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<title>05 December, 2023</title>
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<title>Daily-Dose</title><meta content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0" name="viewport"/><link href="styles/simple.css" rel="stylesheet"/><link href="../styles/simple.css" rel="stylesheet"/><style>*{overflow-x:hidden;}</style><link href="https://unpkg.com/aos@2.3.1/dist/aos.css" rel="stylesheet"/><script src="https://unpkg.com/aos@2.3.1/dist/aos.js"></script></head>
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<h1 data-aos="fade-down" id="daily-dose">Daily-Dose</h1>
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<h1 data-aos="fade-right" data-aos-anchor-placement="top-bottom" id="contents">Contents</h1>
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<ul>
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<li><a href="#from-new-yorker">From New Yorker</a></li>
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<li><a href="#from-vox">From Vox</a></li>
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<li><a href="#from-the-hindu-sports">From The Hindu: Sports</a></li>
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<li><a href="#from-the-hindu-national-news">From The Hindu: National News</a></li>
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<li><a href="#from-bbc-europe">From BBC: Europe</a></li>
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<li><a href="#from-ars-technica">From Ars Technica</a></li>
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<li><a href="#from-jokes-subreddit">From Jokes Subreddit</a></li>
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</ul>
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<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-new-yorker">From New Yorker</h1>
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<ul>
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<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>The Difference That Sandra Day O’Connor Made</strong> - The late Supreme Court Justice had a keen feeling for the real-world impact of the Court’s decisions. - <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/news/postscript/the-difference-that-sandra-day-oconnor-made">link</a></p></li>
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<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Columbia Suspended Pro-Palestine Student Groups. The Faculty Revolted</strong> - Like other universities, the school has cracked down on activism among students, citing fears of antisemitism. Some professors think it’s gone too far. - <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/news/our-local-correspondents/columbia-suspended-pro-palestine-student-groups-the-faculty-revolted">link</a></p></li>
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<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Why Washington Couldn’t Quit Kissinger</strong> - Despite his controversial record, the former Secretary of State never fell out of the good graces of the D.C. establishment. - <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/news/q-and-a/why-washington-couldnt-quit-kissinger">link</a></p></li>
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<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Donald Trump’s Latino Campaign Begins</strong> - Democrats fear that Univision has turned to the right, but the network may be the least of their problems. - <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/news/daily-comment/donald-trumps-latino-campaign-begins">link</a></p></li>
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<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Dolly Parton “Busted a Gut” Reaching for the High Notes on “Rockstar”</strong> - The country legend finds freedom in her first venture into rock. Plus, Jill Lepore, Jelani Cobb, and Evan Osnos on how American democracy got so precarious. - <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/podcast/the-new-yorker-radio-hour/dolly-parton-busted-a-gut-reaching-for-the-high-notes-on-rockstar">link</a></p></li>
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</ul>
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<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-vox">From Vox</h1>
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<ul>
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<li><strong>Russia’s absurd claim that the LGBTQ community is extremist, explained</strong> -
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<figure>
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<img alt="A group holds a large rainbow banner." src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/XmeafBIThDSsw6nePLUhIVwlcnE=/278x0:4722x3333/1310x983/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/72932294/831141084.0.jpg"/>
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<figcaption>
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Participants hold a rainbow flag during a gay pride demonstration in St. Petersburg in 2017. | Igor Russak/SOPA Images/LightRocket via Getty Images
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</figcaption>
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</figure>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
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It’s part of Putin’s strategy to paint himself as Russia’s protector against Western immorality.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="UBZ6bQ">
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Life in Russia became even more restricted for queer people last week, after a decade of increasing repression against the LGBTQ community there.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="d44dYd">
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On November 30, Russia’s Supreme Court labeled the international LGBTQ movement an “extremist organization,” claiming that it incites “social and religious hatred.”
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="Q6GQ8N">
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The new ruling is alarming in its own right, in that it could subject LGBTQ people and activist groups in Russia to legal penalties for openly supporting queer and trans rights. But it is also connected to Russian President Vladimir Putin’s greater ideological project. As part of that project, Putin has worked during his presidency, and over the last decade in particular, to <a href="https://www.vox.com/2022/1/30/22908600/ukraine-crisis-putin-russia-one-people-myth-nato-europe">create a narrative</a> of “<a href="https://www.hrw.org/news/2023/05/17/russia-homophobia-and-battle-traditional-values">traditionalist</a>” Russian history and culture that has led to the ongoing war in Ukraine and the exclusion of minorities like LGBTQ people, among other things.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="FKLnwJ">
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The Russian Ministry of Justice brought the case to the Supreme Court on November 17, <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2023/11/30/world/europe/russia-gay-rights-law.html">according to the New York Times</a>, where it was ruled on in a secret, four-hour session. No opposing arguments were permitted in the case, <a href="https://meduza.io/en/news/2023/11/30/russian-justice-ministry-bans-lgbt-movement-as-extremist-organization">Russian media reported</a>.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="tY7Bfc">
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The new designation means, according to the <a href="https://www.sova-center.ru/about-us/">SOVA Center for Information and Analysis</a>, a Russian civil rights organization, that organizers and members of LGBTQ organizations could face prison sentences of up to 10 or six years, respectively, and that displaying <a href="https://www.hrw.org/news/2023/11/30/russia-supreme-court-bans-lgbt-movement-extremist">symbols of the movement</a>, like a rainbow flag, in public could result in a sentence of up to four years. Even “<a href="https://www.sova-center.ru/misuse/news/persecution/2023/11/d49011/">approving statements</a>” about the LGBTQ movement could potentially result in punishment.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="WPnUH3">
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Anti-LGBTQ extremism in the Russian government is nothing new, and over the past decade-plus, repression against LGBTQ people and organizations <a href="https://cepa.org/article/russia-a-state-of-homophobia/">has gotten increasingly more extreme</a>. “This is a continuation of a long-established effort that’s been going on for a decade, at least, and that actually already builds upon a whole anti-LGBTQ+ institution in Russia,” said Alexander Kondakov, a Russian sociologist at University College Dublin who studies how the legal and security systems affect LGBTQ life. “It’s not just an instance of state homophobia, but it’s a wholesale institution.”
