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<h1 data-aos="fade-down" id="daily-dose">Daily-Dose</h1>
<h1 data-aos="fade-right" data-aos-anchor-placement="top-bottom" id="contents">Contents</h1>
<ul>
<li><a href="#from-new-yorker">From New Yorker</a></li>
<li><a href="#from-vox">From Vox</a></li>
<li><a href="#from-the-hindu-sports">From The Hindu: Sports</a></li>
<li><a href="#from-the-hindu-national-news">From The Hindu: National News</a></li>
<li><a href="#from-bbc-europe">From BBC: Europe</a></li>
<li><a href="#from-ars-technica">From Ars Technica</a></li>
<li><a href="#from-jokes-subreddit">From Jokes Subreddit</a></li>
</ul>
<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-new-yorker">From New Yorker</h1>
<ul>
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>An Explicitly Redistributive Budget for an Election Year</strong> - Joe Biden wants to expand the social safety net and reduce the deficit by raising taxes on the top two per cent and particularly the top 0.01 per cent. - <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/news/our-columnists/an-explicitly-redistributive-budget-for-an-election-year">link</a></p></li>
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Have the Liberal Arts Gone Conservative?</strong> - The classical-education movement seeks to fundamentally reorient schooling in America. Its emphasis on morality and civics has also primed it for partisan takeover. - <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2024/03/18/have-the-liberal-arts-gone-conservative">link</a></p></li>
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Percival Everett Cant Say What His Novels Mean</strong> - The author of “Erasure” is renowned for his satires of genre, identity, and America. But his great target may be language itself. - <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2024/03/18/percival-everett-profile">link</a></p></li>
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>The Open-Air Prison for ISIS Supporters—and Victims</strong> - Since the Islamic State fell, tens of thousands of people—many of them children—have been herded into Al-Hol, a giant fenced-in camp in Syria, and effectively given life sentences. - <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2024/03/18/the-open-air-prison-for-isis-supporters-and-victims">link</a></p></li>
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Among the A.I. Doomsayers</strong> - Some people think machine intelligence will transform humanity for the better. Others fear it may destroy us. Who will decide our fate? - <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2024/03/18/among-the-ai-doomsayers">link</a></p></li>
</ul>
<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-vox">From Vox</h1>
<ul>
<li><strong>Whats a Saturn return — and why are our favorite pop stars singing about it?</strong> -
<figure>
<img alt="Ariana Grande, in a tan and light blue princess-style ballgown, sings into a standing microphone." src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/AOM14LLAuYaaQN_dVAbly6KxZ_w=/531x306:2599x1857/1310x983/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/73203420/2066683936.0.jpg"/>
<figcaption>
Ariana Grande performs “imperfect for you,” a song off her Saturn return-inspired new album, on <em>Saturday Night Live</em>. | Will Heath/NBC via Getty Images
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
The astrological phenomenon namechecked in new songs from Ariana Grande, Kacey Musgraves, and SZA, explained.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="JmBiTc">
Ariana Grande, Kacey Musgraves, and SZA couldnt sound more different. But on their new and upcoming albums, all three women are singing about the same thing: Saturn. Sure, space is very intriguing, and there may be no celestial body thats more photogenic than Saturn and its trademark rings. But theres something deeper here than casual planetary admiration.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="SRYIad">
SZAs “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2G8ESoDXm8">Saturn</a>,” released in late February, has lyrics about dreaming of the cosmic entity breaking her for the better. In the first verse of her lead single “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPTpZ6CEoJ8">Deeper Well</a>,” a song about letting bad people and bad habits go, Musgraves is concerned with the same planet, singing, “My Saturn has returned.” And Grande has a track off her new album, released on March 8, titled “<a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-S9_1ng9DPc">Saturn Returns Interlude</a>” featuring a voiceover about waking up and changing your life.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="YdE36g">
Theyre singing about the astrological phenomenon known as a Saturn return.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="usTucd">
A Saturn return is the concept that every 30 or so years in a persons life, Saturn comes back to the place in the sky that it was on the day that person was born. For a lot of people, 30 also happens to be a time when a huge jump in adulthood happens. And depending on how much you believe in astrology, a Saturn return could have a lot or a little to do with that.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="ZyHRMF">
As someone who dabbles in horoscopes and loves pop music, I wanted to get a better understanding of why my favorite female singers are so deeply obsessed with the way a planet orbits. I spoke with <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Astrology-Relationships-Complete-Compatibility-Colleagues-ebook/dp/B086WNW1SD">author</a> and astrologer <a href="https://www.instagram.com/jakesastrology/?hl=en">Jake Register</a> about why a Saturn return seems to be a rough time for everyone, if all this stuff is just baloney, and whether you can really be a pop star today if youre not singing about Saturn.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="NPLKB1">
<strong>Jake, what is a “Saturn return?” When someone says Saturn return, what does that mean? </strong>
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="Ci4kg1">
A Saturn return happens when youre between 27 and 29 years old. Its when Saturn returns to the same part of the same sign it was in in your birth chart. I was born at the end of 1996. I have Saturn in Aries. When Saturn gets back to Aries in like a year and a half to two years, thats gonna be my Saturn return.
