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<title>07 December, 2020</title>
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<title>Daily-Dose</title><meta content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0" name="viewport"/><link href="styles/simple.css" rel="stylesheet"/><link href="../styles/simple.css" rel="stylesheet"/><style>*{overflow-x:hidden;}</style><link href="https://unpkg.com/aos@2.3.1/dist/aos.css" rel="stylesheet"/><script src="https://unpkg.com/aos@2.3.1/dist/aos.js"></script></head>
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<body>
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<h1 data-aos="fade-down" id="daily-dose">Daily-Dose</h1>
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<h1 data-aos="fade-right" data-aos-anchor-placement="top-bottom" id="contents">Contents</h1>
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<ul>
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<li><a href="#from-new-yorker">From New Yorker</a></li>
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<li><a href="#from-vox">From Vox</a></li>
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<li><a href="#from-the-hindu-sports">From The Hindu: Sports</a></li>
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<li><a href="#from-the-hindu-national-news">From The Hindu: National News</a></li>
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<li><a href="#from-bbc-europe">From BBC: Europe</a></li>
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<li><a href="#from-ars-technica">From Ars Technica</a></li>
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<li><a href="#from-jokes-subreddit">From Jokes Subreddit</a></li>
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</ul>
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<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-new-yorker">From New Yorker</h1>
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<ul>
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<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>The President Is Acting Crazy, so Why Are We Shrugging It Off?</strong> - The dangerous “yeah, whatever” phase of Trump’s lame-duck Presidency. - <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/news/letter-from-trumps-washington/the-president-is-acting-crazy-so-why-are-we-shrugging-it-off">link</a></p></li>
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<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>How the Fight Against COVID-19 Is Bringing About a Perilous Rise in Preventable Diseases in Poorer Nations</strong> - For many of the world’s poorest children, the death and devastation have only begun. - <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/news/daily-comment/how-the-fight-against-covid-19-is-bringing-about-a-perilous-rise-in-preventable-diseases-in-poorer-nations">link</a></p></li>
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<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>How Joe Biden Could Help Internet Companies Moderate Harmful Content</strong> - Liberals and conservatives have found fault with Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act—but for very different reasons. - <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/tech/annals-of-technology/how-joe-biden-could-help-internet-companies-moderate-harmful-content">link</a></p></li>
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<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Congress Must Act Now to Provide an Economic Bridge to the Coronavirus Vaccine</strong> - Unprecedented legislative action this past spring helped to stave off a Great Depression-style coronavirus downturn. The House and Senate need to act again. - <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/news/our-columnists/congress-must-act-now-to-provide-an-economic-bridge-to-the-coronavirus-vaccine">link</a></p></li>
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<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>William Barr’s Break with Donald Trump</strong> - The Attorney General is, at long last, defending American democracy. - <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/news/daily-comment/william-barrs-break-with-donald-trump">link</a></p></li>
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</ul>
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<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-vox">From Vox</h1>
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<li><strong>Rudy Giuliani is the latest Trump associate to get the coronavirus</strong> -
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<img alt="Giuliani, in tortoise shell glasses, a navy suit, white shirt, and red and blue tie, sits with his chin on his chest. He appears to be frowning slightly, as if deep in thought. A number of blurred figures are behind him." src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/64y9zaVl8RMOgduR3O1304bl_iU=/349x0:5077x3546/1310x983/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/68467503/GettyImages_1229918044.0.jpg"/>
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<figcaption>
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President Trump’s personal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, prepares to testify before the Michigan House Oversight Committee on December 2. | Rey Del Rio/Getty Images
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</figcaption>
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</figure>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
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He’s one of more than a dozen in Trump’s orbit to contract the coronavirus since October.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="1607283575.030400">
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President Donald Trump announced on Twitter Sunday afternoon that his personal lawyer, Rudy Giuliani, has tested positive for the coronavirus.
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="RzJuFf">
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Giuliani “has tested positive for the China Virus,” <a href="https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1335679426516881409">Trump tweeted</a>, using the racist term he habitually uses for the coronavirus. “Get better soon Rudy, we will carry on!!!”
