Whether it’s your own or someone else’s.
After Erica Freeman lost two pregnancies, a stillbirth at 39 weeks and a miscarriage in her second trimester, she hoped to connect with other Black women on social media discussing their experiences. “I didn’t find any out there that were sharing their story,” she says.
In 2017, Freeman became that voice she longed to hear. She launched a podcast, Sisters In Loss, to encourage freer discussion of pregnancy loss, infertility, paths to parenthood, and Black maternal health and infant mortality. “When something bad happens, it’s typically held close to our chest because we think we’re alone, like we’re the only person who’s gone through this terrible traumatic experience,” Freeman says, “when in many cases, it’s not true.”
Pregnancy loss is common. About 10 percent of “clinically recognized” pregnancies end in miscarriage — the loss of a pregnancy before 20 weeks gestation. There are many causes for miscarriage: chromosomal abnormalities causing the embryo not to develop properly, hormonal imbalances, unmanaged diabetes, malnutrition. Exercise, sex, and going to work does not cause miscarriage. Stillbirth, when a fetus dies after the 20th week of pregnancy, accounts for one out of every 167 pregnancies in the US. Black women have greater risk of miscarriage and stillbirth compared to white women, according to research.
Still, discussing pregnancy loss can be difficult. Well-meaning loved ones fear saying the wrong thing and those who have lost a pregnancy often don’t have a good road map for sharing this news due to a cultural tendency not to talk about miscarriage and stillbirth. “We don’t have the language for this,” says Loree Johnson, a licensed marriage and family therapist. “We have language to communicate the loss of a spouse: you become a widow or a widower. You become an orphan if you’ve lost your parents. There’s not really a language in the US culture for someone who’s lost a pregnancy.”
How each person discusses their pregnancy loss is entirely dependent on what they’re open to talking about and their experience. They may be sharing news of the loss with loved ones because they need tangible support, like help cooking dinner while they heal. Others may hope to fend off insensitive questions about their bodies from coworkers. Freeman was motivated by transparency, to show others they aren’t alone. But as more people talk about miscarriage or stillbirth, these conversations are normalized, Johnson says, and society can better understand both the physical and emotional realities of pregnancy loss.
There are ways to compassionately talk about pregnancy loss, whether you’re looking for support from loved ones after your own miscarriage or you want to lend a sympathetic ear. Here’s some guidance.
How to talk about your pregnancy loss with friends and family
When and how to tell loved ones about your pregnancy loss will depend on your needs and comfort level. “You get to decide when the right time to tell others might be,” says Landon Zaki, a licensed psychologist and owner of Bloom Therapy. “For some, this might be immediately as they seek needed support. For others, this might be after some time having processed the loss.”
It may be helpful to share the news incrementally, Freeman says, where you first inform your partner and family about the loss — and coordinate logistics, like who will pick up your other children from school — and then slowly open up about the experience as you’re ready. You can say something along the lines of “I just wanted to let you know I had a miscarriage. I would love for you to support me by …” Freeman says “sometimes it’s very hard for people to ask exactly how [they] can support you.” It’s okay if you don’t know what kind of support you need — it can often change from minute to minute, day to day. Johnson says it can be helpful to get tips and strategies from pregnancy loss or infertility communities for guidance on what they found useful to request from family and friends. Both Freeman and reproductive health psychologist Jessica Zucker provide resources on their websites and social media.
How you share news of the loss can differ based on your relationship to the person, your emotional capacity, and whether that mode of communication best facilitates how you want to be supported, Johnson says. Some questions to consider: Who is the easiest person to tell? What communication method is easiest for you? Will you get the support you need through a text message? Do you have the energy for a phone call? Some of Johnson’s clients have found mass emails the easiest way to inform many people at one time. You can also tell your loved ones how you would like to be contacted, she says. Texts or emails give you the opportunity to reply when you’re in the right headspace, Johnson notes, in a way that a face-to-face conversation can’t.
