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Kanye West’s Parler Games - A stream of offensive statements from Ye and the announcement that he will buy a fringe social network have reignited debates about free speech. But maybe that’s not the best place to start. - link
The Conservative Stalwart Challenging the Far-Right Legal Theory That Could Subvert American Democracy - J. Michael Luttig is opposing Republican groups in one of the most momentous cases that the Supreme Court is considering this term. - link
What a “Winning Culture” Really Means - After the Warriors’ Draymond Green punched a teammate, the team’s season was recast as a test of the organization’s culture. But what would it mean to pass that test? - link
After Liz Truss’s Resignation, Britain Urgently Needs a General Election - Common sense, basic decency, and the U.K.’s reputation as a healthy democracy demand one. - link
The mental health benefits of moving your body are considerable, even though the barriers to entry can feel high.
Six days out of the week, at roughly 2 pm, I exercise. It’s my midday pick-me-up (as opposed to having another cup of coffee), helping me catch my second wind and finish out the day. How intense it is depends on how I’m feeling. It could be a Peloton class or a heavy weight-lifting session. Or it could be a more restorative practice such as yoga or a long walk.
It seems like a simple enough endeavor, baked into my schedule, and ready for me to execute. There are many days, though, when I just don’t want to. I could be sitting in my gym clothes, with my bag packed and by the door, willing myself to get up and go move my body. These are the moments when I step back and assess if I should push myself, do something lighter than planned, or consider it a rest day and watch Rick and Morty reruns.
This is a feeling most of us know well. There are days when you have the motivation, others when you have to muster up your willpower to get moving, and some when you decide to just take the day off. But movement, and resolving to do something even when you don’t feel up to it, doesn’t need to be about getting fit or hitting a personal record in the gym. The best benefits of being active in some way are often the ones we don’t see touted on Instagram — like having more energy during the day, building strength, boosting brain health, and other mental health benefits. Movement provides nearly everyone and every body with these benefits — no “perfect” aesthetic necessary. And while someone who is navigating a serious bout of depression or anxiety likely won’t have the same intrinsic motivation capacity as someone whose mental health is stable, everyone benefits from moving in some way.
So how can we structure our lives and environments to ensure that we get moving, in some way, on those days when we’re struggling to do so? I spoke with several fitness experts to see how. Here’s what they said.
The Department of Health and Human Services recommends getting at least 150 minutes of moderate aerobic activity or 75 minutes of vigorous aerobic activity each week, plus two days of strength training.
This doesn’t mean you need to visit your gym each day and push heavy weights or take a HIIT class. There’s a difference between exercise and physical activity. The former refers to structured activity in pursuit of a fitness goal, while the latter can be anything that requires you to move — including going on a walk, taking a virtual yoga class, dancing around your apartment, playing with your kids or pets, or some light stretching. On those days when you don’t feel up to your exercise routine, taking it easier than usual can still be a way to hit the recommended physical activity benchmarks.
We feel different every day due to sleep quality, stress, work, family obligations, and our mental health. Saving the tough workouts for the days you feel amazing, and modifying on the days you don’t, allows you to take better care of your body in the long run. Striving for perfection is a sure way to burn out. It’s okay to deviate from the plan in order to meet yourself where you are and figure out why you don’t feel up to your usual. Is it a need for more sleep? Better stress management? Or more food?
“Any movement that you can do is going to benefit your body, whether or not it’s at the gym or structured exercise,” said Katie Heinrich, a professor of kinesiology at Kansas State University. “So maybe you’re in your gym clothes. You’re like, ‘Man, I just do not want to go to the gym.’ That’s fine. Just move. Put on a song you like to dance to. Or do 10 pushups, 10 situps, and 10 squats. Even just standing and moving is better than sitting.”
Having friends who support you in moving your body can be the deciding factor between getting some steps in for the day or crashing on the couch, according to Sami Yli-Piipari, a physical activity specialist at the University of Georgia. Making physical activity a group endeavor can foster a sense of community and make you feel like others are on your side — a powerful motivator. “Humans have a need to be autonomous. They have a need to be competent in what they are doing, but also they need to feel like a relationship is there,” he explained.