</p>
<div class="c-float-right">
<aside id="i2w7TW">
<q>“Saturn is the taskmaster of the zodiac”</q>
</aside>
</div>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="WLeAs1">
Its one of the most critical cycles in astrology and, at a very basic level, your first Saturn return is like,<em></em>Oh my God, youre a real grown-up.” Its all about development and maturity.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="xuw25D">
<strong>I think when you hear about these things — development, maturity, growing up — and how people who are into astrology talk about the term, it seems like a Saturn return is not exactly a fun time. I am not really that excited about things like lessons</strong><em><strong>. </strong></em>
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="vb2tgd">
Saturn is the taskmaster of the zodiac. It rules responsibility and if theres anything to do with Saturn, shes gonna make you work for it. You dont have everything sorted out when youre 26 years old, and once you hit 27, 28, or 29 — that Saturn return age — you start realizing that even if you thought you had your shit together, you actually dont.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="gaztZ1">
<strong>So when I was 26, I absolutely did not have anything together. But I dont think all 26-year-olds are the same. Some were way more responsible than me. </strong>
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="BasCc0">
A Saturn return is like evolving, but youve got to work.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="sTE7FE">
If youve been paying your dues, being responsible, taking care of business, then a Saturn return can actually be a really positive thing where its a time of recognition, promotions, upward mobility, because Saturn return is all about making sure you are on the right path. If youre already on the right path, then Saturns just going to reinforce that and give you more momentum. Thats usually most reflected with relationships and career.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="P4vZjV">
<strong>And if youre not …</strong>
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="yziCn8">
Well, this is around the age where people are like, “Oh my god, this is a deadbeat job.”
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="qIwECY">
And Saturns like, “Okay, if you want more, Ill give you more. Here are tons of opportunities that you have to <em>work</em> through. And its gonna be a pain in the ass, but its going to take you somewhere closer to where you want to be.”
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="vmivNC">
Its the same with relationships. This is a time where you need to figure out how to connect with other people, what kind of relationship you want. You need to cut out toxic relationships. With Saturn returns, the best thing you could possibly do is keep it real with yourself.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="KMRktO">
Why a lot of people experience that as a difficult and negative thing is because nobody has their entire life together. Certainly not when youre 27 years old. But if you are, then its all about recognition and promotion.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="ujwX8G">
<strong>Well, thats awfully nice of Saturn to do that.</strong>
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="GmtNgg">
Ultimately its a good thing, because its a test of how sturdy the foundation of your life is. Its going to shake shit up.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="O4od2W">
<strong>Are you kind of surprised that our pop girlies are having Saturn returns and thinking about them?</strong>
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="S0R0ft">
My beloved, messy Ariana. I think for her, its definitely applying to relationships. So Im interested in giving a listen to what she has to say about her Saturn return.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="pTMYW7">
I really like Kacey Musgraves and she has Saturn in Sagittarius — I looked at the Saturn part of her chart earlier. Sagittarius is like a young, wild, and free kind of sign. So even if Saturns up in there, theres more flexibility and optimism. I wouldnt say its innate, but Sagittarius is an optimistic Jupiter-ruled sign. Ari has Saturn in Pisces. Emotional. What a mess. That poor girl and all those poor boys shes interacted with.
</p>
<figure class="e-image">
<img alt="Kacey Musgraves, in a white and blue quilt-patterned dress, sings on stage with a group of musicians backing her." src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/62FGp9soVDDtdKryMGfHmxEXQT4=/800x0/filters:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/25329609/2048507040.jpg"/> <cite>Will Heath/NBC via Getty Images</cite>
<figcaption>
Kacey Musgraves performing her Saturn return-inspired song, “Deeper Well,” also on <em>SNL</em>!
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="WGNTty">
But, I think the popularity is a mixture of things. These girls were probably in that prime age group of people who were really getting into astrology from 2017 to 2020. [Grande is 30, Musgraves is 35, SZA is 34.]