In her book I Had A Miscarriage: A Memoir, A Movement, Zucker wrote of her experience informing a few close friends and family members of her miscarriage by simply texting, “I had a miscarriage.” “I found myself reaching for some semblance of community, of comfort, of a way to tether myself to the living as I remained in the presence of death,” she wrote.
You may also want to enlist the help of a trusted friend to help inform your network of your loss on your behalf. They can be the point person for providing details about what’s going on with you and how others can support you. This gives you the space to grieve and process without fielding multiple calls and texts.
Even if you did not share your pregnancy with your network in the first place, Zucker still finds value in discussing the loss. You could say, “I was pregnant, and we recently learned I’m not” or “I was waiting to share good news with you, but unfortunately, I got some not-so-great news.”
Conversations with your other children, if you have them, should be age-appropriate but honest, says Patti Budnik, the bereavement care manager at Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support. Say something like, “The baby stopped growing” or “The baby passed away and we don’t know why.” Avoid language that might unintentionally frighten your children. “If you tell them that baby was sleeping, then they may be scared to go to sleep themselves,” Budnik says. “If you say the baby’s sick and then every time mom gets a cold or dad gets a cold or they get a cold, they might think that, ‘Oh my gosh, I’m gonna die also.’”
When taking off time from work, you may need to provide your manager or HR with basic information in order to take advantage of bereavement leave or other time off policies if you have them. There is no federal bereavement leave policy, but five states — California, Illinois, Maryland, Oregon, and Washington — currently have statewide bereavement guidelines. Employees may take time off to recover from stillbirth under the Family and Medical Leave Act, but that time may be unpaid. It’s up to you to determine how much you want to disclose to your employer. Freeman suggests saying, “I’ve experienced pregnancy loss. My doctors are recommending two weeks off. How do I make sure that I get paid for those two weeks?”
Some people may, in their effort to comfort you, ask for more information you aren’t yet comfortable sharing. While it may be difficult in the midst of your grief to set a boundary, you need to speak up for yourself and what you’re comfortable discussing, Budnik says. Tell loved ones what you’re willing to speak about or point out comments that hurt you. Zaki suggests saying, “I know you want to help, but what you are saying isn’t helping me right now. Here’s what I need instead.”
You may be confronting a whirlwind of emotions, from anger, guilt, shame, grief, and even relief. Give yourself grace for any emotion you’re experiencing. To help process your grief, Refuge in Grief offers self-guided courses for engaging with your pain. Share Pregnancy and Infant Loss Support also hosts online chats and Facebook groups for bereaved parents. “Attributing a miscarriage — and any response to it — to a personal character flaw or individual choice, rather than the basic comingling of chromosomes during fertilization,” Zucker writes, “keeps us suspended in the past.” Understand there are many pregnancy experiences, including loss and responses to such loss. “But the best way to make room for all those experiences,” Zucker writes, “is by speaking them aloud.”
What to say to a loved one who has lost a pregnancy
Hearing the news of someone’s pregnancy loss can be painful, but remember your role is to be supportive; the griever should not have to manage your emotions on top of their own. The best thing you can tell someone who shares their loss with you is, “I wish there was something that I could say that can make this better. I’m here for you,” Budnik says. Your loved one might just need you to listen, to babysit, to tell other friends. Consider whether your loved one shared their plans for their pregnancy and their baby. It may be helpful for them to hear, “Tell me about your pregnancy” or “Tell me what you were planning for this baby,” according to Budnik.
Tangible support is often appreciated, Freeman says. “Always think about things you can remove from their plate that are basic life functions,” she says. “How can we make sure that they have food and groceries in their house?” Think about their life and needs when making offers of assistance. Do they need someone to walk their dog? A ride to a doctor’s appointment?
Acknowledge the loss and don’t minimize the grieving parents’ pain. Budnik says it can be helpful to ask if they named the baby and if they plan on holding a funeral or other remembrance ritual. Always try to refer to the baby’s name if the parents told you, Budnik continues.
When looking for words of comfort, well-meaning supporters often turn to platitudes that do more harm than good. Avoid these statements:
- “At least it happened early.”
- “At least you have other children.”