Plus, it’s harder to opt out of a pre-planned activity if friends or a trainer are waiting on you before class. Yli-Piipari also noted that less straightforward things, like scheduling an Uber in advance to pick you up for the gym, can help.
Our personal environments can promote or hinder our well-being — a complex reality influenced by someone’s various privileges and disadvantages — and it has a direct influence on how motivated we are to get something done. Taking your workout clothes to work, packing your gym bag the night before, laying out workout clothes in advance, or placing them on a chair you walk by frequently are just a few tips the experts I spoke to offered for building an environment that promotes movement.
It’s imperative to take stock of how you can fit bouts of movement into your day. Maybe it’s with a standing desk or walking around your room every hour. For others, scheduling physical activity in a digital calendar or planner the same way you’d note a doctor’s appointment is effective. For those of us who love crossing things off a list, writing down exercise as if it’s a task helps too.
But it’s also vital to be realistic about when it happens. If you’re not a morning person, don’t schedule morning workouts. If your evenings are spent wrangling family obligations or you want to go out with your friends, then maybe a lunch hour session is best. And if an hour block isn’t feasible, Heinrich suggests breaking it up into smaller chunks, which may work best for those with rigid or unpredictable schedules. Parents can also squeeze in workouts by joining their kids in running around on the playground, or doing a circuit as they’re watching their kids play. (A big selling point for at-home workouts is the fact that you can watch your children, take a meeting, or cook a meal in the oven during an exercise session.)
“Every minute of activity that you can do creates physiological and mental responses in your body,” she explained. “And typically, if someone is feeling exhausted, if you move your body, you will find that you feel better. And those aches and pains that you are starting to feel may just go away.”
Everyone I spoke with was clear that movement isn’t always the best solution to feeling blah. Perhaps the most important thing you can do is figure out the difference between needing to take a walk and needing to rest your body. Tiredness can occur for a number of reasons. Sometimes you’ve been looking at your screen for too long, and you need an activity break. Other times, you could need a nap. If the fatigue is overwhelming or persistent, your body could be signaling that there’s an underlying medical issue that needs to be addressed. And of course, if you’re experiencing a fever, pain, or an injury, that’s a clear indication that you need to focus on getting better.
But Brittany Brandt, the fitness and well-being coordinator for West Virginia University, said that if you just feel tired and want to skip that day’s physical activity, that’s okay too. Try not to beat yourself up over “breaking a streak,” and instead afford yourself some grace, she said. Throwing in a little something daily — whether it’s a walk around the block or a quick stretch before bed — will do your body much better than stressing out over not moving as you had planned for the day.
“People put themselves in a box sometimes of, ‘Oh, I have to work out Monday through Friday,’ or only on certain days, and if they get derailed, they say, ‘I’ll just try again on Monday,’” she said. “But there’s no stigma on that. You can move every day.”
Julia Craven is a writer covering anything she thinks is cool, and she’s the brain behind Make It Make Sense, a wellness newsletter.
Even Better is here to offer deeply sourced, actionable advice for helping you live a better life. Do you have a question on money and work; friends, family, and community; or personal growth and health? Send us your question by filling out this form. We might turn it into a story.
Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleeson re-team for Martin McDonagh’s riotous fable that’s about more than a friend breakup.
It doesn’t take a doctorate in Irish history — thank goodness, since I do not have one — to know that The Banshees of Inisherin is not merely a delightfully madcap tale of Irish zaniness. It is that, since writer and director Martin McDonagh (of In Bruges and Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri) is incapable of turning out a boring story. But there’s more to it than what’s on the surface.
The Banshees of Inisherin plays like a very funny fable or a folk tale, the story of two lifelong friends, Pádraic (Colin Farrell) and Colm (Brendan Gleeson). The two men live on a remote island off the Irish coast, which is sparsely populated by a collection of eccentrics who’ve known each other forever and are unlikely to ever leave. The only occupant with aspirations to get off the island is Pádraic’s sister Siobhán (Kerry Condon), who’s tired to death of everyone, especially the men, who are, as she says, “all feckin’ boring.”
