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Neighborhood associations, religious and spiritual groups, and charitable organizations typically hold frequent meetings you can attend to learn about the group’s mission, meet others, and volunteer at future events. Knowing what your values are is crucial to finding a community where you truly fit, Poswolsky says, and that can take work and soul-searching. If you’re not religious but have strong political views, joining a political organization can help you find a community where you and others are working to promote change that aligns with your collective values.

While it’s easier to join an already established group, you could also start one yourself based on your interests. If you want to build a community around hiking, for example, McMillan suggests posting online (say in a neighborhood Facebook group or retirement community portal) mentioning you’ll be hiking in a nearby park on Saturday if anyone would like to join. Others looking to make connections and get outside may take you up on the offer. Start small: Your budding community doesn’t have to be hundreds deep. “Real nurturing community starts in small groups,” McMillan says. “It doesn’t start with 100 people, it happens with a few. Finding those people and cultivating their interests and your interests … that’s harder in a big group.” And don’t panic if the first people who show up differ from you in terms of age, background, or ability. Part of the beauty of community is its ability to draw people from varying stages of life who can help open your eyes to new points of view and wisdom.

Make it a habit

To forge a true connection with the group — and vice versa — you’ll need to continually show up and add value. “You’ll develop closeness more quickly if you have that regularity and you don’t have to agonize over scheduling,” Vellos says. Immediately add the next meeting date to your calendar and make it a point to consistently attend. Coming early with a snack or staying late to stack the chairs shows you’re invested in the community.

Humans have more positive feelings toward familiar people, so seeing the same people on a repeated basis helps you both ingratiate with an already established group and with people you see regularly in your day-to-day life. Even if you don’t interact with the baristas or other patrons at your neighborhood coffee shop, there is an unspoken sense of camaraderie. “You can feel like you know someone even if you’ve never talked to them if you’ve seen them enough times,” Sandstrom says. Focusing on your already established routines and the people you encounter while doing them — like walking the dog — can be the basis for community. “If you go at the same time to the same place, you’re going to see the same people over and over again,” Sandstrom says. Even learning the names of fellow dog walkers and striking up a casual conversation can be enough to improve your mood.

Put energy into others

Because communities are made up of lots of people with varying opinions and life experiences, being an active member means regularly interacting with others in the group. But don’t expect other members to immediately support you in your endeavors, want to do you a favor, or even engage in conversation with you. Forging these connections takes time and effort, and you risk rejection, McMillan notes — but to fully integrate into a community, you can’t be a wallflower. “It’s my job to put energy into other people and not just wait for them to put energy into me,” he says.

When Sandstrom joined a community orchestra, she made a point of talking to a different person each time the group took a break in order to ease her way into the group. She’s also a fan of eavesdropping. “It’s okay to admit that you overheard people talking,” she says. If you catch a few people at yoga class discussing your favorite podcast, take that as an opportunity to jump into the conversation and meet a few people in the process.

Poswolsky suggests identifying one or two community members you’re interested in getting to know better and asking if they’d like to have coffee. “Those simple gestures of reaching out create intention, they put out what you’re looking for, and they don’t overwhelm you,” he says. “Suddenly, other people are going to be inviting you to things because you’re saying, ‘I’m going to take the time to have a conversation with someone.’”

But don’t exhaust yourself

You don’t need to join a dozen clubs or societies or introduce yourself to every neighbor on the block to have a community. Consider the time you’re able to commit and how much energy you’re able to bring to each meeting. Maybe becoming the organizer of a weekly canoeing group is too great a responsibility, but a monthly movie club where you can sit back and watch and discuss films is more your speed.

Each new person you meet at your local mutual aid organization might not blossom into a deep friendship — and that’s okay. The goal of community building isn’t necessarily to make new friends (though that definitely can happen), but to build a network. The people who are a part of that network can remain acquaintances, Sandstrom says.

This is Sam Zeff’s approach as he considers his community- building plan in California: focusing his energy toward worthy people and causes. The rest will come naturally. “I’m not married to having to be everyone’s friend,” he says. “I’m going to be intentional with my time and make sure that the people that I am investing my time with are the individuals that I see as part of my future who can not only help me grow, but people who are willing to be helped as well.”

Two women, both on an escalator, look at one another. Film Movement
Fusako Urabe and Aoba Kawai in Wheel of Fortune and Fantasy.

Hamaguchi’s films often feature characters locked into long, surprising conversations, where motivations and feelings lie buried beneath placid surfaces. But listening to them, we’re kept guessing, wondering what’s really going on in their hearts. Then their tales take unexpected left turns, and the result, for those of us paying attention, is the catharsis that comes with a good story.