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="7Z6dR2">
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Though the new designation is absurd and shocking, it’s years in the making — and it’s part of Putin’s broader strategy to justify his place as Russia’s protector against “Western values,” particularly as Russia’s invasion of Ukraine reaches the two-year mark and he tries to secure yet another presidential term.
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</p>
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<h3 id="XsqwiG">
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Putin’s regime erodes civil society and human rights to protect “traditional values”
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</h3>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="gukK3m">
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Thursday’s legal decision represents the intersection of three different but intertwined social and legal trends under Putin: the illegalization of “extremism,” the oppression of LGBTQ Russians dating back a decade, and Putin’s efforts to create an alternative Russian cultural and historical narrative to justify his repressive rule and imperialist aspirations.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="0X1avu">
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“[Anti-LGBTQ] Russian legislation specifically highlights patriotism, strong family, and religiosity (Orthodoxy in particular) as important ‘traditional values’ helping to protect and strengthen the nation,” Radzhana Buyantueva, a researcher studying LGBTQ communities in Russia and their intersection with the political sphere, explained to Vox over email. “In the 1990s-2000s, Russia experienced a range of issues such as economic and demographic crises and the loss of its impactful role on the international stage, causing the perceived ‘emasculation’ of the population. The Kremlin has utilized these insecurities in its anti-gender queerphobic propaganda,” cracking down on LGBTQ groups and other perceived opponents while also militarizing society and “culminating in the escalating military aggression toward neighboring states (Georgia in 2008 and Ukraine since 2014).”
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="vszSD1">
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The roots of this trend date back early into Putin’s tenure: In 2002, the Russian government adopted the <a href="https://www.europarl.europa.eu/meetdocs/2009_2014/documents/droi/dv/201/201011/20101129_3_10sova_en.pdf">Federal Law on Combating Extremist Activity</a> in the wake of Russia’s wars in Chechnya and the global “war on terror.” Part of its definition of extremism is the “kindling of social, racial, ethnic, or religious discord,” as the court now claims the international LGBTQ movement does. It was initially used against Muslim groups in the North Caucasus that represented a threat to the Kremlin and its control over Russia, as well as “skinhead organizations, different kinds of neo-Nazis, Russian nationalists — different violent organizations that had discrimination of various ethnic or racial communities at the core of their ideology,” Kondakov said. “But then it shifted toward us against any enemies of the current government.”
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="ZMlTU4">
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The law allows for the persecution of “non-traditional” religious groups, like the Jehovah’s Witnesses, as well as media outlets and, increasingly, civil society organizations that the Russian state deems extremist, as analyst Maria Kravchenko <a href="https://www.govinfo.gov/content/pkg/GOVPUB-Y3_R27-PURL-gpo142261/pdf/GOVPUB-Y3_R27-PURL-gpo142261.pdf">wrote in a 2018 report</a> for the US Commission on International Religious Freedom.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="KfjfFd">
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As Putin consolidated power over the next decade, the anti-extremism law came to be broadly applied to groups or individuals that posed a threat to his power — chiefly, in the words of SOVA, “<a href="https://www.europarl.europa.eu/meetdocs/2009_2014/documents/droi/dv/201/201011/20101129_3_10sova_en.pdf">organizations (whether registered or not) and mass media.</a>” That became clear especially during the so-called “<a href="https://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/snow-revolution#entry-more">Snow Revolution</a>” of 2011 through 2013, which initially began as <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/07/world/europe/at-moscow-rally-arrests-and-violence.html">protests against Putin’s return to the presidency </a>and <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/11/world/europe/thousands-protest-in-moscow-russia-in-defiance-of-putin.html">parliamentary election results</a> that journalists, civil society organizations, and opposition figures including Alexey Navalny decried as fraudulent.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="qmz7Qb">
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Following those protests — the largest in Russia since the 1990s — and Putin’s return to power in 2012, the government in 2013 passed a law banning LGBTQ “propaganda,” unrelated to the extremism law. It was, essentially, an apolitical distraction and a nod to the socially conservative sectors that had helped elect him.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="eZK00T">
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Similar to the American right, the Russian political class had begun looking for wedge issues to consolidate their base, Sam Greene, director for democratic resilience at the Center for European Policy Analysis, told Vox in an interview.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="rMjJMp">