Well, maybe not all boring. One day at the pub, their usual afternoon haunt, Pádraic discovers that Colm is no longer his friend. The reason for the break is elusive to Pádraic, and even a bit elusive to Colm, who just can’t deal with his friend anymore. But when Pádraic can’t accept Colm’s decision, Colm sets out to make his intentions clear in the most unhinged way possible.
McDonagh (Irish, but raised in London) is a playwright at heart and by trade, and he thrives in this sort of setup: a tightly controlled world of weirdos, a hothouse for quarrels and inside jokes and petty beefs and grudges held so long that people barely remember where they started. It makes for immensely entertaining storytelling, and he’s at his best in this distinctly Irish setting. Reuniting Gleeson and Farrell, whose odd-couple pairing rendered the gothic crime comedy of In Bruges so unforgettable, was the right choice. They’re fantastic in the roles, Gleeson as a world-weary grump and Farrell as a naif who seems to be missing a few screws.
But if you don’t detect what’s happening in the background of The Banshees of Inisherin, then it just plays as a weird tale told late at night over a few pints. The film really expands when you look into the background.
Because just across the way, across the water from Inisherin, there are explosions visible on the coast. The characters remark upon them occasionally, musing on the fighting that’s happening over there, a conflict they hope and believe will be over soon. No matter — it doesn’t touch them here on the island, where it’s Colm and Pádraic’s break that occupies everyone’s attention.
That fighting, presumably, is actually part of the Irish civil war. The film is set in 1923, at a time when that conflict had been raging for nearly a year. It’s part of the long history of strife and violence in Ireland, mostly having to do with vastly differing views on British rule of the island. The civil war commenced after the Irish War of Independence, which led to the establishment of Ireland as a free state that nonetheless would remain part of the British Commonwealth (more like Canada than Scotland, in other words). Some who had fought for independence with the Irish Republican Army supported the treaty that created the Free State; others fiercely opposed it, believing that Ireland ought to be wholly free from British involvement.
The result was a bloody war in which men who had fought on the same side now were fighting one another, lasting from June 1922 to May 1923. Watch The Banshees of Inisherin with this in mind, and you can start to see what McDonagh is doing. The break between Colm and Pádraic works on its own terms, but it’s also a startlingly violent fight between men who are basically brothers, a fight that has a logic to it and yet is heartbreaking precisely because of the depth of history between them. It’s the conflict in microcosm.
The “banshees” of the title (and of the song Colm is composing throughout) are significant, as well. They hail from Irish folklore: female spirits who shriek and wail and mourn, signaling that a family member will soon die. In The Banshees of Inisherin, there’s no literal banshee, but it’s clear that’s the role that Mrs. McCormick, the pipe-smoking old woman that Pádraic avoids like the plague, plays in the village. Her dark forebodings suggest death is on the horizon — literally, on the horizon they can see.
In the end, the characters muse that the conflict across the way seems to be subsiding, and it seems the conflict on Inisherin might be too, in the darkest of manners. But that dialogue is meant to take on a note of bitter irony — or perhaps the darkest of comedy, which are two sides of the same coin in Ireland. Because we know, 100 years later, that the conflict didn’t subside in Ireland, even if a tenuous peace held in the Republic. Plenty more fighting would transpire, much of it in Northern Ireland (now part of the United Kingdom), specifically during the Troubles, which lasted from the 1960s to the 1990s. Plenty more blood would be spilled, and conflicts would divide Irish society for generations.
Which is what provides The Banshees of Inisherin — undoubtedly a comedy, and often a very funny one — with its tragic backbone. Friend against friend, brother against brother, love lost and grudges cracking the fabric of society; it’s all contained in this little fable. And the banshee foretelling doom stands in the background, shrieking and mourning it all.
The Banshees of Inisherin opens in theaters on October 21.
More kids and adults are finding out that they can’t eat their favorite foods. Why?
Peanuts. Shellfish. Soy. Wheat. Tree nuts. Dairy. Eggs.
For millions of Americans, these ingredients are a recipe for an upset stomach, hives, swelling, or even a trip to the emergency room — all because of allergies to food.