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<div id="fn7LnN">
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<blockquote class="twitter-tweet">
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.<a href="https://twitter.com/RudyGiuliani?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw"><span class="citation" data-cites="RudyGiuliani">@RudyGiuliani</span></a>, by far the greatest mayor in the history of NYC, and who has been working tirelessly exposing the most corrupt election (by far!) in the history of the USA, has tested positive for the China Virus. Get better soon Rudy, we will carry on!!!
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</p>
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— Donald J. Trump (<span class="citation" data-cites="realDonaldTrump">@realDonaldTrump</span>) <a href="https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1335679426516881409?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw">December 6, 2020</a>
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</blockquote></div></li>
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</ul>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="Le11R9">
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Giuliani’s positive test <a href="https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/528965-giuliani-has-tested-positive-for-coronavirus-trump-says">comes roughly two weeks after his son</a> tested positive. It’s unclear how and when Giuliani contracted the virus.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="5hwDoo">
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Giuliani has been traveling constantly across the country in recent weeks, leading Trump’s <a href="https://www.vox.com/2020/12/5/22155858/georgia-election-lawsuit-trump-recount">failing legal efforts</a> to contest the results of the 2020 presidential election, and has been in Michigan, Pennsylvania, and Arizona — all states with high virus case numbers — <a href="https://thehill.com/homenews/administration/528965-giuliani-has-tested-positive-for-coronavirus-trump-says">in the past two weeks</a>. He has been in contact with members of Trump’s legal team in recent days, as well as witnesses incorrectly alleging voting improprieties, and Michigan lawmakers.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="3GEIyP">
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On Wednesday, he <a href="https://www.vox.com/2020/12/3/22150194/trump-rudy-giuliani-michigan-results-election-fraud-voter-suppression-detroit-melissa-carone">participated in testimony</a> falsely claiming that votes were illegally cast in Michigan in an indoor, largely maskless session before Michigan’s House Oversight Committee. Depending on when Giuliani was infected, those in attendance may be at risk of exposure.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="pRxypn">
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The president did not say on Sunday whether Giuliani is symptomatic, or if he plans to isolate to avoid infecting others with Covid-19. At 76 years old, and identifying as male, he is in a <a href="https://www.vox.com/2020/10/2/21498328/trump-covid-19-risk-factors">group considered to be at greater risk for complications</a> and more negative outcomes of the disease.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="OD3WUN">
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Giuliani is the latest of many figures and staffers in the president’s orbit to contract the coronavirus, including Trump himself, much of the president’s family, his chief of staff, multiple senior advisers, and the White House press secretary. All together, <a href="https://www.npr.org/2020/12/06/943683988/rudy-giuliani-tests-positive-for-coronavirus-trump-says?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=twitter">more than a dozen</a> people in the president’s personal orbit have tested positive since October.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="bAWDQI">
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Some of this spread has been attributed to the fact that Trump’s inner circle has routinely declined to wear masks and abide by social distancing protocols. For instance, the president has held a number of large, maskless indoor events — including a <a href="https://www.vox.com/coronavirus-covid19/21499923/trump-coronavirus-white-house-covid-superspreading-pandemic-amy-coney-barrett">party celebrating Supreme Court Justice Amy Coney Barrett</a>. That party was <a href="https://www.vox.com/21509422/donald-trump-coronavirus-rally-event-risk">labeled a “super spreader” event</a> by top federal infectious disease expert and national coronavirus task force member Dr. Anthony Fauci.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="Tarbfp">
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Giuliani has participated in a number of these sorts of high-risk events, from the hearing on Wednesday to a <a href="https://nymag.com/intelligencer/2020/10/giuliani-threw-a-super-spreader-for-trump-in-philadelphia.html">rally the former mayor held for Trump</a> ahead of the election. Like many on the president’s team, Giuliani has not shown strong support for precautions like mask wearing; in October, Giuliani <a href="https://www.thedailybeast.com/rudy-giuliani-coughs-through-attack-on-bidens-mask-advocacy">criticized</a> President-elect Joe Biden for his mask-wearing habit, and said that his use of them was meant to induce fear.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="Cis0t5">
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“It isn’t science to be wearing that mask, Joe, when you are giving a speech and people are 30-40 feet away from you,” Giuliani <a href="https://www.thedailybeast.com/rudy-giuliani-coughs-through-attack-on-bidens-mask-advocacy">said</a> during an interview with Fox News. “The only thing you can infect is the teleprompter that’s near you. So, I see through you. That’s a political statement to scare people, wearing that mask. You do not need that mask when you are standing at a podium.”
