li><strong>Finally, a blonde joke I havent heard before…</strong> - <!-- SC_OFF -->
<div class="md">
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher of 16-year-olds.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
She notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while<br/> all the other kids are running around having fun kicking a ball.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
You ok? she says.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
Yes. he says.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
You can go and play with the other kids you know she says.
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
Its best I stay here. he says.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
Whys that sweetie? says the blonde.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
The boy looks at her incredulously and says,
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
“Because Im the Goalie!”
</p>
</div>
<!-- SC_ON -->
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"> submitted by <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/jmancoder2008"> /u/jmancoder2008 </a> <br/> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/vaa024/finally_a_blonde_joke_i_havent_heard_before/">[link]</a></span> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/vaa024/finally_a_blonde_joke_i_havent_heard_before/">[comments]</a></span></p></li>
<li><strong>A rude man walks into the bank and tells the teller: “I want to open a fucking checking account.” [NSFW]</strong> - <!-- SC_OFF -->
<div class="md">
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
A rude man walks into the bank and tells the teller: “I want to open a fucking checking account.”
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
The teller, upset, says “We dont tolerate language like that here.”
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
The man asks “Whats the fucking problem? Its not like anyone really gives a shit!”
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
The teller then leaves without a word, to go and speak to the manager about how to deal with this man. The manager, hearing the story, goes back to the man to see what the problem is.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
After asking the man, he responds with " There is no fucking problem. All I wanna do is cash my 10 million dollar check from winning the lottery and then put it in this goddamn bank!"
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
The manager responds with “Oh, and is this bitch over here giving you any problems, sir?”
</p>
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<!-- SC_ON -->
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"> submitted by <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/B-L-O-C-K-S"> /u/B-L-O-C-K-S </a> <br/> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/v9zt46/a_rude_man_walks_into_the_bank_and_tells_the/">[link]</a></span> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/v9zt46/a_rude_man_walks_into_the_bank_and_tells_the/">[comments]</a></span></p></li>
<li><strong>I won $1M in the lottery</strong> - <!-- SC_OFF -->
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
I gave a quarter of it to charity, and put the other $999,999.75 in the bank.
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<!-- SC_ON -->
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"> submitted by <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/punchCuddles"> /u/punchCuddles </a> <br/> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/va86pa/i_won_1m_in_the_lottery/">[link]</a></span> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/va86pa/i_won_1m_in_the_lottery/">[comments]</a></span></p></li>
<li><strong>My girlfriend once caught me masturbating to an optical illusion.</strong> - <!-- SC_OFF -->
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I told her “its not what it looks like”.
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"> submitted by <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/the-fire-in-flame"> /u/the-fire-in-flame </a> <br/> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/v9v3mh/my_girlfriend_once_caught_me_masturbating_to_an/">[link]</a></span> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/v9v3mh/my_girlfriend_once_caught_me_masturbating_to_an/">[comments]</a></span></p></li>
<li><strong>Ebola, covid, and monkeypox walk into a bar.</strong> - <!-- SC_OFF -->
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The bartender says, “What is this, some kinda sick joke?”
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"> submitted by <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/cantab314"> /u/cantab314 </a> <br/> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/vaasoo/ebola_covid_and_monkeypox_walk_into_a_bar/">[link]</a></span> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/vaasoo/ebola_covid_and_monkeypox_walk_into_a_bar/">[comments]</a></span></p></li>
</ul>
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