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“They kind of just [started] throwing stuff at the wall to see what sticks,” he said. And while Russia’s laws surrounding LGBTQ rights were quite liberal and had been since the 1990s, the policy came before the widespread cultural understanding of LGBTQ life and queer identity — so, Greene said, “religion sticks, LGBT sticks.” It also was in line with Putin’s <a href="https://www.thedailybeast.com/g7-makes-laughingstock-of-bare-chested-horseback-rider-putin">hypermasculine</a>, <a href="https://www.themoscowtimes.com/2021/09/30/russia-proposes-extremist-label-for-lgbt-feminist-child-free-movements-a75177">misogynistic</a> posturing and the lack of visibility and public conversation about sexuality.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="FiHFmS">
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And that political posture had real consequences for queer people. The 2013 legislation placed heavy fines on sharing information with minors about “non-traditional sexual relations.” At the time, <a href="https://www.reuters.com/article/us-russia-gay/russia-passes-anti-gay-law-activists-detained-idUSBRE95A0GE20130611/">Reuters reported in 2013</a>, several municipalities in Russia already had similar laws, and anti-LGBTQ violence was becoming an increasing concern for queer Russians.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="TRRhMq">
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Since then, Putin’s government has increasingly <a href="https://cepa.org/article/russia-a-state-of-homophobia/">used legislation</a> as a weapon against LGBTQ people and organizations. In 2022, the Russian government <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2022/12/05/world/europe/russia-ban-lgbtq-propaganda.html">passed a law</a> banning any depiction in the media of queer life and just this summer passed a law <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2023/07/24/world/europe/putin-transgender-transition-surgery-russia.html">criminalizing gender transition</a>.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="tsUA0p">
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“Promotion of conservatism and assertiveness toward Western liberalism have accompanied Russia’s increasing authoritarianism and efforts to ‘manage’ civil society,” Buyantueva said. “Prior to [last week’s ruling], the most harmful in this regard has been the legislation on ‘<a href="https://www.themoscowtimes.com/2017/03/24/russia-may-shrink-its-foreign-agents-registry-by-half-a57526">foreign agents</a>’ and ‘<a href="https://www.rferl.org/a/russian-lawmakers-bill-undesirable-organizations/31298911.html">unwelcome organizations</a>’ that explicitly targets links between Russian NGOs and Western donors,” demonizing those organizations and making it more difficult for them to operate in Russia.
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</p>
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<h3 id="TELE4p">
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Life is already terrifying for LGBTQ Russians
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</h3>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="R3lKyo">
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Since Thursday’s ruling, Russian authorities have already raided a number of queer venues including two bars and a bathhouse in Moscow, <a href="https://apnews.com/article/russia-lgbtq-nightclub-raids-crackdown-33e1b9a0110bf22dc2ebc7c42efe6335">according to the Associated Press</a>.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="9skIYi">
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“Of course [the ruling] affects people in absolutely terrible ways — it’s part of a violent crackdown that is unleashed by the state and is performed by the state, but also by non-state actors and agents and <a href="https://adcmemorial.org/statyi/lgbti-persecution-2021-2022/">wider society</a>,” Kondakov told Vox in an interview. “It has an absolutely devastating effect on so many different levels — on a psychological level, but also real violence.”
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="ZbbWOI">
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That violence is perpetrated not only by the state — the FSB, or Russian Federal Security Service, and the police — but also by criminal groups that attack LGBTQ people and organizations with the tacit acceptance of the state, Greene said.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="4LunjC">
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“One of the things that happens is when the state starts identifying a community as extremist, and thus, by definition, beyond the pale of legality, not deserving of the protection of the law, that gives carte blanche to vigilantes to go off and do what they do,” he told Vox. “So even from the very beginning in 2012, 2013, when the state starts pushing against the LGBT community, you see a significant uptick in violence against members of that community that’s mostly not done by the state. It’s mostly skinheads, Christian nationalists, that kind of thing.”
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="8jqcOR">
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And since there’s no way to visibly identify queer people, and “no such organization as ‘international LGBT public movement,’” Buyantueva said, general police repression and public homophobia will likely increase under the new law. “Basically, anyone suspected/accused to be a part of the ‘movement’ might be harassed, prosecuted, and/or face violence,” she said.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="Wwbevz">
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Given that, many LGBTQ Russians may choose to leave, especially as Putin’s homophobic and anti-Western rhetoric increases during his campaign for the 2024 presidency; he’s campaigning on saving Russian traditional values through the war on Ukraine.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="mXiZJJ">
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As Kondakov told Vox, the government’s oppressive anti-gay policy “doesn’t work as well as it used to, and probably they need the injection of homophobia more and more frequently nowadays” to distract people from the Kremlin’s “crisis of legitimacy” over the unsuccessful and unpopular war and increasing isolation from the rest of the world.