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</p>
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<ul>
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<li><strong>Report: Microwave weapons may be behind mysterious illness afflicting US officials abroad</strong> -
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<figure>
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<img alt="A tan building with tall rectangular windows can be seen behind a black wrought iron gate. Above a series of gray metal doors are the words “Embassy of the United States of America.”" src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/ZlU92-qwVDZo8xYH-bE_w7V9iPI=/258x0:3363x2329/1310x983/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/68467170/GettyImages_857224236.0.jpg"/>
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<figcaption>
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The US embassy in Havana, Cuba, in 2017. | Yamil Lage/AFP/Getty Images
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</figcaption>
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</figure>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
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Experts offer more clarity on what might be behind “Havana syndrome” symptoms.
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="sZNONs">
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A <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/05/business/economy/havana-syndrome-microwave-attack.html?referringSource=articleShare">new report</a> from the National Academy of Sciences has found “directed” radio frequency energy to be the most plausible explanation for mysterious and debilitating neurological symptoms experienced by dozens of American diplomats and intelligence operatives in Cuba, China, and other countries <a href="https://www.vox.com/world/2017/8/28/16192878/cuba-sonic-weapon-attack-american-diplomats">starting in late 2016</a>.
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="JKEQlb">
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The State Department-commissioned report, reviewed by a number of journalists — including at <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/news/all/havana-syndrome-likely-caused-microwave-energy-government-study-finds-n1250094">NBC News</a> and the <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/05/business/economy/havana-syndrome-microwave-attack.html?referringSource=articleShare">New York Times</a> — does not come to firm conclusions about the origins and nature of the affliction often referred to as “Havana syndrome,” but its account gives weight to theories that the illnesses are the results of deliberate attacks — which some members of the intelligence community suspect may have been carried out by Russia.
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="edCt1Y">
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The symptoms suffered by those afflicted with Havana syndrome vary, but in reported cases, many experienced nausea, headaches, dizziness, and loss of hearing. These maladies were sometimes so severe and long-lasting that they caused officials to retire early.
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="KyJPTM">
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As the New York Times <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/05/business/economy/havana-syndrome-microwave-attack.html?referringSource=articleShare">explains</a>, the language of the report suggests an intentional attack was behind the strange symptoms, and that they were caused by radio frequency energy — a kind of radiation that includes microwaves — since it describes the attacks as “directed” and “pulsed.” However, the report stated that the National Academy of Sciences “cannot rule out other possible mechanisms and considers it likely that a multiplicity of factors explains some cases and the differences between others.”
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="easLLf">
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The report concludes that “the larger issue is preparedness for new and unknown threats that might compromise the health and safety of U.S. diplomats serving abroad,” and notes that future instances may be “even more difficult to recognize quickly,” at least in part because attacks could be spaced farther apart, or used in a more targeted manner.
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="cOavOP">
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“These injuries have tormented those afflicted. Their illnesses and suffering are real and demand action from Congress,” <a href="https://twitter.com/SenatorShaheen/status/1335280273316048899">tweeted</a> Sen. Jeanne Shaheen (D-NH), who led successful calls to have the full report given to Congress for review. “To start, the Senate Foreign Relations Committee should hold a hearing on this ASAP so we can hear from Secretary [of State Mike] Pompeo directly about what is being done to uncover the source of these attacks and protect our public servants.”
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</p>
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<h3 id="pc0Crs">
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Speculation about Havana syndrome has been ongoing for years
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</h3>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="Sv06iz">
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Beginning in Cuba in November 2016, over a dozen American diplomats <a href="https://www.vox.com/world/2017/8/28/16192878/cuba-sonic-weapon-attack-american-diplomats">reported feeling ill </a>with mysterious and severe symptoms like loss of hearing and loss of balance. Shortly thereafter, experts began to speculate that they may have been attacked by a sonic weapon wielded by Cuban intelligence.