Food allergies are becoming increasingly common, in children and in adults. Yet it’s surprisingly difficult to get a handle on even the basics. The United States Department of Agriculture estimates about 2 percent of adults and 4 to 8 percent of children suffer from food allergies, but some scientists think the number is as high as 10 percent across the board, around 33 million people in the US. Some have even described food allergies as an epidemic.
It adds up to a tremendous burden across the health system and the economy. Allergies can be dangerous but are rarely lethal. About 150 to 200 people die per year in the US from food-related allergies. However, allergies lead to 30,000 emergency room visits and 2,000 hospitalizations annually. Even for people who avoid serious reactions, their food allergies can take a toll. They may have to say no to a favorite dinner for fear of contamination, or struggle with the anxiety that they have to trust their lives to strangers at restaurants. Managing allergies can get expensive, too. Between doctor visits, hospitalizations, medicines, caregiving, lost productivity, and specialized meals, food allergies cost the US economy close to $25 billion per year.
All this adds immense urgency to perhaps the biggest mystery of food allergies: Why are they on the rise? Why are more babies and kids reacting badly to cookies, ice cream, cake, and milk? Why are more adults discovering that they can’t eat a lobster roll anymore?
“Certainly the word ‘unexplainable’ fits here,” said Alkis Togias, branch chief for allergies at the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases.
This week’s episode of Unexplainable, Vox’s podcast about unsolved mysteries in science, examines the drivers of food allergies and how doctors are working to treat them, even if they don’t know what’s behind them.
It turns out that some of the trappings of the modern world may have had some unintended consequences, and some well-intentioned guidance on how we should eat may have been completely wrong.
Lots of things get lumped in as allergies, but scientists have a strict definition: Allergies are an overreaction of the immune system involving an antibody called immunoglobulin E (IgE). This is a protein that’s produced to help the immune system identify and counteract invaders. When IgE finds a threat, it triggers the production of a hormone called histamine, which causes blood vessels to dilate, tissues to inflame, skin to itch, and the airways to wheeze, cough, or sneeze — all in the hope of getting the threat away from the body.
This mechanism evolved to help our bodies cope with parasites and venom. But occasionally, something benign like pollen or peanut proteins can set off the alarms. The immune system might have been trained wrong, or an allergen may have a structure in common with something that is a threat.
Most often, allergies are a nuisance, but they can sometimes ramp up the immune system to dangerously high levels. Blood vessels dilate so wide that they cause a major drop in blood pressure while inflammation forces airways to swell shut, a life-threatening condition known as anaphylaxis. For people with severe allergies, this reaction can turn deadly in minutes.
Many things can cause allergies, but food allergies are particularly concerning. After all, people have to eat every day. They’re also confounding because allergies aren’t the only type of bad reactions people have to food. Being lactose intolerant is not the same thing as having a milk allergy, for example. The former involves the digestive system, while the latter is a function of the immune system, and thus they require different treatments.
So when someone feels sick after eating something, allergies aren’t the only suspect. In recent years, doctors have improved their ability to sort out these problems, which explains some of the rise in allergies.
“There is a little bit of an effect of better epidemiology and better diagnostics here, no question about that, but there’s also no question that a real increase has occurred,” Togias said.
That means there must be some other mechanism that is making increasing numbers of people unable to eat their favorite meals and snacks.
So why are food allergy rates going up? There are a few ideas, and they aren’t exclusive. No single theory explains everything, and there are likely several factors at work. And because we’re talking about a trend over years and decades across entire countries, it takes time to figure out exactly what’s at play.
Here are what scientists are thinking most about when it comes to food allergies:
As sanitation and cleanliness have improved, food allergy rates have increased. The thinking is that with fewer germs and parasites to counteract, the immune system starts to turn against harmless things like allergens. But not every germ is equally important in this regard. There are specific benign, even helpful, microorganisms that evolved alongside humans and may play a crucial role in regulating the immune system: the so-called “old friends.” As people spend more time in highly sanitized environments, they are less likely to meet their old friends.