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</p></li>
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<li><strong>An oil executive is leading the UN climate summit. It’s going as well as you’d expect.</strong> -
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<figure>
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<img alt="A man wearing a white robe and head scarf with a black headband, sitting at the COP28 speakers’ desk." src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/JvOl0Ci7gmmbEpv2Tj_b8OwzDRY=/0x0:3556x2667/1310x983/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/72931340/1820580423.0.jpg"/>
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<figcaption>
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UAE Industry and Advanced Technology Minister and President of COP28, Sultan bin Ahmed Al Jaber, has faced backlash for recent comments. | Nuran Erkul Kaya/Anadolu/Getty Images
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</figcaption>
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</figure>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
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The head of COP28 is facing widespread backlash for his comments on fossil fuels.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="mP834r">
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As the United Nations’ annual climate summit COP28 continues, controversial comments by Sultan Ahmed al-Jaber, the head of the conference, are roiling the event and raising questions about how substantive any new <a href="https://www.vox.com/fossil-fuels">fossil fuel</a> agreement emerging from the gathering will be.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="O6Y5UW">
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In a meeting one week before the conference, <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/science-environment-67591804">Jaber</a> — who is the United Arab Emirates minister of industry and advanced technology as well as the chairman of the Abu Dhabi National Oil Company — told a panel he believed there was no science to suggest eliminating fossil fuels would help keep global temperature increases below the key threshold of 1.5 degrees Celsius.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="HQOlJz">
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“There is no science out there, or no scenario out there, that says that the phase-out of fossil fuel is what’s going to achieve 1.5C,” Jaber said during a late November climate panel hosted by the climate nonprofit She Changes Climate as <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2023/dec/03/back-into-caves-cop28-president-dismisses-phase-out-of-fossil-fuels">first reported by the Guardian</a>. Additionally, he seemed to push back against a fossil fuel phase-out entirely: “Please help me, show me the roadmap for a phase-out of fossil fuel that will allow for sustainable socioeconomic development, unless you want to take the world back into caves.” (He did later call a phase-out “inevitable” and “essential.”)
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="H7wglp">
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As <a href="https://www.vox.com/23969523/climate-change-cop28-paris-1-5-c-uae-2023-record-warm">Vox’s Umair Irfan has explained,</a> a vast majority of countries previously agreed to try to limit the average global temperature to 1.5°C more than what the average Earth temperature was prior to the Industrial Revolution. The idea is that limiting the increase to 1.5°C is the most realistic strategy for minimizing extreme weather events and other climate catastrophes. Because of the number’s international importance, Jaber’s critics took his statement as undermining research regarding the causes of <a href="https://www.vox.com/climate">climate change</a>, and as a threat to COP’s goals.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="Rb1ZLS">
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Climate scientists have emphasized that Jaber’s statements are inaccurate, with some noting that they’re reminiscent of arguments the fossil fuel industry is known for making. According to the <a href="https://www.ipcc.ch/2023/03/20/press-release-ar6-synthesis-report/">2023 report from the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change</a>, greenhouse gas emissions — which are heavily caused by the usage of fossil fuels — would need to be slashed to almost half by 2030 to keep the temperature increase below 1.5°C. Scientists have also worried that it’s too late to even limit the temperature increase to that level and that the goal is no longer tenable. As <a href="https://www.vox.com/23969523/climate-change-cop28-paris-1-5-c-uae-2023-record-warm">Irfan noted</a>, for example, 2023 might be the first year the world’s average temperatures rise above the 1.5°C mark.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="2EMQI0">
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“Al Jaber’s comments are absurd and troubling, betraying both an ignorance about the science and a dismissiveness about the need for rapid decarbonization, which is at the very center of the proceedings over which he is in principle presiding as COP28 president,” University of Pennsylvania climate scientist Michael Mann told Vox.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="5mfOgj">
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Jaber’s comments also directly conflict with statements made by many world leaders, including UN Secretary-General Antonio Guterres, who said on Friday: “The science is clear: The 1.5C limit is only possible if we ultimately stop burning all fossil fuels. Not reduce, not abate. Phase out, with a clear timeframe.”
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="X52SiO">
|
||
Jaber has since responded to the blowback, claiming that he is focused on ensuring that “everything we do is centered around the science” and that there has been a “misrepresentation” of his statements. In remarks on Monday, Jaber reiterated that he believes “the phase-out and phase-down of fossil fuel is inevitable,” comments he previously made during the She Changes panel as well.
|
||
</p>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="EgIC6X">
|
||
His remarks during the panel have served only to deepen existing scrutiny of Jaber’s leadership of COP given his role as the head of a national oil and gas company and <a href="https://thehill.com/policy/energy-environment/4336267-cop28-united-nations-climate-conference-dubai-scrutiny/">reports that he was capitalizing on this position</a> to advance the UAE’s business interests. (He has denied these allegations.)
|
||
</p>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="HkC73x">
|
||
His statements also come as participants at the annual climate talks address a heated debate about the future of fossil fuels and weigh an agreement that could significantly curb or eliminate their usage down the line. As <a href="https://www.cnbc.com/2023/12/04/a-fossil-fuel-fight-takes-center-stage-at-the-cop28-climate-summit.html">CNBC reports</a>, many climate experts believe that this year’s COP won’t be considered a success unless attendees reach a deal about phasing out the usage of fossil fuels, a decision some countries have balked at. Attendees pushing for a weaker option are urging a “phase-down,” which would reduce rather than eliminate fossil fuel usage.
|
||
</p>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="97MhoL">
|
||
Jaber’s previous remarks fuel uncertainty around how aggressive countries will be in any COP agreements pushing to wind down fossil fuel usage.