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="czsfp3">
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Similar sets of symptoms also surfaced in other places. Americans at the US Consulate in Guangzhou, China, developed symptoms of Havana syndrome in 2017. As <a href="https://www.gq.com/story/cia-investigation-and-russian-microwave-attacks">GQ</a> and <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/19/us/politics/diplomat-attacks-havana-syndrome.html">the New York Times</a> have reported, in the last year, a number of new incidents have been reported by CIA officers in Europe and Asia.
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="wsQ0Xk">
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The timeline of the incidents, the plausible explanation of microwave weapons, and the specific locations in which they occurred have raised questions of whether Russia is behind them.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="SZwPXW">
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In 2018, US intelligence officials <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/news/latin-america/u-s-officials-suspect-russia-mystery-attacks-diplomats-cuba-china-n908141">described Russia</a> as the primary suspect behind what they believed to be attacks in Cuba and China. Russia has denied any involvement. NBC News <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/news/all/havana-syndrome-likely-caused-microwave-energy-government-study-finds-n1250094">reports</a> that, now or then, no conclusive intelligence has pointed to that explanation. However, the Times notes a number of Russia experts at the CIA believe that all evidence points to the country being behind the illnesses.
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="uB4cB6">
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Still, concrete evidence remains elusive; to compile the new report, experts ranked how plausible various explanations are, using limited evidence and educated conjecture based on expertise.
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="kGZsGJ">
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And as the Times <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/05/business/economy/havana-syndrome-microwave-attack.html?referringSource=articleShare">reports</a>, these experts and others in national security have pointed out that Russia, as well as the former Soviet Union, have a history of working with microwave weapons — and of using them against the US:
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<blockquote>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="6u6xbb">
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The [National Academy of Sciences] report does not point to a perpetrator, though it mentions “significant research in Russia/U.S.S.R.” on pulsed radiofrequency technology, as well as the exposure of military personnel in Eurasian communist countries to microwave radiation. The Soviet Union <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/1979/05/30/archives/soviet-halts-microwaves-aimed-at-us-embassy.html">bombarded the American Embassy</a> in Moscow with microwaves in the 1970s and ’80s. <a href="https://int.nyt.com/data/documenthelper/202-nsastatement/665ff9158ffa09ed1e91/optimized/full.pdf#page=1">In a 2014 document</a>, the National Security Agency discussed a microwave weapon used by a hostile country, which people familiar with the document said was Russia.
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NBC News <a href="https://www.nbcnews.com/news/all/havana-syndrome-likely-caused-microwave-energy-government-study-finds-n1250094">reports</a> that a source said that the CIA used mobile phone location data to determine that some Russian intelligence operatives who were involved in microwave weapons programs were present in cities at the same time that CIA agents began suffering from symptoms of Havana syndrome.
|
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</p>
|
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="a3ByWD">
|
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|
|
Some of the US personnel experiencing Havana syndrome have reported anger and frustration, claiming that their own government has done far too little to attend to their health care needs and to investigate the origins of their health problems.
|
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|
</p>
|
|||
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="vC3XJP">
|
|||
|
|
For instance, Marc Polymeropoulos, a former covert CIA operative who was struck by symptoms matching Havana syndrome in Moscow in 2017, has said the CIA has not taken adequate care of him and other injured CIA officers.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="Bw4W0y">
|
|||
|
|
“It’s incumbent on them to provide the medical help we require, which does not include telling us that we’re all making it up,” <a href="https://www.gq.com/story/cia-investigation-and-russian-microwave-attacks">he told GQ</a>. “I want the Agency to treat this as a combat injury.”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="ukBFUy">
|
|||
|
|
Mark Lenzi, a diplomatic security officer who showed symptoms in China, <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/05/business/economy/havana-syndrome-microwave-attack.html?referringSource=articleShare">told the Times</a> he thinks the Trump administration has overlooked “inconvenient scientific and medical facts” in its assessment of the situation.
|
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</p>
|
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="Kc0LVi">
|
|||
|
|
For advocates of these public servants, there is now hope that the new report, which provides the clearest estimation of what may have happened to date, could result in more pressure on the agencies to attend more carefully to their injured personnel. And it is seen as an important first step toward solving the mystery of what has happened to these officials once and for all.