I’ve said that I like Wheel of Fortune and Fantasy a little more than Drive My Car. On repeat watchings, though, I’ve come to believe that they’re both brilliant in their own way, showing Hamaguchi’s unusually deft touch with lengthy tales as well as shorter ones. For those who haven’t yet watched Drive My Car, Wheel of Fortune and Fantasy acts like an accessible introduction to a master’s work. But even if you have seen the longer film — or if you just want to dive into three engrossing stories that leave you wanting more — Wheel of Fortune and Fantasy is a brilliant, beautiful, deceptive meditation on the forces that move us all.

Wheel of Fortune and Fantasy is available to rent or purchase on digital platforms. For more recommendations from the world of culture, check out the One Good Thing archives.

Bill Brunner, vice president and general manager at Paramus Chevrolet in New Jersey, told me that right now he has about 80 cars on his lot compared to what used to be 300, 400, or even 600 vehicles available. The scenario has created what he describes as a “balancing act” on pricing. “Our prices have definitely adjusted based on availability,” he said. “Having said that, we still need to be conscious of our customer base.” He knows some people have a budget. He also wants customers to come back next time their lease is up or they want to buy a new car.

Brunner said he’s starting to see some vehicles come through with more volume now, which will allow his dealership to be more competitive with the pricing. But it all really just depends on what they have. “There were some vehicles that we made better gross profits on than we would have if we had 100 of them in stock. It’s just supply and demand. If we had two of a particular model instead of 100, our pricing structure is different. It’s just the way it is,” he said. Brunner also noted the pandemic has been tough on dealerships, as it has been on a lot of businesses.

Still, some auto manufacturers aren’t loving the situation and have told dealers to knock it off on some egregious price hikes out of concern it will hurt their brands. (A lot of people don’t realize it’s the dealer that ultimately sets the price, not, say, GM or Ford.) Traditional auto manufacturers are also dealing with competition from companies such as Tesla, which sell direct to consumers. Plus, a number of car companies are launching electric vehicle products that they hope will expand their customer base, and many of those vehicles already come with long wait times.

“You figure somebody’s trying out your brand for the first time and it’s an EV product, you don’t want to ruin that relationship by saying, one, you’re going to wait, and two, you might pay more than you expected,” Drury said.

In a February earnings call, Ford CEO Jim Farley said that the automaker believes 10 percent of its dealers over the last year had charged above-MSRP prices and warned that “future allocation” of their models would be impacted by those policies, meaning the dealers in question might not be getting their most popular cars. The Wall Street Journal reported that GM also told dealers in a letter it might take action against a “small minority of bad actors” selling and leasing far above sticker price.

The Wall Street Journal has also reported that Toyota and Honda have talked to individual dealers about charging above MSRP, too. Jack Hollis, Toyota Motor North America’s senior vice president of auto operations, told the publication he thinks dealers thinking only about the short term are making a mistake. “If that customer experience is great during this time, they’ll be with you,” he said. The Journal noted that many dealers aren’t happy with the practice, either, because they worry it could damage the entire sector’s reputation.

To be sure, dealer markups are not the only thing contributing to price increases. “A whole slew of things” are making cars more expensive, said Stephanie Brinley, principal automotive analyst at IHS Markit. The pandemic has tossed the car industry into chaos over the past couple of years. Semiconductor shortages and supply chain woes have caused major setbacks in production, and the costs of making and moving the cars have gone up as well. Brinley pointed out that many consumers also want more, costlier features, which drives prices, too. “It’s a combination of trying to maintain margin and keep profitability up, but it can’t be done if consumers don’t want it,” she said.

Many of the vehicles with the highest markups are ones that are already pricey to begin with. “If you have $50,000 to spend on a car, how bad can someone feel for you when they can’t afford a $15,000 used car?” Drury said. “I don’t feel bad for certain people when they can bid up the price.”

Brinley pointed out it’s pretty easy to figure out what manufacturers suggest the price should be on a new car — the information is readily available on the internet. If you’re in the market for one, she suggests looking it up and then going from there. “Figure out what you’re willing to pay, and if you’ve got a dealership that is charging more than you might be willing to pay, you might not get a car in the next two hours, it might be a bit more complicated, but move on,” she said.

In the current landscape, you might have to be in “move on” mode for a while.

We live in a world that’s constantly trying to sucker us and trick us, where we’re always surrounded by scams big and small. It can feel impossible to navigate. Every two weeks, join Emily Stewart to look at all the little ways our economic systems control and manipulate the average person. Welcome to The Big Squeeze.

Have ideas for a future column? Email emily.stewart@vox.com.

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