|
||
</p>
|
||
<h3 id="w7erxe">
|
||
Jaber’s fossil fuel comments come amid a big debate
|
||
</h3>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="pOzc24">
|
||
As multiple climate experts have emphasized, the scientific evidence directly conflicts with Jaber’s remarks. As <a href="https://www.npr.org/2023/12/04/1216935780/u-n-climate-talks-head-says-no-science-backs-ending-fossil-fuels-thats-incorrect">NPR’s Rebecca Hersher writes</a>, scientific studies have found that there need to be drastic cuts in fossil fuel usage and carbon emissions to limit global temperature increases. Hersher explains: “In order to limit global warming to 1.5 degrees Celsius, carbon dioxide emissions would need to decrease 80% by 2040 and 99% by 2050, compared to levels in 2019, according to the most comprehensive global scientific consensus report on climate change.”
|
||
</p>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="cTr8a7">
|
||
Fossil fuel production would need to be slashed drastically — if not eliminated — starting immediately to meet those targets; 2040 is just over 16 years away. That’s why climate experts and activists want to see global leaders emerge from this year’s COP with an aggressive but workable plan to quickly phase out fossil fuels. As summit members discuss next steps for reducing fossil fuel usage, there are key disagreements over the approach that could be used, which could have a measurable impact on any efforts to stay within 1.5°C.
|
||
</p>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="osZOjB">
|
||
The debate over a “phase-out” or a “phase-down” is one key point of contention. Climate scientists have advocated heavily for the former as a means of rapidly curbing emissions from oil and gas, while Jaber and members of the fossil fuel industry have kept the door open to the latter. A phase-down would reduce fossil fuel usage over time and be more gradual.
|
||
</p>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="utbSNf">
|
||
“The outcome of COP28 must be that all the oil, gas, and coal nations of the world see that now we are truly at the beginning of the end of the fossil fuel era for the world <a href="https://www.vox.com/economy">economy</a>. And that we are now starting to bend the curve, properly,” Johan Rockstrom, director of the Potsdam Institute for Climate Impact Research, <a href="https://www.cnbc.com/2023/12/04/a-fossil-fuel-fight-takes-center-stage-at-the-cop28-climate-summit.html">told CNBC</a>.
|
||
</p>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="Qnvtj5">
|
||
Jaber’s remarks raise questions about how strong the fossil fuels agreement coming out of the summit will be and where exactly he stands on the issue given his remarks at the She Changes Climate event, which seemed critical of a phase-out. “I have said over and over that the phase-down and the phase-out of fossil fuel is inevitable. In fact, it is essential … it needs to be orderly, fair, just, and responsible,” Jaber said at his Monday press conference.
|
||
</p>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="Hq8Bga">
|
||
</p></li>
|
||
<li><strong>What Timothée Chalamet’s Wonka has in common with Paddington Bear</strong> -
|
||
<figure>
|
||
<img alt="A young man in a purple coat and top hat standing astride amid a bunch of dancers holding open umbrellas that say “Wonka” on them." src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/hVeUVLy0QrzYyU0fHHEK4aKd36o=/141x0:1880x1304/1310x983/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/72930654/Screen_Shot_2023_12_04_at_10.03.37_AM.0.png"/>
|
||
<figcaption>
|
||
A kinder, gentler Wonka (Timothée Chalet, center). | Warner Bros.
|
||
</figcaption>
|
||
</figure>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
||
A director, a worldview, a vibe, and a love of cute hats.
|
||
</p>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="UgEB5E">
|
||
At this point, the <em>Paddington</em> <a href="https://www.vox.com/movies">movies</a> are a universally beloved internet phenomenon, adored by children and adults alike. (Well, I don’t know tons of kids who are as obsessed with Paddington as some adults I know, but let’s just go with it.) Back when the first <em>Paddington </em>was gearing up for release, however, that fate didn’t seem predetermined.
|
||
</p>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="KFoYG1">
|
||
One of the first looks at the film turned into a <a href="https://www.vox.com/internet-culture">meme</a> that deemed the <a href="https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/creepy-paddington">sweet bear “creepy”</a> and <a href="https://ew.com/article/2015/01/19/paddington-a-critical-and-box-office-success-dont-be-so-surprised/">the release date was pushed into January</a>, signaling that the distributor didn’t have the highest hopes for its success. (In another sign of how times have changed: The initial <em>Paddington </em>was distributed in the US by a subsidiary of The Weinstein Company.) But we should have never feared. <em>Paddington </em>was a delight, and <em>Paddington 2 </em>was a masterpiece.
|
||
</p>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="Qp3VON">
|
||
Which brings me to <em>Wonka</em>, the new movie that shares director Paul King with the bear-centric tales. The early buzz on <em>Wonka </em>has ranged from confused to derisive. Why, exactly, do we need a prequel story about Roald Dahl’s somewhat menacing chocolatier from <em>Charlie and the Chocolate Factory</em>? Is Timothée Chalamet the true heir to Gene Wilder’s legacy? Is this nothing more than <a href="https://www.intomore.com/entertainment/film/timothee-chalamet-officially-twonka-twink-wonka/">“Twonka,”</a> a.k.a. Twink Wonka?
|
||
</p>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="QHPGeu">
|
||
But, like <em>Paddington</em>, <em>Wonka </em>defies expectations. The movie, which is out in theaters December 15, is absolutely charming and, dare I say, extremely Paddington-core. King has infused that same sort of warm, intelligent energy into his tale of an ambitious, kooky sweets purveyor who arrives in a vaguely European town with the hope of opening up a shop, only to have his dreams stifled by a pair of scheming launderers and an evil chocolate cartel. Timothée Chalamet may not be a furry little bear, but his Wonka is akin to Paddington. He’s an oddball optimist who inspires those around him — all except for the naysayers who see his good mood as an imposition.