|
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</p>
|
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="JohYvN">
|
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</p>
|
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="stz0cm">
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="GYnLTZ">
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="nvgSeE">
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</p>
|
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="OYxCTI">
|
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</p></li>
|
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|
|
<li><strong>SNL’s cold open spoofs Rudy Giuliani’s absurd Michigan hearing</strong> -
|
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|
|
<figure>
|
|||
|
|
<img alt="Kate McKinnon, playing Rudy Giuliani, wraps her arms around his “witnesses,” Cecily Strong as Melissa Carone and Lauren Holt, playing a fellow lawyer." src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/lQR9ruCb2MQgyzgx4ldvrjtQIUo=/166x0:2835x2002/1310x983/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/68466068/GettyImages_1229971053.0.jpg"/>
|
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|
|
<figcaption>
|
|||
|
|
Will Heath/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank/Getty Images
|
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|
|
</figcaption>
|
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|
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</figure>
|
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|
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
Kate McKinnon plays Giuliani overseeing a ridiculous roster of witnesses alleging fraud in the election.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="jOF4Uu">
|
|||
|
|
In its December 5 cold open, <em>Saturday Night Live</em> parodied the testimony of Rudy Giuliani’s roster of witnesses at a <a href="https://www.vox.com/2020/12/3/22150194/trump-rudy-giuliani-michigan-results-election-fraud-voter-suppression-detroit-melissa-carone">widely-panned hearing before Michigan lawmakers</a> last week, in which President Donald Trump’s personal lawyer tried to convince legislators to overturn the state’s election results.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="4VW4wZ">
|
|||
|
|
The sketch sought to mock the way in which many of the witnesses, in real life, <a href="https://www.vox.com/2020/12/3/22150194/trump-rudy-giuliani-michigan-results-election-fraud-voter-suppression-detroit-melissa-carone">rehashed baseless claims of voter fraud and misconduct</a>, and on one particularly notable occasion, <a href="https://twitter.com/MollyJongFast/status/1334318185772961796?ref_src=twsrc%5Etfw%7Ctwcamp%5Etweetembed%7Ctwterm%5E1334318185772961796%7Ctwgr%5E%7Ctwcon%5Es1_&ref_url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.vox.com%2F2020%2F12%2F3%2F22150194%2Ftrump-rudy-giuliani-michigan-results-election-fraud-voter-suppression-detroit-melissa-carone">became adversarial</a> toward the Michigan lawmakers overseeing the hearing while floating conspiracy theories.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="Tc5KuT">
|
|||
|
|
Kate McKinnon, playing a theatrical and bumbling Giuliani, opened the hearing by declaring, “This election was stolen from the American people with a level of trickery not seen since Houdini.”
|
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|
|
</p>
|
|||
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="zYIMm6">
|
|||
|
|
When asked for evidence of his claims, McKinnon’s Giuliani went on: “I have brought before you a dozen highly intelligent, barely intoxicated individuals who are all eyewitnesses, and after hearing their testimony you’re going to say, ‘Wow, Rudy was right, and he’s getting smarter and more respected every day.’”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<div id="XVjjh7">
|
|||
|
|
<div style="width: 100%; height: 0; padding-bottom: 56.25%;">
|
|||
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|
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|
|
</div>
|
|||
|
|
</div>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="el8K6o">
|
|||
|
|
The first witness to offer their testimony was Cecily Strong playing <a href="https://www.huffpost.com/entry/mellissa-carone-wright-rudy-giuliani-trump-voter-fraud-detroit-michigan_n_5fcb94e9c5b63a1534523506">Melissa Carone</a> — a contract information technology worker for a voting systems company — who, in real life, made <a href="https://www.vox.com/2020/12/3/22150194/trump-rudy-giuliani-michigan-results-election-fraud-voter-suppression-detroit-melissa-carone">sweeping, evidence-free allegations about fraud</a> at the hearing.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="WJl87K">
|
|||
|
|
“I personally saw hundreds, if not thousands, of dead people vote for Democrats,” Strong’s Carone stated. “Did you check every poll? Did you talk to all the dead people?”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="x8fv7Z">