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="5HkGcX">
That popularity is a fascinating thing. Obviously, I am fully invested in astrology, I think that its real. I think that Saturn returns are a real thing and theyre really tough to deal with. And I think if you are the kind of person that wants to sing songs, and creatively express yourself about your Saturn return, go for it.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="SvshCP">
<strong>Kacey Musgravess first song off her new album is “Deeper Well.” The lyrics are pretty clear. She opens with “My Saturn has returned” and then sings about how shes finally leaving people and habits that are wasting her time and dragging her down, like waking and baking (singing, “Roll out of bed, hit the gravity bong that I made”). </strong>
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="8aWf8v">
Thats a great mindset to have during a Saturn return. Because, ultimately, Saturn wants strength and stability and structure. She has a great approach to it.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="wjeOiW">
Astrology can be used kind of like a roadmap. It can tell you what to expect. So when youre in that age, and you see things kind of falling apart in different parts of your life, but youre aware of Saturn returns, then you realize that there is like a grander purpose to this.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="kOpwH7">
<strong>Kacey is a Leo. Ariana is a Cancer. SZA is a Scorpio. Does your astrological sign have any bearing on what your Saturn return will be like? From what youre telling me, it sounds like its more personal than that. </strong>
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="3lZ9y2">
A Saturn return is not so much dependent on your sun sign, but more so on your rising sign because the house that Saturn is in — thats where its going to tell you the most, like what difficulties youll be facing. Some people have Saturn in the first house which represents a lot of things, but your physical body is one of them. And that could be like a health journey or something where youre improving the way you feel about your body, doing an extreme makeover or overhaul of how you take care of your body. The seventh house is relationships. If you have Saturn in the seventh house, that Saturn return is when a lot of divorces happen.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="cQjl05">
I have Saturn in the eighth house. Taxes. Hello!
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="MlHNLO">
<strong>The jump from 26 to 30 is huge when it comes to adulthood. And I guess its a question of, which came first? Does Saturn help explain those growing pains? What would you say to a skeptic? </strong>
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="7GKLY4">
I would say that the distinction between people who are under 30 and over 30 is really, really clear in our society.<strong> </strong>Pretty much everybody would agree with that. There are difficulties in your life in that age period, and you know, if Saturn returning to the same spot it was in is a coincidence, purely fine. But you know, we look at the stars, whats happening up there is reflected down here in mundane life. So Saturn returns are just one of the many cycles that you can see happening.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="U7g7Jr">
If you want to get into the nitty-gritty of it, Saturn returns are just one part of a full Saturn cycle. When youre born, seven years later Saturn is square. Its three signs away, or four signs away. Thats difficult and then thats when youre seven, 22, 37 — every 14 to 15 years.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="Xy4QbB">
The Saturn square happens between the Saturn opposition and the Saturn return and is a time of challenges. Saturn opposition is that mid-life crisis, like, “Oh my god here are ALL the things I want to do and all this room for growth in my life,” and Saturn square is like, “Okay, but first you HAVE to take care of this, there are obligations and responsibilities that need to be done.”
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="HgIFtO">
Its an urgent, busy-work kind of transit, like an unpaid internship, but [you have to use] that experience to get a real, paying job thats higher up. Your Saturn opposition is when Saturn is in the opposite sign. Your first one is when youre 14 or 15 and youre feeling the weight of the world.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="5fLzZX">
<strong>Okay, I see your point. Being 14 absolutely sucks. </strong>
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="W8nkXh">
And then the next Saturn opposition happens when youre in your early 40s, which is a midlife crisis, you know? Its like the end of the cycle and the beginning of a cycle.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="uF6JLq">
Its a time of perspective. Its a time of needing to be flexible, needing to be realistic, because a lot of people like to blame Saturn returns or Mercury retrograde or any astrological thing when everything is going wrong.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="KQxDDc">
<strong>If your first Saturn return happens when youre going to turn 30, then the next one happens at around 60. What is the second Saturn return like? Is it different than the first one? </strong>
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="IgLBxi">
Its a very similar vibe. Where if you really fucked up your first Saturn return and you didnt become a real grown-up, then this is like, okay, can you finally be fully functioning? Like, lets make sure you have all your shit together.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="vz8nSc">
<strong>Okay, but like, youre 60. That 401(k) is done. </strong>
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="oLwzMB">
You got one foot out the door already. But seriously, for a lot of people, that could be when theyre at the height of their career or shortly after the height of their career. And theyre starting to really enjoy the rewards, like right before theyre about to retire.
</p>
<figure class="e-image">
<img alt="SZA performs in a black tank top, pants, and boots at the Grammy Awards. " src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/JIMBz6o_5E17OQ9kpFYFNGxM_YM=/800x0/filters:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/25329619/1987584995.jpg"/> <cite>Timothy Norris/FilmMagic</cite>
<figcaption>
SZA is a proud Scorpio and a self-professed astrology girlie.