|
||
</p>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="XBnZPi">
|
||
It’s a worthy bit of holiday entertainment, the kind of movie that hits just right in these winter months. It’s sweet but not too treacly, not quite as perfect as <em>Paddington 2</em> (what is?) but it does the trick.
|
||
</p>
|
||
<h3 id="KfFPZN">
|
||
What is <em>Wonka</em> about?
|
||
</h3>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="1rYcAq">
|
||
The biggest ding against <em>Wonka</em> sight unseen was the problem that no one was clamoring for a Willy Wonka origin story. Wonka’s progenitor, Roald Dahl, is a tricky figure, whose legacy of children’s stories is partially undone by his legacy of <a href="https://time.com/5937507/roald-dahl-anti-semitism/">virulent antisemitism</a>. At the same time, Wonka as originally written was never a warm and cuddly figure. He’s a mysterious man with a mysterious factory and a penchant for torturing children he believes are badly behaved. In 1971’s <em>Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory</em>, Gene Wilder mashed up mischief and menace, playing Wonka like a kind of trickster god, who was, quite, frankly, a little scary.
|
||
</p>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="ZRbJ9v">
|
||
While Chalamet’s Willy shares a similar fashion sense with Wilder — and there are homages to the 1971 film, including a rendition of the song “Pure Imagination” in <em>Wonka </em>— it’s helpful to look at this version of the character with completely fresh eyes. King and co-writer Simon Farnaby, who also wrote <em>Paddington 2 </em>with the director, have made Willy fresh-faced and naive.
|
||
</p>
|
||
<figure class="e-image">
|
||
<img alt="A young man sits at a desk and looks at a one-foot tall orange man with green hair — an Oompa Loompa — under a glass dome atop the desk." src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/5UNNj7jEdw7E7DNavwewlOPf1b8=/800x0/filters:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/25131792/wonka_hugh_grant_071123_c5d00819793b491f980131ab9a9da854.jpg"/> <cite>Warner Bros.</cite>
|
||
<figcaption>
|
||
Wonka (Chalamet) and that troublesome Oompa Loompa, Lofty (Hugh Grant).
|
||
</figcaption>
|
||
</figure>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="JPmjlk">
|
||
He’s a young sailor who has finally bid farewell to life at sea with “12 silver sovereigns” in his pocket as he seeks to start life anew. By the end of his first song, he has no silver sovereigns but is offered a place to stay at a boarding house/laundry by proprietor Mrs. Scrubbit (Olivia Colman) and her menacing partner Bleacher (Tom Davis), who, with their ruddy faces and brash cockney accents, have a hint of the Thenardiers from <em>Les Misérables </em>to them.
|
||
</p>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="qE14Aw">
|
||
All Willy supposedly has to do to get a room is pay a single sovereign the next day and sign a lengthy contract. He does the latter despite the warning from a girl named Noodle (Calah Lane). (Turns out Willy learned to make chocolate from his beloved mother, played by <em>Paddington </em>veteran Sally Hawkins, but not how to read — literally.)
|
||
</p>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="uWe4Mi">
|
||
Willy’s decision not to analyze the fine print means he owes a lot more to Scrubbit and Bleacher, who imprison those indebted to them in their laundry. These are a lowly group — portrayed by Jim Carter of <em>Downton Abbey </em>fame and Natasha Rothwell of <em>Insecure </em>and <em>The White Lotus —</em> who sing a sad but funny song about their lives as they “scrub scrub.” Willy refuses to be confined and breaks out to sell his goodies with help from Noodle. There are other obstacles out there, including a consortium of chocolatiers who do not want him ruining their business. Their chocolate empire operates out of a cathedral guarded by a chocoholic priest (Rowan Atkinson, naturally). Meanwhile, a pesky Oompa Loompa named Lofty (Hugh Grant, naturally), keeps stealing Willy’s supplies.
|
||
</p>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="f2Eq9c">
|
||
All the while, this is a full-blown musical, with charming if not always memorable original songs by Neil Hannon, and big production numbers. Just like Willy’s new friends, you’re swept up by his optimism, as well as the delicate touches King brings to every scenario. He creates the world so completely that you’re invested in a detail as minute as the love lives of minor characters. Still, Chalamet’s sweet-faced Willy takes center stage.
|
||
</p>
|
||
<h3 id="0xu6r7">
|
||
How is it Paddington-core?
|
||
</h3>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="KnPkxP">
|
||
Well, there’s the obvious: King directed it and his style is unmistakable. He even echoes some of his own set pieces, including a church bit from <em>Paddington 2 </em>and a nighttime rooftop sequence from <em>Paddington</em>. He employs some of the same cast members as well, including Hawkins, once again playing a kindly mother figure, and Davis, once again playing a baritone criminal. And then there’s Hugh Grant, whose turn as a dastardly actor in <em>Paddington 2 </em>was the highlight of his latter-day career, now sporting an orange face and green hair as a particularly sassy Oompa Loompa.