Circumstantial evidence for this is apparent around the world. Wealthy countries have some of the highest rates of allergies. Developing countries are seeing allergy rates rise as their standards of living improve. In China, food allergy rates rose from 5 percent in the decade between 1999 and 2008 to 8 percent between 2009 and 2018. People who emigrate from poorer countries with low allergy rates to wealthier countries see their allergy rates go up, and their children soon experience allergies as frequently as native residents. Allergy rates are higher in urban areas than in rural regions where people spend more time with nature.
But the hygiene hypothesis doesn’t explain everything we see with allergies. Sanitation has been improving for centuries, but allergies have spiked in the past couple of decades. Within wealthy countries, it’s minorities and lower-income residents who have the highest rate of food allergies.
Some researchers now object to the term “hygiene hypothesis” because it doesn’t capture all these nuances and makes it seem like being dirtier is the solution to allergies. It’s not, so keep washing your hands and don’t go out licking subway poles.
Babies have malleable immune systems, and the first months of life are critical for calibrating an immune system’s response to threats. That time period is particularly important for infants who have a family history of food allergies or a risk factor for developing them, such as eczema.
“Our guidelines suggested initially that kids should avoid food allergens early in life,” said Douglas Mack, an assistant clinical professor of pediatrics at McMaster University. But this thinking may have been wrong, and it may have even backfired. It could explain why allergy rates have risen so much in the past 30 years compared to the decades prior.
A seminal 2015 study called LEAP (Learning Early About Peanut) randomized 640 infants with allergy risk factors to either consume or avoid peanut products. It found that by 5 years old, the babies who avoided peanuts had a peanut allergy rate of 13.7 percent while those that didn’t had a rate of 1.9 percent. Exposure to peanut proteins early in life actually reduced allergy rates.
Conversely, telling parents to avoid food allergens for their babies may have made things worse.
It’s not clear why, but it may relate to another idea sometimes called the dual exposure hypothesis. Food allergens can be introduced through the digestive system, but also through the skin, particularly in babies that have eczema. Allergen exposure through the skin seems to sensitize people, but through the gut, it appears to tamp down allergic responses. So even if a baby isn’t eating peanuts, soy, or eggs, the baby may still be exposed in the home through the skin, tilting the balance toward an allergy.
“I think we have to take some of the blame as clinicians,” Mack said.
Health officials in many countries now say that babies should be slowly exposed to potential allergens under the guidance of a pediatrician. According to the USDA’s updated dietary guidelines, “There is no evidence that delaying introduction of allergenic foods, beyond when other complementary foods are introduced, helps to prevent food allergy.”
It does appear that some people are more inherently susceptible to developing allergies than others. However, the genetic roots of allergies are complicated, as nearly 100 genes are known to be involved. Among twins where at least one in the pair is allergic, 64 percent of identical twins — twins that have the same genetics — shared a peanut allergy, while just 7 percent of fraternal twins had an allergy in common.
Genetic susceptibility may also explain why the rates of some types of allergies are leveling off in wealthy countries.
“What we think is happening is that there is a plateau we’re reaching now,” Togias said. “Perhaps this plateau is a genetic limit.”
Like other explanations, genetics don’t explain everything about allergies, but they could shed more light on other ways to prevent allergies, according to Togias.
The human body produces vitamin D with exposure to sunlight, though you can also get it through your diet. Vitamin D plays an important role in regulating the immune system, and as vitamin D levels have declined across populations, food allergy rates have gone up.
People in wealthy countries that spend more time indoors have higher food allergy rates than those spending more time outside. Countries that are further from the equator have higher allergy rates than those along the planet’s sunny middle.
This is a less-studied explanation than the other theories, and researchers are trying to figure out whether vitamin D supplements could play a role in reducing allergy rates.
Many of these other theories get at the rise of foodborne allergies in children, but say little about adult-onset allergies, which are even harder to study. Stories abound of people finding out the hard way that they can no longer eat their favorite foods, but adults often don’t bother to get an official allergy diagnosis, which means that other types of food sensitivities can get lumped in.
As for why adults can suddenly develop allergies, there are a couple of explanations. One is that the immune system itself goes through an aging process. With time, it does a poorer job of regulating itself. So an adult might become sensitized to an allergen over time.