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="E7Vulb">
<strong>I just looked at my chart. My Saturn is in Libra. But I am [redacted] years old so Saturn already came and hurt me.</strong>
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="sZt5K8">
Oh, well, youre about to go through your Saturn opposition — that 40s, mid-life crisis kind of deal that I mentioned. So thats going to be a time of seeing empty parts of your life where growth could occur.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="amsgw0">
<strong>Even though we make a big deal about Saturn returns, it seems like thats a little bit of a misunderstanding. Saturn is always there. Shes always watching and waiting. Like full on stalker behavior. </strong>
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="F7nkXF">
Saturn is like that mean teacher that everybody had in middle school who was just awful and its like she had eyes in the back of her head. Or his head — you have a very specific one. Thats Saturn. She, or he, has business that they have to attend to, and you better pay attention and if you cant keep up then, you know, see you later.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="TsXVp7">
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="8sYqzt">
</p></li>
<li><strong>Under Biden, US oil production is as high as its ever been</strong> -
<figure>
<img alt="Workers in hard hats and construction gear walk along a high metal walkway on the exterior of a massive oil platform filled with machinery." src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/VDY9L86Zwc_qhPd91zAXyoNd7Es=/564x0:5000x3327/1310x983/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/73203330/1239805763.0.jpg"/>
<figcaption>
Workers on the Shell Vito offshore oil platform while under construction onshore in Texas, in April 2022. | Eddie Seal/Bloomberg via Getty Images
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
Biden is not “waging war” on American energy. Hes boosting it.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="OBZEvC">
The US is the largest crude oil producer in the world, pumping out nearly 13 million barrels on average every day in 2023, an all-time record, according to <a href="https://www.eia.gov/todayinenergy/detail.php?id=61545">new data</a> from the US Energy Information Administration.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="pBRgsG">
Thats an awkward milestone for <a href="https://www.vox.com/joe-biden">President Joe Biden</a>, who has arguably done more than any modern president to facilitate Americas transition away from <a href="https://www.vox.com/fossil-fuels">fossil fuels</a> to greener alternatives.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="yTVshD">
For the last six years, America has outstripped <a href="https://www.vox.com/russia">Russia</a>, Saudi Arabia, and other OPEC countries in crude oil production. And it has picked up the pace under Biden, who had approved <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2023/10/03/biden-fossil-fuels-republicans-energy-war-record/">more permits for oil and gas drilling on public lands</a> by last October than former <a href="https://www.vox.com/donald-trump">President Donald Trump</a> had by the same point in his presidency.
</p>
<figure class="e-image">
<img alt="A line chart compares oil production in the US, Russia, and Saudi Arabia from 2013 to 2023, showing the US took a big leap in production around 2018 and has produced more than the other two since then. " src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/Wd8eOByy5lbuOyFt6NsyReYLos8=/800x0/filters:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/25332884/FBbsZ_the_us_holds_the_global_crude_oil_production_record.png"/> <cite>Nicole Narea/Vox</cite>
</figure>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="5tRfSu">
Biden has expedited the construction of an <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/climate-environment/2023/05/31/debt-deal-mountain-valley-pipeline/?itid=lk_inline_manual_25&amp;itid=lk_inline_manual_38">oil pipeline</a> in West Virginia and approved <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/climate-environment/2023/03/17/willow-project-alaska-oil-drilling-explained/?itid=lk_inline_manual_25&amp;itid=lk_inline_manual_38">the Willow oil project</a> in Alaska, over the opposition of environmental activists and despite his 2020 campaign promise to stop drilling on federal lands altogether.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="bh3v3V">
Increased oil production has helped keep gas prices low after they spiked in 2022, even as OPEC countries have <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2023/12/19/business/us-production-oil-reserves-crude/index.html">slashed supply</a> in an attempt to drive prices higher and despite disruptions to the global supply chain wrought by <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/chloedemrovsky/2023/01/18/supply-chain-and-ukraine-shaped-a-hectic-year--what-will-2023-bring/?sh=1c20ad006358">Russias war in Ukraine</a>. American production, bolstered by <a href="https://www.chevron.com/newsroom/2022/q4/tapping-into-high-tech-to-drill-more-efficiently">advancements in drilling</a> that improve efficiency, is also helping to meet what is projected to be <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2023/12/19/business/us-production-oil-reserves-crude/index.html">record global demand</a> in 2024.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="aXcOhX">
But Bidens challenge now, in an election year, is reconciling the countrys expanding oil sector with his claim in the <a href="https://www.whitehouse.gov/state-of-the-union-2024/">State of the Union address</a> last week that hes “taking the most significant action ever on climate in the history of the world.”
</p>
<h3 id="xfVW2u">
What Americas oil production means for Bidens climate politics
</h3>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="7xaiAf">
Biden does deserve credit for what hes done to expand the nations energy options, said <a href="https://www.nrdc.org/bio/alexandra-adams">Alexandra Adams</a>, senior adviser to the Natural Resources Defense Council Action Fund. In 2022, he signed the <a href="https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2022/7/28/23282217/climate-bill-health-care-drugs-inflation-reduction-act">Inflation Reduction Act</a>, which incentivized companies to produce more renewable energy technologies by creating funded tax credits and rebates for those technologies, penalized fossil fuel companies for excess methane emissions, and more.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="tSlL1j">
“Hes confronting the <a href="https://www.vox.com/climate">climate crisis</a> with powerful incentives to drive <a href="https://www.vox.com/energy">clean energy</a> investment, cut costs, create jobs, and strengthen the supply chain for the building blocks of a modern <a href="https://www.vox.com/economy">economy</a>,” she said. “Consumers deserve to be able to choose clean, renewable power instead of the fossil fuels that are driving the climate crisis. Thats what Bidens energy strategy is all about.”