|
|||
|
|
Heidi Gardner played another eyewitness, who claimed she saw Democrats serving ballots from food trucks. “The Democrats said, ‘It’s lunch time’ and then they opened the food truck and it was full — full of ballot sandwiches, ballot pizzas, ballot steaks, and ballot spaghetti,” she said.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="FU2kue">
|
|||
|
|
Gardner’s testimony seems to be an allusion to the real-life <a href="https://www.vox.com/2020/12/3/22150194/trump-rudy-giuliani-michigan-results-election-fraud-voter-suppression-detroit-melissa-carone">Carone’s insinuations in an interview</a> with Fox News’s Lou Dobbs that venders providing food to poll workers were carrying fraudulent votes.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="4nDORM">
|
|||
|
|
Beck Bennett played <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/08/20/health/covid-oleandrin-trump-mypillow.html">My Pillow chief executive Mike Lindell</a>, a Trump ally who has made <a href="https://www.huffpost.com/entry/mike-lindell-mypillow-election-coup-trump-georgia-rally_n_5fcc4429c5b6636e0925e4c7">numerous implausible claims</a> about voter fraud in recent weeks, and who, in <em>SNL’s</em> version of events, used his testimony as a thinly veiled advertisement for his company. Alex Moffat played a witness who described an alien abduction story and then clarified that he saw the aliens “clearly filling out absentee ballots, all of them for Biden.” Asked when it happened, he said it was “seven years ago.”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="mmBxpZ">
|
|||
|
|
There was also an appearance by Pete Davidson and Kyle Mooney playing <a href="https://abc7chicago.com/michigan-governor-gretchen-whitmer-kidnapping-plot-militia/8079861/">two of the 14 men accused of a militia plot which included kidnapping Michigan’s Gov. Gretchen Whitmer</a>, saying that they needed a chance “to do the whole thing over again.”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="Of5jp8">
|
|||
|
|
“If we have one more shot, we can get her in my basement for sure!” Davidson shouted.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="2iAXBp">
|
|||
|
|
McKinnon’s Giuliani wrapped up the hearing with a nod to the personal interests of those involved with keeping up <a href="https://www.vox.com/2020/12/5/22155858/georgia-election-lawsuit-trump-recount">Trump’s quixotic legal efforts to contest the election results</a>: “The defense rests, but we will never rest, not until this election is overturned, or unless I get a full pardon or $10 million in cash.”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="MioJpX">
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="rkawyR">
|
|||
|
|
</p></li>
|
|||
|
|
</ul>
|
|||
|
|
<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-the-hindu-sports">From The Hindu: Sports</h1>
|
|||
|
|
<ul>
|
|||
|
|
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Dennis Ralston, Hall of Fame tennis player, dies at 78</strong> - He was considered the highest-ranked American player for three years in the 1960s, long before the sport’s computerised rankings system began.</p></li>
|
|||
|
|
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Premier League | Salah puts on a show for fans as Liverpool wallop Wolves 4-0</strong> - The win over a lacklustre Wolves lifted Liverpool back up to second in the table on 24 points, behind leaders Tottenham Hotspur, who beat Arsenal 2-0 in the North London derby earlier on Sunday, on goal difference.</p></li>
|
|||
|
|
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Coronavirus | Second one-day international between South Africa and England postponed</strong> - The outcome of two unconfirmed positive COVID-19 tests from the England camp is awaited</p></li>
|
|||
|
|
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Sergio Perez goes from last to first in astonishing Sakhir GP</strong> - Tearful Frenchman Esteban Ocon was second for Renault, his first podium finish, and Canadian Lance Stroll took third for Racing Point as champions Mercedes’s race fell apart in a botched pitstop and bad luck.</p></li>
|
|||
|
|
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Premier League | Spurs back on top as Son and Kane sink Arsenal</strong> - Kane played in Son after 13 minutes for the South Korean to curl home a majestic opener for his 10th league goal of the season, much to the delight of the 2,000 fans in attendance.</p></li>
|
|||
|
|
</ul>
|
|||
|
|
<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-the-hindu-national-news">From The Hindu: National News</h1>
|
|||
|
|
<ul>
|
|||
|
|
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Coronavirus live updates | After Pfizer, Serum Institute seeks emergency use nod for Covishield in India</strong> - Worldwide coronavirus cases cross 6.623 crore, death toll at 15.3 lakh.</p></li>