|
||
</p>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="u705rv">
|
||
But most of all Paddington-core is in Paddington’s spirit, which Willy himself embodies here. As played by Chalamet, who is at his most earnest, Willy is just lightly kooky. He’s mostly sprightly and irrepressibly joyful, a glass-half-full kind of guy who makes treats from giraffe milk and a fly from Mumbai. Like Paddington, this Wonka is an innocent. Sure, with his desire to make a fortune, he’s a bit more of a capitalist than the bear, but even though he’s supposedly seen the world, he seems shocked when anyone’s intentions aren’t pure.
|
||
</p>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="pv1iAo">
|
||
If you’re looking for a film that grapples with the spiky edges of Dahl’s work and his legacy, this is not it. (Watch Wes Anderson’s <a href="https://www.vulture.com/2023/09/wes-andersons-henry-sugar-shorts-are-best-seen-together.html">Netflix shorts for that</a>.) It’s not that there isn’t peril — Willy, after all, is forced into indentured servitude — but whimsy trumps that. It’s like how, in <em>Paddington 2</em>, Paddington is sent to prison only to end up teaching his fellow inmates how to make marmalade. Anything can be softened with the right kind of sweets.
|
||
</p>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="BW1BIm">
|
||
In <em>Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory </em>with Gene Wilder, eating one of Willy’s confections has the potential for peril because Willy himself is maniacal. Here, Willy’s goodies are sources of wonderment. Nothing has yet soured his worldview. He hasn’t developed a scheme to suss out good children from bad or gotten himself an army of Oompa Loompa slaves. For now, we can just think of this not as Dahl’s version of Wonka but as Paul King’s. And it’s a sweet treat.
|
||
</p></li>
|
||
</ul>
|
||
<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-the-hindu-sports">From The Hindu: Sports</h1>
|
||
<ul>
|
||
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Champions Way, Fondness Of You, Immortal Beauty, Priceless Prince and Bold Act excel</strong> -</p></li>
|
||
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Running Star pleases</strong> -</p></li>
|
||
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Bangor On Dee should win the Pronto Pronto Plate</strong> -</p></li>
|
||
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>New Zealand eye comeback final Test win in Bangladesh</strong> - The Kiwis, who started their long season with a tour to Pakistan in April, have also played series in Britain, Bangladesh and the United Arab Emirates, before playing in the World Cup in India</p></li>
|
||
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Bavuma, Rabada rested for white-ball series against India</strong> - Both India and South Africa are gearing up for the new World Test Championships cycle, starting with the Boxing Day Test in Centurion on December 26</p></li>
|
||
</ul>
|
||
<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-the-hindu-national-news">From The Hindu: National News</h1>
|
||
<ul>
|
||
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Jayalalithaa’s death anniversary observed in Chennai</strong> -</p></li>
|
||
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Doubts raised over events that led to death of elephant Arjuna</strong> - A mahout who was part of the operation has said that Arjuna suffered a bullet injury during the operation, because of which he could not fight.</p></li>
|
||
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Michaung cyclone crosses A.P. coast with 90-100 kmph winds</strong> -</p></li>
|
||
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Farewell to Arjuna: Hundreds of people bid adieu to Karnataka’s beloved tusker</strong> - The popular gentle giant was laid to rest at a Forest Department plantation in Sakaleshpur. Arjuna’s mahout, Vinod, was inconsolable and could be seen trying to wake the tusker up, unwilling to believe that he was no more.</p></li>
|
||
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Cyclone Michaung | Aamir Khan rescued from flood; pics with Vishnu Vishal and Jwala Gutta go viral</strong> - Aamir Khan had reportedly shifted residence to Chennai in October to be with his ailing mother, Zeenat Hussain, who is undergoing treatment in a private medical facility in the city</p></li>
|
||
</ul>
|
||
<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-bbc-europe">From BBC: Europe</h1>
|
||
<ul>
|
||
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Spread of gang violence wrecks Sweden’s peaceful image</strong> - Several passers-by are among those killed in gangland shootings and bombings beyond the big cities.</p></li>
|
||
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Villejuif: Small plane makes emergency landing in Paris suburb</strong> - An engine failure forces the pilot to make an emergency landing, crashing into an apartment building.</p></li>
|
||
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Firefighters rescue injured owl from crows</strong> - An injured owl in the Russian city of Smolensk has the good fortune to end up outside a fire station.</p></li>
|
||
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Panini: First ever World Cup Sticker album up for sale</strong> - The first ever Panini World Cup sticker album is going up for auction and could sell for thousands of pounds!</p></li>
|
||
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Paris attack near Eiffel Tower leaves one dead and two injured</strong> - The suspect tells police he was upset by “so many Muslims dying in Afghanistan and in Palestine”.</p></li>
|
||
</ul>
|
||
<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-ars-technica">From Ars Technica</h1>
|
||
<ul>
|
||
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Grand Theft Auto VI trailer arrives early with a crime-crazy Florida</strong> - First female protagonist and sun-soaked, satire-drenched tone on display. - <a href="https://arstechnica.com/?p=1988539">link</a></p></li>
|
||
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Don’t count on NASA to return humans to the Moon in 2025 or 2026, GAO says</strong> - No surprise: SpaceX’s lunar lander and Axiom’s spacesuits pace the Artemis III schedule. - <a href="https://arstechnica.com/?p=1987897">link</a></p></li>
|
||
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Texas sues Pfizer with COVID anti-vax argument that is pure stupid</strong> - Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton struggles with relative vs. absolute risk. - <a href="https://arstechnica.com/?p=1988507">link</a></p></li>
|
||
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Hackers stole ancestry data of 6.9 million users, 23andMe finally confirmed</strong> - Majority of impacted users are now being notified, 23andMe confirmed. - <a href="https://arstechnica.com/?p=1988493">link</a></p></li>
|
||
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>After a chaotic three years, GPU sales are starting to look normal-ish again</strong> - Supply and demand are syncing back up after years of GPU market turmoil. - <a href="https://arstechnica.com/?p=1988346">link</a></p></li>
|
||
</ul>
|
||
<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-jokes-subreddit">From Jokes Subreddit</h1>
|
||
<ul>
|
||
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>A large university class is taking the final exam…</strong> - <!-- SC_OFF --></p>
|
||
<div class="md">
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
||
…about 300 students are writing away in their blue books and the professor warns two minutes til pencils down. Then one minute. Then he calls out that the exam is over, please stop writing.