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="woObHV">
Since Biden signed the <a href="https://www.vox.com/2022/8/8/23296951/inflation-reduction-act-biden-democrats-climate-change">IRA</a>, there has been close to <a href="https://e2.org/announcements/">$118 billion invested in factories</a> to build <a href="https://www.vox.com/solar-energy">solar panels</a>, wind turbines, <a href="https://www.vox.com/electric-vehicles">electric vehicles</a>, advanced <a href="https://www.vox.com/batteries">batteries</a> and more.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="Wd7kwm">
The law is projected to reduce US greenhouse gas emissions <a href="https://partnerships.princeton.edu/news/2023/new-study-evaluates-climate-impact-ira#:~:text=The%20research%20teams%20found%20that,journal%20Science%20on%20June%2029.">by 43 to 48 percent from 2005 levels by 2035</a>, after Trump had <a href="https://climateactiontracker.org/press/effect-of-the-us-withdrawal-from-the-paris-agreement/">hindered progress on reducing emissions</a> by withdrawing from the 2015 Paris climate agreement. And as a bonus, the legislation has created more than <a href="https://e2.org/releases/e2-100k-jobs-announced-by-companies-since-ira-as-business-leaders-visit-dc-14-new-projects-announced-in-feb/#:~:text=In%20all%2C%20at%20least%20292,capital%20investment%20for%20these%20projects.">102,000 jobs</a> across the country.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="iuTMbV">
Nevertheless, Republicans like to claim that Biden is waging a “<a href="https://www.gop.gov/news/documentsingle.aspx?DocumentID=724">war</a>” on American energy. In September, the Republican-controlled House held a subcommittee <a href="https://naturalresources.house.gov/news/documentsingle.aspx?DocumentID=414861">hearing</a> titled: “Bidens War on Domestic Energy Threatens Every American.”
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="Y53Osb">
Trump has claimed on the campaign trail that America was “<a href="https://www.rev.com/blog/transcripts/donald-trump-speaks-to-striking-uaw-members-transcript">energy independent, soon to be dominant</a>” while he was in office, even as the country is <a href="https://www.forbes.com/sites/rrapier/2023/05/02/us-energy-independence-soars-to-highest-levels-in-over-70-years/?sh=2d7e0d33977f">already producing more energy than it consumes</a>.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="oOVKW5">
Biden doesnt like to talk about the oil boom hes overseeing; in fact, when he talks about Americas oil industry, <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2022/nov/01/biden-oil-companies-war-profiteering-windfall-tax-ukraine">its typically been negative</a>. He is, after all, relying on a base of Democratic voters who are passionate about climate to win reelection this year. In a <a href="https://www.documentcloud.org/documents/24202399-cnn-poll-large-majority-of-us-adults-and-half-of-republicans-agree-with-bidens-goal-to-slash-climate-pollution">December CNN poll</a>, almost two-thirds of US adults said they were worried about the threat of climate change in their communities.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="IsvFQw">
But he will have to walk a fine line in the campaign ahead: touting his climate accomplishments while hoping swing voters remember this fall that, despite <a href="https://www.vox.com/politics/24094752/biden-trump-strong-economy-2024-inflation">stubborn inflation in other parts of the economy</a>, gas is still pretty cheap.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="2qTFpP">
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="rlfj6W">
</p></li>
<li><strong>Chinas grip on Hong Kong just became a little tighter</strong> -
<figure>
<img alt="" src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/z4-J93Uq_h0bkQ9mB9w4DOf4_nw=/198x0:2811x1960/1310x983/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/73203312/GettyImages_1126244572.0.jpg"/>
<figcaption>
In 2003, more than half a million Hong Kong people took to the streets in a landmark protest, shown here, against a national security law. | Jonathan Wong/South China Morning Post via Getty Images
</figcaption>
</figure>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
21 years ago, half a million Hong Kongers took to the streets to stop Article 23. This month, Beijing finally won.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="ltLKhH">
Last week, the government of Hong Kong <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2024/03/07/world/asia/hong-kong-security-law.html">published</a> the latest of a series of increasingly draconian <a href="https://www.vox.com/defense-and-security">national security</a> laws. This one will target espionage, treason, and foreign political interference, and those found guilty of violating some of its tenets could be <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-china-68508694">sentenced to life imprisonment</a>.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="dxUqFo">
This might sound niche or even well-intentioned; doesnt the US have its own fears about foreign political interference in its elections? But this isnt really about national security. It is, as <a href="https://www.hrw.org/news/2024/02/19/hong-kong-governments-should-oppose-security-bill">Human Rights Watch put it</a>, “Beijings latest effort to transform Hong Kong from a free society to an oppressed one where people live in fear.”