- “You can always get pregnant again.”
- “God wouldn’t give you more than you could handle.”
- “Everything happens for a reason.”
- “You don’t even look like you’re pregnant.”
- “Have you considered IVF?”
- “Once you get pregnant again, you’ll feel better.”
Keep showing up and checking in with your loved one beyond the first few weeks following the loss. Tell them you’re thinking of them, ask them how they are and if they’d like to talk. Don’t assume that just because the parents seem “okay” or “fine” that they’re not hurting and in need of a friend, Zucker says.
If your loved one told you their due date, Budnik suggests reaching out on or around that date. Say, “I know your due date is coming up. I’m thinking about you.” Zucker suggests sending a thoughtful message or phone call on the anniversary of the loss. “And if they’re like, ‘You know what, actually I’m so tired of talking over it. I can’t deal with it anymore,’” Zucker says, “Then you don’t need to, of course, bring it up anymore.”
Discussing grief in any capacity is difficult — especially so for those who lost a pregnancy. Tread lightly, lead with compassion, and listen. “People will always remember who was there for them,” Freeman says. “They may not even remember any of the events of exactly what happened during their pregnancy loss, but they will always remember who showed up for them at the end of the day.”
One winner: Natural gas.
In 2013, President Barack Obama announced on a blisteringly hot June day at Georgetown University that his administration would be taking historic action to address power plant pollution — an attempt ultimately blocked in court.
The Biden administration’s rollout of the new rules on Thursday was a more understated affair. Instead of a big presidential announcement, EPA administrator Michael Regan spoke from the University of Maryland about the agency’s third attempt at regulating power plant pollution from existing plants, explaining “these aren’t restrictions, as some would say,” but about “seizing the moment and understanding that we have an obligation” to leave a healthier planet behind.
The proposed rules are a less elegant and splashy solution than the Obama-era Clean Power Plan, but the complex set of proposals also stands a better chance of withstanding court scrutiny. The EPA breaks down requirements based on the type of plant, its size, and how often it is in use. Utilities, working with states, would ultimately decide how to meet the EPA’s emissions rates by choosing among available technologies. Coal plants, for instance, could fire less carbon-intensive fuels such as hydrogen and gas, to supplement coal. Coal and gas plants can also install carbon capture and storage or sequestration, a technology that removes carbon dioxide at the smokestack to eventually store it underground. Or a plant could bypass all this if it sets a retirement date in the medium term.
As a result, existing coal plants would cut their carbon pollution 90 percent by the end of the decade, unless a plant sets a retirement date before 2040. Existing gas plants get more leeway — only the largest gas plants, less than a third in operation, will have to slash their pollution by 90 percent by 2035.
The EPA makes a dent in coal pollution especially, but it doesn’t eliminate power plant pollution entirely. It leaves a mixed bag of winners and losers.
Winner: The EPA
The Supreme Court has knocked down the EPA’s attempted power sector rules twice, first by halting the Clean Power Plan from going into effect and again by finding it violated the Clean Air Act. Trump’s weak replacement, which would have effectively increased emissions, also didn’t pass muster from federal courts.
It’s now the EPA’s third time attempting to regulate the power sector. To comply with the Supreme Court ruling, the EPA looks only at technology that can be upgraded inside the power plant (rather than shifting the power mix statewide to renewables). That leaves a limited set of options: A plant could lower its emissions by installing lower-emissions technology, like hydrogen, or carbon capture technology that works like a scrubber would to remove carbon before it enters the atmosphere. The suite of rules affects existing coal and gas plants differently depending on its size, how often it’s in use, and whether it has a date to retire.
All these carveouts and exceptions make for a difficult way to sum up the rule in a soundbite — this is no Clean Power Plan 2.0. But it also makes for a sturdier rule that can stand up to the lawsuits and court scrutiny to follow.
Once the rule is finalized and in effect (a process that is still at least a year away), the agency can finally say it is regulating carbon pollution from the power sector.