Allergies in adults might also arise from immunological stresses like “a strong infection that somehow affected the immune system and sent a message for the immune system to start developing IgE antibodies where it did not before,” according to Togias.
Even though scientists are still grappling with why food allergy rates have shot up, the good news is that it’s easier than ever to live with them. The first order is to figure out whether you actually have an allergy. The gold standard is a test known as a food challenge, where you eat the suspicious shrimp, peanut butter, or omelet under medical supervision. There are also skin tests. Figuring out the mechanism can help you suss out whether you need to avoid the food completely or if you can manage it with treatment.
In terms of preventing exposure, more foods carry allergy warnings and more restaurants are aware of allergy risks, but it can still be dicey. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, half of fatal food allergic reactions came from restaurants and food service.
For severe reactions, tools like an epinephrine injector, commonly known as an EpiPen, can stem anaphylaxis. If you see someone having a severe allergic reaction and they have an EpiPen, remember: blue to the sky, orange to the thigh. More than 3 million Americans keep these emergency injectors close by, but one manufacturer, Mylan, has in recent years jacked up the price more than 400 percent.
As for ongoing treatments, there are drugs that can mitigate mild allergy symptoms. There is also immunotherapy, where a patient is gradually exposed to increasing doses of an allergen over time under medical supervision.
Right now, there is no known way to reliably “cure” an allergy, but scientists have some leads. One hot area of research is the pool of microorganisms that live on the skin, in the lungs, and in the gut, what’s known as the microbiome. This appears to be a critical element in all allergies, not just food allergies, according to Togias. By figuring out how the microbiome interacts with allergies, scientists hope to cultivate a way to reduce food allergy severity over the long term.
Caracas, Armory and Beldona please -
Flying Visit shines -
HERO ISL 22-23 | Hyderabad FC will draw confidence from its win over NEUFC as it takes on Bengaluru FC - Both teams have four points each after two rounds of matches in the Indian Super League season 9
Major changes in FIH Pro League format -
India Khelo Football hosts Premier League Scouts in India via ProSoccer Global's Workshop - Selected kids with exceptional talent will avail 100 percent scholarship at Steven Gerard Academy in Liverpool
Junior doctors serve strike notice demanding hike in stipend - APJUDA of 11 medical colleges will participate in strike from October 26, if the demands were not solved, says doctors
Excise steps up vigil to bust hooch dens in Kozhikode - Over 1,000 litres of wash, secretly kept for crude distillation process, destroyed in a week
Helping indie filmmakers expand their footprint - Kozhikode-based Minimal Cinema has taken up video-on-demand distribution of nearly 20 works, including feature films and documentaries, which are available on ‘rent’ or ‘buy’ options
EC stops sheep distribution -
Lack of maintenance, incessant rains a threat to heritage buildings in Mysuru - INTACH Mysuru wants immeditae intervention in case of 25 heritage buildings
Italy Meloni: Far-right leader poised to govern despite Putin row - Giorgia Meloni could soon be sworn in as PM despite a row over an ally’s pro-Putin remarks.
Ukraine war: Zelensky accuses Russia of plot to blow up dam - Ukraine’s leader warns of a “large-scale disaster” if Russia targets the Kakhovka hydroelectric plant.
Ukraine war: Iranian drone experts ‘on the ground’ in Crimea - US - Tehran has experts on the ground in Crimea helping with drone attacks on Ukraine, the White House says.
Ukraine war: Growing Russia-Iran ties pose new dangers - The conflict has driven them closer together in a way which could impact the world beyond Ukraine.
Ukrainians told to ‘charge everything’ as power grid hit by Russia - As Russian attacks on Ukraine’s energy plants intensify, people are told to prepare for blackouts.
Google Play apps with >20M downloads depleted batteries and network bandwidth - Google removes 16 apps after receiving a report the apps were committing ad fraud. - link
Everything we know about the White House’s IoT security labeling effort - Featuring the Solarium Commission, Carnegie Mellon, and a Singapore conference. - link
Part of lost star catalog of Hipparchus found lurking under medieval codex - Multispectral imaging revealed hidden original text on Codex Climaci Rescriptus. - link
Rare tropical fungus randomly blooms in the palm of a US teen’s hand - The alarming fungal growth looks a lot like cancer but is harmless and easy to treat. - link
US court rules, once again, that AI software can’t be listed as inventor on a patent - Stephen Thaler’s quest for legal recognition of AI authorship hits another roadblock. - link
Why didn’t the ghost like to take showers?