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="Rpv43q">
That effort has been underway at varying speeds since Hong Kong was returned to Beijings control in 1997. It is now all but complete.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="4J0QaO">
Despite <a href="https://www.state.gov/hong-kongs-proposed-article-23-legislation-further-undermines-one-country-two-systems-framework/">complaints</a> from foreign governments, from what remains of <a href="https://freedomhouse.org/article/joint-statement-civil-society-groups-hong-kong-governments-consultation-article-23">Hong Kong civil society</a>, and even from the citys increasingly beleaguered <a href="https://www.bloomberg.com/opinion/articles/2024-03-11/article-23-hong-kong-s-national-security-law-needs-more-clarity">international business community</a>, Hong Kongs now opposition-less legislature will <a href="https://www.cnn.com/2024/03/08/world/hong-kong-new-national-security-laws-china-intl-hnk/index.html">almost assuredly fast-track it into law</a>.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="RcMX3w">
For Hong Kongs 7.4 million citizens, the multi-year fight to maintain some semblance of self-government and political rights is all but over. There is no news here.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="pjCKWk">
But the name of this new legislation — Article 23 — will jog the memory of anyone who has lived in or observed Hong Kong over the past quarter-century. Its a name that was once a symbol of Hong Kongers refusal to submit to Beijings will and their willingness to take to the streets to fight for their liberty.
</p>
<h3 id="iWagLi">
The backstory of Hong Kongs Article 23
</h3>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="bfSTO1">
Article 23 is found in Hong Kongs Basic Law, a city constitution of sorts worked out between Beijing and the British government in the years leading up to Hong Kongs return to Chinese rule. It <a href="https://www.basiclaw.gov.hk/en/basiclaw/chapter2.html#:~:text=The%20Hong%20Kong%20Special%20Administrative%20Region%20shall%20enact%20laws%20on,in%20the%20Region%2C%20and%20to">states</a>, among other things, that Hong Kongs government will “enact laws on its own to prohibit any ahct of treason, secession, sedition, subversion against the Central Peoples Government” in Beijing.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="tBVPBs">
It wasnt until nearly six years after the 1997 handover that Hong Kongs government, with more than a little nudging from Beijing, made a serious effort to pass a law that would fulfill Article 23. Legislation was drafted in February 2003 that, among other provisions, would have allowed the Hong Kong government to ban any organization if it had links to organizations banned in <a href="https://www.vox.com/china">China</a> for national security reasons.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="DxEnQD">
That alarmed pro-democracy groups in Hong Kong, where hundreds of thousands of people from China had found refuge following the Chinese Communist Partys takeover of the mainland in 1949, as well as the citys vibrant Christian churches, which feared being forced out of existence.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="Qy4uNS">
But there were fears that went beyond the text of the legislation.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="vTlFtM">
The relationship between Hong Kong and China after the formers return was defined by the phrase “one country, two systems.” Formulated by former Chinese leader Deng Xiaoping, who had a <a href="https://www.chinadaily.com.cn/a/201808/02/WS5b728ae4a310add14f385b4a.html">knack for pithy political expressions</a>, this meant in practice that Hong Kong would be largely left to run under its own system of laws — including general civil liberties like freedom of speech and press — while acknowledging that ultimately, Hong Kong was part of the Chinese state.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="6Q9h27">
So Hong Kongers were always on the lookout for signs that “two systems” was becoming one. The introduction of Article 23 legislation in 2003 was that sign.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="7GL88a">
Still, what could they do about it? The British — who, lets not forget, had never allowed Hong Kong anything like full democracy — were long gone. They might be a <a href="https://www.gov.hk/en/about/abouthk/facts.htm">Special Administrative Region</a> and have their own passports, but they were part of the Peoples Republic of China. And in any case, Hong Kong was a city built on trade, not politics. Its business was business.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="cyvFNm">
Then came July 1, 2003.
</p>
<h3 id="x0ABcc">
The march — and what came after
</h3>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="9Q52Kn">
On what was a brutally hot day even for a Hong Kong summer, as many as 500,000 Hong Kongers took to the streets to oppose the Article 23 legislation. It was the <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2003/07/01/international/asia/hundreds-of-thousands-in-hong-kong-protest-security-laws.html">largest such protest in the city</a> since hundreds of thousands had marched against the Tiananmen Square massacre in 1989.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="DoreMF">
I was there, walking among the marchers as a young reporter for Time magazine. It was a cross-section of the Hong Kong I knew — young families, elderly men and women who had once come from the mainland themselves, teenagers at their first protest. They were angry about the Article 23 legislation, about the way their government had mismanaged the SARS outbreak earlier that year, and about the dwindling opportunities for good jobs and decent housing.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="QenPjj">
But what I remember was the pride present in the crowd. They were proud of their identity as Hong Kongers, as a people with a distinct language, a distinct culture, and, yes, distinct rights. They took to the streets because they would not allow that identity and those rights to be taken from them without a fight.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="NFSAMO">
And they won, at least temporarily. The Article 23 legislation was eventually shelved.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="nxo0NX">
But not forever. By the 2010s, with the less pragmatic and more autocratic Xi Jinping leading China, Beijing <a href="https://time.com/5606212/hong-kong-history-mass-demonstrations-protest/">began to squeeze</a>. Legislation was introduced to bring “moral and national education” to Hong Kongs curriculum, code for Beijings view of history, and what limited representation existed in the citys legislature was further constrained.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="bPY4su">
At every turn, Hong Kongers returned to the streets in protest, most famously in the “Umbrella Revolution” of 2014. They won some battles and became a symbol of the global fight for democracy. But it was a war they couldnt win.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="mAZ2wc">
Xi Jinping had no interest in two systems — only his. And with every year, the room for free expression was further curtailed until there was no room at all. The new Article 23 legislation merely confirms that fact.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="LLsj32">
For one day, though, in July 2003 — and on many days that would follow — Hong Kongers showed what it was to act on freedom.