“By proposing new standards for fossil fuel-fired power plants, EPA is delivering on its mission to reduce harmful pollution that threatens people’s health and wellbeing,” said EPA Administrator Regan.
Winners: Carbon capture and storage and hydrogen
The rules shine a spotlight on two lesser-known technologies.
Companies like NextEra Energy have already eyed clean hydrogen for its potential, and they may be right: the technology is named as an option for utilities to also use at gas and coal plants.
Carbon capture and storage, more controversially, also get a boost. There are only a few existing handfuls of examples of carbon capture and sequestration’s use in the US and around the world (and just as memorable examples of these plants shutting down because of shaky economic conditions). The EPA makes the case that this technology is ready for the primetime, though, because of new government investments bringing down its cost.
“Today’s proposed rules elevate the role of carbon capture by naming it as one of the available technologies for reaching emissions standards for new and existing fossil fuel-fired power plants,” said Jessie Stolark, executive director of the Carbon Capture Coalition, a group that represents corporate interests on carbon capture.
With new funding in both the Inflation Reduction Act and Bipartisan Infrastructure Law, Stolark noted, “for the first time, project developers have a portfolio of complementary federal policies to catalyze the deployment of these technologies in the industry, power, and direct air capture sectors.”
The emphasis on carbon capture worries environmental justice advocates who view it as an excuse to keep coal around. “Carbon capture and sequestration technologies are harmful and unproven,” said Juan Jhong Chung, policy director at the Michigan Environmental Justice Coalition and member of the Climate Justice Alliance. “They do not operate at scale, and to expand carbon capture to a fraction of what is envisioned by this order would require constructing thousands of miles of polluting pipelines into communities already most impacted by the burning of fossil fuels.”
Whether carbon capture will really take off in the coal sector is unclear. The EPA acknowledged they’d expect some coal plants to retire rather than opt for more expensive upgrades, especially when renewables are cheaper. But some plants still have a lengthy timeline before they see enforcement, giving them a license to pollute.
Winner: The vast majority of gas plants
Natural gas plants face a different set of requirements than coal. Notably, the proposal only applies to plants that are over 300 megawatts and run at least 50 percent of the time. That only covers about 23 percent of existing gas plants today.
The vast majority of existing gas plants are exempted in this proposal, and Evergreen Action says there are a large number just below 300 MW. Charles Harper, power sector policy expert said Evergreen Action will be joining other environmental groups in making the case that the EPA should expand this threshold in the final rule. The EPA is accepting comments on lowering its threshold to plants as low as 150 megawatts.
Loser: Biden’s 2035 clean grid goal
One of Biden’s climate pledges coming into office was to get to a carbon pollution-free power sector by 2035. The EPA’s rule doesn’t get the US there. The EPA expects the regulation would slash carbon dioxide emissions by at least 617 million metric tons through 2042, equivalent to halving the total number of cars on the road for a year.
That’s a longer timeline than the US really has to address its power plant pollution and be in line with global climate targets.
A clean grid matters for more than eliminating a source of 25 percent of US pollution. Over the next decade, more people and businesses will switch from gas and oil powering their appliances and gasoline-powered cars. But electric vehicles and heat pumps aren’t truly clean alternatives unless they’re also plugging into a grid run on renewables.
It’s also about managing expectations for how much power the EPA has to tackle climate change. “The EPA’s authority is to determine what the best system of emissions reduction is and set standards based on that system,” said Jay Duffy, litigation director with the Clean Air Task Force. “Reaching climate goals is not part of the Clean Air Act instructions. It’s a nice co-benefit that we do get with strong rules.”
But the EPA is also not working in a vacuum, because the US now has the Inflation Reduction Act and the Bipartisan Infrastructure Law to expand renewables. EPA modeling has shown these laws will mean an 80 percent reduction in emissions from electricity by 2040. There’s still a wide gap to close between where current policy gets us and Biden’s ambitions, but it’s smaller than where it was.