|
||
</p>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
||
As the body of students slowly lines up to turn in their exams, one student keeps writing. The professor sternly says if you do not stop writing now, I will not accept you exam. The student keeps writing. The en professor says again the exam is over. The student keeps writing, but the professor has give up at this point.
|
||
</p>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
||
Finally, at the back of the line, the student comes to turn in his blue book. The professor says, I’m sorry, I gave you multiple warnings, you wrote for several minutes past the end, I’m not going to accept your exam.
|
||
</p>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
||
The student says, indignant, “Do you have <em>any</em> idea who I am?”
|
||
</p>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
||
The, now shocked, professor says, “No, I don’t.”
|
||
</p>
|
||
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
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And with that, the student lifts up half of the exams, shoves his into the middle of the pile, and walks out.
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"> submitted by <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/chrisxls"> /u/chrisxls </a> <br/> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/18b84l6/a_large_university_class_is_taking_the_final_exam/">[link]</a></span> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/18b84l6/a_large_university_class_is_taking_the_final_exam/">[comments]</a></span></p></li>
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<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>A college professor had just finished explaining an important research project to the class</strong> - <!-- SC_OFF --></p>
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He emphasized that this paper was an absolute requirement for passing the class, and that there would be only two acceptable excuses for being late. Those were a medically certifiable illness or a death in the student’s immediate family. A prankster student in the back of the classroom waved his hand and spoke up, “But what about extreme sexual exhaustion, professor?” As you would expect the class exploded in laughter. When the students had finally settled down, the professor froze the young man with a glaring look. “Well,” he responded, “I guess you’ll have to learn how to write with your other hand then…”
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"> submitted by <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/kickypie"> /u/kickypie </a> <br/> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/18aukd4/a_college_professor_had_just_finished_explaining/">[link]</a></span> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/18aukd4/a_college_professor_had_just_finished_explaining/">[comments]</a></span></p></li>
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<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Let’s Pretend We’re Married</strong> - <!-- SC_OFF --></p>
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A man and woman who had never met before, but were both married to other people, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping compartment on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, the man in the upper berth and the woman in the lower one.
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At 1:00 am, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying “Ma’am, I’m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet and get me a blanket? I’m awfully cold.”
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“I have a better idea,” she replied, “Just for tonight, let’s pretend that we’re married.”
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“Wow, that’s a great idea!” he exclaimed.
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“Good,” she replied. “Get your own fucking blanket.”
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After a moment of silence, he farted.
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"> submitted by <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/BigKahuna348"> /u/BigKahuna348 </a> <br/> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/18akta9/lets_pretend_were_married/">[link]</a></span> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/18akta9/lets_pretend_were_married/">[comments]</a></span></p></li>
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<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>GOD said, Adam, I want you to do something for me. Gladly, Lord, replied Adam. What do you want me to do? Go down into the valley. Whats a valley? asked Adam.</strong> - <!-- SC_OFF --></p>
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God explained to him, then said, Cross the river. Whats a river? God explained it to him, and then continued, Go over the hill. Whats a hill? God explained to Adam what a hill was, then said, On the other side of the hill, you will find a cave. Whats a cave? After God explained, he said, In the cave you will find a woman. Adam asked, Whats a woman? So God explained that to him too. He continued, I want you to reproduce. How do I do that? Jeez, God muttered under his breath. He then sighed and explained the birds and the bees to Adam. He liked that concept very much, so he went down into the valley, across the river, over the hill and into the cave where he found a woman. A little while later, Adam returned and asked God, Whats a headache?
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</p>
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</div>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"> submitted by <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/YZXFILE"> /u/YZXFILE </a> <br/> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/18askzw/god_said_adam_i_want_you_to_do_something_for_me/">[link]</a></span> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/18askzw/god_said_adam_i_want_you_to_do_something_for_me/">[comments]</a></span></p></li>
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<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Telling a Chuck Norris joke to Chuck Norris is dangerous…</strong> - <!-- SC_OFF --></p>
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If he doesn’t like the joke you’ll be dead before you told it.
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</p>
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</div>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"> submitted by <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/cybermiester"> /u/cybermiester </a> <br/> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/18aypw2/telling_a_chuck_norris_joke_to_chuck_norris_is/">[link]</a></span> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/18aypw2/telling_a_chuck_norris_joke_to_chuck_norris_is/">[comments]</a></span></p></li>
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</ul>
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