</p></li>
</ul>
<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-the-hindu-sports">From The Hindu: Sports</h1>
<ul>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>African Gold catches the eye</strong> -</p></li>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Creative Girl and Regal Command impress</strong> -</p></li>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>India no longer has more losses than wins in Test cricket: Data</strong> - Dominance at home since the 1990s and competitiveness in away games since the 2000s have helped</p></li>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Ashwin replaces Bumrah at the top of ICC Test rankings</strong> - Rohit Sharma rose five places to sixth in the batting charts of the latest ICC rankings</p></li>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>BCCI set to bar state units from directly partnering with foreign boards</strong> - The BCCI has decided to take this step after several state units, held talks with foreign boards for hosting them on exposure trips</p></li>
</ul>
<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-the-hindu-national-news">From The Hindu: National News</h1>
<ul>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Multimedia laser light &amp; sound show on Hyderabads Hussainsagar Lake launched</strong> - The story of Kohinoor diamond mined in Golconda was narrated through the show</p></li>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Andhra Pradesh High Court directs ECI to take action on involvement of volunteers in poll process</strong> - Citizens for Democracy secretary N. Ramesh Kumar, in a writ petition, alleged that requests to the Chief Electoral Officer to bar the volunteers from physical disbursements of various benefits of welfare schemes were not acted upon</p></li>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>People from disadvantaged sections biggest beneficiaries of govt schemes: Modi</strong> - Mr. Modi said his governments schemes for toilets and cooking gas have benefited deprived sections of society.</p></li>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>IIT-Hyderabad to support Telangana Commercial Taxes officials in the investigation into GST returns scam</strong> - IIT-H Director of Research sends his report to CT officials</p></li>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Kerala Cabinet approves AVGC-XR policy</strong> -</p></li>
</ul>
<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-bbc-europe">From BBC: Europe</h1>
<ul>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>EU says starvation being used as a weapon in Gaza</strong> - The blocs foreign policy chief says not enough aid is getting in because land routes are being closed off.</p></li>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>First Gaza aid ship sets off from Cyprus</strong> - The charity ship Open Arms aims to deliver 200 tonnes of food as part of a new maritime aid corridor.</p></li>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Occupied Ukraine forced to vote in Putins election</strong> - Pro-Russian officials - backed by armed men - are urging people in occupied Ukraine to vote.</p></li>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Ukraine-based groups claim raids into Russia</strong> - Russian rebel forces claim villages in Kursk and Belgorod areas - Moscow says the attacks failed.</p></li>
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>The Ukrainian sea drones hunting Russian warships</strong> - The BBC meets the drone operators helping to resist Russias attempts to dominate the Black Sea.</p></li>
</ul>
<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-ars-technica">From Ars Technica</h1>
<ul>
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Chicago battles measles with calls for vaccination—in contrast with Florida</strong> - US faces threat of measles resurgence amid global rise and declining vaccination. - <a href="https://arstechnica.com/?p=2009758">link</a></p></li>
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>IRS has launched its free tax filing service, Direct File, in 12 states</strong> - Direct File has many limits, but nearly 19M people in 12 states may be eligible. - <a href="https://arstechnica.com/?p=2009741">link</a></p></li>
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Abysmal revenue stats of 30K mobile apps show why devs keep pushing for subs</strong> - New apps reportedly make median monthly revenue of less than $50. - <a href="https://arstechnica.com/?p=2009677">link</a></p></li>
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>The 2024 Moto G Power packs wireless charging, 8GB RAM in a $300 phone</strong> - The 2024 Moto G starts arriving at the end of March at most budget carriers. - <a href="https://arstechnica.com/?p=2009597">link</a></p></li>
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>New iPads may be coming soon, but they wont change the awkward spot the iPad is in</strong> - Op-ed: The iPad needs more than a simple hardware refresh to fix what ails it. - <a href="https://arstechnica.com/?p=2009539">link</a></p></li>
</ul>
<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-jokes-subreddit">From Jokes Subreddit</h1>
<ul>
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>A penny fell out of a womans privates</strong> - <!-- SC_OFF --></p>
<div class="md">
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
A woman got up and out of bed and stretched and a penny fell out of her privates. She thought it was odd but kept on with her morning routine. She went to put on a pot of coffee and a nickel fell out of her privates. She was concerned but continued her morning routine. She drank her coffee and went to brush her teeth when a dime fell out of her privates. She really was getting concerned and thought if anything else happens, Im calling the doctor. She got dressed and started to tidy up the house, and a quarter fell out of her privates and rolled down her pant leg. Concerned, she called her doctor. She told him…..a penny, a nickel, a dime an then a quarter.