Winner: Senator Joe Manchin
Even before the EPA rules were public, Senator Joe Manchin made his position against them clear. “This Administration is determined to advance its radical climate agenda and has made it clear they are hellbent on doing everything in their power to regulate coal and gas-fueled power plants out of existence, no matter the cost to energy security and reliability,” he said in a statement. He said the regulation “piles on top of a broader regulatory agenda being rolled out designed to kill the fossil industry by a thousand cuts.”
Manchin has taken a stand by promising to oppose all EPA nominees going forward until they “halt their government overreach.” The threat probably carries minimal consequences, since two pending EPA nominees are already advanced out of committee.
There’s a case that Manchin is actually a winner, though, at least in a political sense. Manchin hasn’t officially announced his reelection campaign for the Senate, but if he runs he will be in a challenging battle to fend off a Republican takeover. The EPA rules are an unusual gift to his campaign, because he can use the issue to keep his distance from Biden and show off that he is fossil fuels’ biggest champion.
Could the opposition end President Erdogan’s 20-year rule?
President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan has led Turkey for 20 years, consolidating power and reorienting the state around him. But this Sunday’s elections represent a very real challenge to his authority — and Turkey’s voters could finally end his rule.
Erdoğan has survived political challenges before — and he definitely could again — but an imploding economy, potential fallout from the government’s earthquake response, baggage of his decades-long tenure, and a fairly united opposition have turned this into a competitive election. Heading into Sunday’s first round of voting, polls show a tight race between Erdoğan and Kemal Kılıçdaroğlu, the opposition candidate who leads the Republican People’s Party (CHP), one of six parties joined together in an opposition coalition. In some polls, Kılıçdaroğlu has the edge.
“These elections seem to be a life-or-death situation, in a way — meaning that a lot of people see this as the last chance to actually change the Erdoğan government,” said Ateş Altınordu, assistant professor of sociology at Sabancı University in Turkey.
Kılıçdaroğlu is something of an unlikely success story. He wasn’t the obvious favorite to lead the opposition: He’s a 74-year-old longtime politician who wasn’t seen as particularly inspiring or dynamic, especially to take on a political survivor like Erdoğan. But he has appealed directly to voters with his plainspoken videos and has tried to frame his candidacy as inclusive and welcoming — a kind of calm, predictable figure who could serve as Turkey’s transition from the era of Erdoğan to the next.
That outcome is far from guaranteed. Erdoğan has built-in advantages, including control of the media and state resources. He retains a staunch base of supporters loyal to him and his Justice and Development Party (AKP). And this is a leader who’s spent the past 20 years in power, and purged his perceived political opponents from government and judicial institutions. He has built up systems of cronyism and patronage that have benefited him and his allies — leaving him and the AKP exposed if out of power.
Which means Erdoğan could still win this election outright. And if he loses, it’s another question entirely whether he’ll go away quietly.
“I think all scenarios are out on the table as to how this election might go,” said A. Kadir Yildirim, a Middle East and Turkey expert at Rice University’s Baker Institute. Erdogan, again, could win. The opposition could win, and power could transfer peacefully. Or Erdogan could try to manipulate and rig the election, or simply refuse to go — and in either of those cases, how the opposition and the institutions respond could determine whether he’s successful.
If no candidate wins a clear majority this Sunday, the election will go to a runoff on May 28. But much is at stake for Turkey’s democracy, its economy, and its future.
“The social fabric of the country is at stake. Why do I say that?” said Sebnem Gumuscu, associate professor of political science at Middlebury College. “When you hear what these leaders have to say — and what they have to promise to the country, the people — you hear two very different Turkeys.”
Why Erdoğan is in real trouble …
Erdoğan has dominated Turkish politics for most of this century. He served as prime minister from 2003 to 2014, until being elected president in 2014. The presidency used to be a mostly ceremonial role, but Erdoğan has moved the country from a parliamentary democracy to a strong presidential system. Erdoğan used a failed coup attempt in 2016 to accelerate his consolidation of power and to purge the civil service, the judiciary, and the military. He has cracked down on independent media, arresting journalists and other civil society members. Through referenda, he has expanded the powers of the presidency and removed many of the checks against that power.