Because it would dampen his spirits.
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It is also the most expensive car in the world, and it costs him $1.5M. He takes it out for a spin and stops at a red light.
An old man on a moped, looking about 90 years old, pulls up next to him.
The old man looks over at the sleek shiny car and asks, “What kind of car ya got there, sonny?”
The dentist replies, “A Bugatti Chiron. It cost one and a half a million dollars!”
“That’s a lot of money,” says the old man. “Why does it cost so much?”
“Because this car can do up to 250 miles an hour!” states the dentist proudly.
The moped driver asks, “Mind if I take a look inside?”
“No problem,” replies the dentist.
So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around.
Then, sitting back on his moped, the old man says, “That’s a pretty nice car, all right, but I’ll stick with my moped!”
Just then the light changes, so the dentist decides to show the old man just what his car can do.
He floors it, and within 30 seconds, the speedometer reads 150 mph.
Suddenly, he notices a dot in his rear view mirror – what it could be…and suddenly…
WHHHOOOOOOSSSSSHHH!
Something whips by him going much faster!
“What on earth could be going faster than my Bugatti?” the dentist asks himself.
He floors the accelerator and takes the Bugatti up to 175 mph.
Then, up ahead of him, he sees that it’s the old man on the moped!
Amazed that the moped could pass his Bugatti, he gives it more gas and passes the moped at 210 mph.
WHOOOOOOOSHHHHH!
He’s feeling pretty good until he looks in his mirror and sees the old man gaining on him AGAIN!
Astounded by the speed of his old guy, he floors the gas pedal and takes the Bugatti all the way up to 250 mph.
Not ten seconds later, he sees the moped bearing down on him again!
The Bugatti is flat out, and there’s nothing he can do!
Suddenly, the moped plows into the back of his Bugatti, demolishing the rear end.
The dentist stops and jumps out and , unbelievably, the old man is still alive.
He runs up to the mangled old man and says, “Oh my gosh! Is there anything I can do for you?”
The old man whispers, “Unhook my suspenders from your side mirror.”
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“When I was your age”, he continued, “my buddies and I went to Paris; we went to the Moulin Rouge and I fucked a dancer on stage, we didn’t pay for our drinks all night and when the bartender complained we pissed on him”
The grandson thinks his grandfather is right. He goes to Paris and the Moulin Rouge with his friends. He comes back three days later with a broken arm and covered in bruises.
The grandfather asks “What the hell happened to you?”
The grandson says “I did just like you did. I went to the Moulin Rouge with my friends; I tried to fuck a dancer on stage and piss on the bartender - but they beat the shit out of me and stole all the cash in my wallet!”
The grandfather asks “Well who the hell did you go with boy?”
The grandson says “My friends from school, who did you go with?”
The grandfather says “Well… the 2nd SS Panzer Division”
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The record number of 15 prime ministers during her reign.
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St. Peter sadly shakes his head and tells him that because of his non-belief, he must be sent to Hell. The Devil greets him there and shows him where he will now spend eternity, a lovely cozy cottage set on a beautiful hillside where the sweet smell of flowers fills the air. The Devil tells him he will want for nothing and to feel free to walk the grounds. One day, while he is out strolling through the idyllic gardens, he comes across a tall wall. Curious, he climbs one of the many trees and peering over the wall, is shocked to see a fire-filled field with people writhing in agony and screaming hopelessly. He is very disturbed by this sight and returns home. The next day, the Devil pays him a visit and asks how he is enjoying eternity. The atheist says he finds Hell to be a lovely place but is concerned about the things he saw on the other side of the wall. “Oh” the Devil says, “those are Christian sinners” “But why” the man asks, “are they suffering so much while I, who didn’t believe in God at all, am here in such comfort?” “I don’t know” the Devil replies shrugging," that’s the way they want it."
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