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  • A Mormon and the Irishman -

    A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US.
    After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.

    The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, “I’d rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips.”

    The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, “Me, too, I didn’t know we had a choice.”

    submitted by /u/Zulufepustampasic
    [link] [comments]

  • What do you call it when a group of cuddly adorable lesbians take over your country -

    A coochie coochie coup

    (I’ll see myself out…)

    submitted by /u/xxCorsicoxx
    [link] [comments]

  • Duck stands before the judge. Judge says “why are you here?” -

    Duck “I was caught blowing bubbles in the lake your honor”

    Judge “thats stupid, case dismissed”

    Next duck comes in.

    Judge “why are you here?”

    Duck “I was caught blowing bubbles in the lake your honor”

    Judge “thats stupid, case dismissed”

    Next duck comes in.

    Judge “let me guess, you were caught blowing bubbles in the lake?”

    Duck “no your honor! I am bubbles”

    submitted by /u/islandrenaissance
    [link] [comments]