Even as Erdoğan has become more of a strongman, he’s remained a pretty popular leader. His tough-guy persona has real appeal, especially when rallying fervor against certain groups he labels terrorists or picking fights with the West. He has raised Turkey’s profile internationally (though as a NATO member, Turkey has been a bit of a thorn in the alliance’s side).
But Erdoğan is facing some pretty big challenges in 2023. The big one is Turkey’s economy. Inflation is around 40 percent; people can’t afford basic necessities. The Turkish lira has crashed, which means Turks have far less purchasing power. Erdoğan has embraced a heterodox economic policy that has made things worse — specifically, he doesn’t believe in raising interest rates, thinking it will slow the economic growth.
Turkey’s economic situation has been getting worse and worse, which means Erdoğan’s promises for new infrastructure and growth are starting to sound a little hollow, and the pain is very real for ordinary Turks. “He’s never entered an electoral campaign where he cannot sell an economic message,” said Sinan Ciddi, associate professor of security studies at Marine Corps University. “As in, he’s never campaigned in a negative economic downturn.”
Meanwhile, Erdoğan has relied on systems of clientism and patronage for political and personal gain. None of this is exactly secret, but the devastating February earthquake in southeastern Turkey showed how deep that corruption and government mismanagement went. That quake killed around 50,000 people in Turkey, and anger erupted over the government’s handling of the disaster, though it’s not clear whether that will carry over to the polls.
Yaprak Gürsoy, professor of European politics and chair of contemporary Turkish studies at the London School of Economics and Political Science, said she expected the earthquake to be a bigger issue in the elections than it’s turned out to be. “That surprises me a bit, because I think it could have been something that the opposition could have really used to show the deficiencies of the government,” she said. “And they chose not to do that.” (There’s also some question about how easy it will be to vote in the earthquake-affected areas; people have been displaced, though both political parties and civil society organizations are trying to transport people to the polls.)
In the five years since he last won reelection, about 5 million new, young voters came of age. They’ve only known Erdoğan their entire lives. They see their economic prospects diminishing, especially compared to their cohorts in other countries, and their civil rights eroding. Many appear to want change, and so this population could be decisive in tipping the election toward the opposition.
… And why the opposition could win
Erdoğan is also facing surprisingly strong opposition. Months out from the election, the opposition was in complete disarray. In March, Kılıçdaroğlu, the CHP leader, finally emerged and played a key role in uniting that fractured opposition into an electoral alliance that promised to restore Turkey’s parliamentary democracy and undertake pro-democratic judicial and institutional reforms.
The CHP is the biggest party within the six-party coalition. It is the party of Mustafa Kemal Atatürk, the founder of modern Turkey, and has traditionally been a staunchly secular party — compared with Erdoğan’s AKP, which promotes Islamic values. But Kılıçdaroğlu has helped soften the CHP’s stances and done outreach to Islamists to try to broaden the party’s appeal.
Kılıçdaroğlu himself has also defied expectations as a candidate. He’s been in politics and government for a long time, but even so, he’s largely seen as someone untarnished. “He is not an exciting kind of leader, he’s not a great politician, but he’s to be trusted and he’s the right person for this particular moment,” said Altınordu. He’s frequently described as “soft-spoken.” He’s been called Turkey’s Gandhi or “Gandhi Kemal” because of his manner, but also because he led a hundreds-of-miles-long justice march in Turkey in 2017, protesting the jailing of civil servants and activists.
Kılıçdaroğlu is an Alevi, which is a heterodox Islamic tradition that has faced discrimination and persecution in Turkey. There were some fears that the predominantly Sunni Muslim country might be reticent to vote for Kılıçdaroğlu because of this, but he candidly addressed his faith in a recent video, where he told the public, “I am an Alevi. I am a Muslim. … God gave me my life. I am not sinful.” The video was widely viewed and was seen as breaking something of a taboo in Turkish politics.
Alevi. pic.twitter.com/C9Pd1ZaKoN
— Kemal Kılıçdaroğlu (@kilicdarogluk) April 19, 2023