</p>
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
He said " no need to worry, youre going through the change"
</p>
</div>
<!-- SC_ON -->
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"> submitted by <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/ZaddyMackSays"> /u/ZaddyMackSays </a> <br/> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1bd9w2d/a_penny_fell_out_of_a_womans_privates/">[link]</a></span> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1bd9w2d/a_penny_fell_out_of_a_womans_privates/">[comments]</a></span></p></li>
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out.</strong> - <!-- SC_OFF --></p>
<div class="md">
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
As he walked to the door she yelled, “I hope you die a long, slow, painful death.” He turned around and said, “So, you want me to stay?”
</p>
</div>
<!-- SC_ON -->
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"> submitted by <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/corporalcrocodile"> /u/corporalcrocodile </a> <br/> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1bdny3m/a_wife_got_so_mad_at_her_husband_she_packed_his/">[link]</a></span> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1bdny3m/a_wife_got_so_mad_at_her_husband_she_packed_his/">[comments]</a></span></p></li>
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>A billionaire makes an offer to his employee</strong> - <!-- SC_OFF --></p>
<div class="md">
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
The boss says “You seem like a nice guy. If you marry my daughter, Ill make you a partner, give you an expense account, a Ferrari, and a million dollar annual salary.”
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The employee asks whats wrong with her. The boss shows him a picture, and shes hideous. The boss says, “Its only fair to tell you, shes not only ugly, shes also as dumb as a brick.” The employee replies, “I dont care what you offer me, its not worth it.” The boss says, “Ill still give you all the perks but make the salary $3 million a year and buy you a penthouse condominium on Park Avenue as well.” After a bit of thought, the guy accepts the offer figuring he can put a bag over her head when they have sex.
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About a year later, the employee buys an original Salvadore Dali painting and hes about to hang it on the wall. He climbs a ladder and yells to his wife, “Bring me a hammer.” She mumbles, “Get the hammer. Get the hammer,” and she fetches the hammer. The guy says, “Get me some nails.” She mumbles, “Get the nails. Get the nails,” and she gets him some nails. The guys starts hammering a nail into the wall, hits his thumb, and screams “Fuck!” She mumbles, “Get the bag. Get the bag.”
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"> submitted by <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/AssociationSubject85"> /u/AssociationSubject85 </a> <br/> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1bcx5cx/a_billionaire_makes_an_offer_to_his_employee/">[link]</a></span> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1bcx5cx/a_billionaire_makes_an_offer_to_his_employee/">[comments]</a></span></p></li>
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>A guy dies and goes to hell</strong> - <!-- SC_OFF --></p>
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As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil.
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Satan: Why so glum? Guy: What do you think? Im in hell!
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Satan: Hells not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. Are you a drinking man? Guy: Sure, I love to drink. Satan: Well youre gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays thats all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers etc. We drink till we throw up and then we drink some more! And we dont worry about getting a hangover because youre dead anyway. Guy: Gee, that sounds great!
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Satan: You a smoker? Guy: You better believe it! Satan: All right! Youre gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer no biggie, youre already dead, remember? Guy: Wow… thats awesome!
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Satan: I bet you like to gamble. Guy: Why yes, as a matter of fact I do. Satan: Great. OnWednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, Blackjack, Roulette, Poker, Slots. If you go bankrupt… youre dead anyhow.
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Satan: Do you like drugs?? Guy: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You dont mean… Satan: Thats right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl of coke or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can do all the drugs you want, youre dead, who cares. Guy: WOW! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!
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Satan: Are you gay? Guy: No.
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Satan: Oh Youre gonna hate Fridays.
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"> submitted by <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/AssociationSubject85"> /u/AssociationSubject85 </a> <br/> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1bcxdox/a_guy_dies_and_goes_to_hell/">[link]</a></span> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1bcxdox/a_guy_dies_and_goes_to_hell/">[comments]</a></span></p></li>
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>What do you call denying your partner the mile high club?</strong> - <!-- SC_OFF --></p>
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Not giving a flying fuck
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"> submitted by <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Holden_place"> /u/Holden_place </a> <br/> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1bd7zgk/what_do_you_call_denying_your_partner_the_mile/">[link]</a></span> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/1bd7zgk/what_do_you_call_denying_your_partner_the_mile/">[comments]</a></span></p></li>
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