Daily-Dose

Contents

From New Yorker

From Vox

From The Hindu: Sports

From The Hindu: National News

From BBC: Europe

From Ars Technica

From Jokes Subreddit

  • A woman goes to the doctor and says… -

    “Doctor I want to have a baby but my husband is adamant that he doesn’t want any children. What can I do?”

    The doctor tells her that the next time she goes to have sex with her husband, take a sewing needle and poke holes in the tip of the condom.

    The next day the woman goes back to the doctor and says, “Doctor it didn’t work, after I poked holes in the condom my husband didn’t want to have sex anymore, but I’m sure he didn’t see me do it.”

    The doctor says, “Yes I saw him earlier. Next time do it before you put the condom on him.”

    submitted by /u/Draconic_Flame
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  • Psychiatrist….. -

    A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with three young mothers and their small children.

    “You all have obsessions,” he observed.

    To the first mother, he said, “You are obsessed with eating. You’ve even named your daughter Candy.”

    He turned to the second mom. “Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child’s name, Penny.”

    At this point, the third mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, “Come on, Dick, let’s go.”

    submitted by /u/MercyReign
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  • Paddy was coming back from his holiday in America. -

    As he came through Customs, he had two sacks over his shoulder. The Customs officer asked him what he had in the sacks? Paddy replied Mobile phones.

    The customs officer didn’t believe him and asked to be shown. Paddy opened each sack and sure enough both sacks contained quite a few phones. "What are you going to do with all these mobile phones asked the officer?

    "Oh, they are not for me. My mate Mick, who is in a band, knew I was going over to America asked me to bring him back Two saxophones.

    submitted by /u/Buddy2269
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  • A man goes to prison -

    Its his first day in the prison, a while later he sees his cellmate go the the door and yells trough it: “#12!”, and a few people from different cells chuckle. A few hours later another man goes to the door and yells: “#31!”, and a few people start laughing, even the guards smile. Then having gathered up his courage he asks what does the numbers mean. The cellmate looks at him and anwsers: “everyone here has told the same jokes so many times, that we assigned numbers to them and say them instead”. The man thinks for a bit, goes up to the door an yells: “#136!”. And the whole prison erupts in laughter, even the guards are curled up laughing. When the laughter dies down his cellmate looks at him and says: “thats a new one!”

    submitted by /u/Diamondtrolis164
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