|
|||
|
|
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>‘Operation Nigha’ to check smuggling of sand, liquor</strong> - ‘54 cases booked, 180 persons arrested and 80 vehicles seized so far’</p></li>
|
|||
|
|
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>People embracing BJP in Kashmir: Shahnawaz Hussain</strong> - DDC stands for development, dynasty-free and corruption-free J&K, he says</p></li>
|
|||
|
|
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>J&K administration seeks review of order on Roshni Act</strong> - In a U-turn, it files plea saying common people will suffer</p></li>
|
|||
|
|
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>NGT directs Odisha to submit action plan on strengthening elephant corridors</strong> - The National Green Tribunal (NGT) has directed the Odisha government to prepare an action plan within three months on 14 identified elephant corridor</p></li>
|
|||
|
|
</ul>
|
|||
|
|
<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-bbc-europe">From BBC: Europe</h1>
|
|||
|
|
<ul>
|
|||
|
|
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Brexit: UK-EU trade talks continue as ‘sticking points’ remain</strong> - EU sources say the two sides are nearing an agreement on access to UK waters by EU fishing fleets.</p></li>
|
|||
|
|
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Climate change threatens ‘most Alps glaciers’</strong> - By 2100, 92% of glaciers including popular ski resorts could be lost, Aberystwyth University says.</p></li>
|
|||
|
|
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>France police security bill: Protests turn violent again</strong> - Protesters clash with police and vehicles are set alight for a second weekend over a controversial law.</p></li>
|
|||
|
|
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Couple divided for nine months by Covid and an ocean</strong> - A special pass for long-distance couples allowed Tina and Victor to reunite after nine months on different sides of the world.</p></li>
|
|||
|
|
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Zalando boss to quit ‘to prioritise wife’s career’</strong> - The co-chief executive of Europe’s largest online fashion platform is cutting short his contract.</p></li>
|
|||
|
|
</ul>
|
|||
|
|
<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-ars-technica">From Ars Technica</h1>
|
|||
|
|
<ul>
|
|||
|
|
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Two very different approaches to restoring vision</strong> - Reprogramming nerve cells and hardware implants both add to visual acuity. - <a href="https://arstechnica.com/?p=1727783">link</a></p></li>
|
|||
|
|
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>The incredible journey of the electronic plastic bottle</strong> - Researchers loaded containers with trackers and let them float away. - <a href="https://arstechnica.com/?p=1727757">link</a></p></li>
|
|||
|
|
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Superkids must battle an alien invasion in We Can Be Heroes trailer</strong> - It’s Director Robert Rodriguez’s standalone sequel to his 2005 3D kids’ film. - <a href="https://arstechnica.com/?p=1727893">link</a></p></li>
|
|||
|
|
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Review: Freaky is a familiar-but-fun riff on the classic body-swap concept</strong> - Latest horror/comedy from Christopher Landon spoofs <em>Friday the 13th</em>, <em>Freaky Friday</em>. - <a href="https://arstechnica.com/?p=1727814">link</a></p></li>
|
|||
|
|
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>New analysis: Extreme flows in US streams are rising</strong> - Mixed trends become clearer when similar streams are grouped together. - <a href="https://arstechnica.com/?p=1727655">link</a></p></li>
|
|||
|
|
</ul>
|
|||
|
|
<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-jokes-subreddit">From Jokes Subreddit</h1>
|
|||
|
|
<ul>
|
|||
|
|
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>An Arab family residing in Europe was considering putting their grandfather (Abdullah) in a nursing home. All the Arab Facilities were completely full, so they had to put him in an Italian one. After a few weeks there, they came to visit their Grandfather.</strong> - <!-- SC_OFF --></p>
|
|||
|
|
<div class="md">
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
“How do you like it here?” asked the grandson. “It’s wonderful! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful,” answered grandpa. “We’re so happy for you,” said the Grandson. “We were worried that this was the wrong place for you, since you’re a little different from everyone.”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
“Oh, no! Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents here,” Abdullah said, with a big smile on his face. “There’s a musician here–he’s 85 years old. He hasn’t played the violin in 20 years, and everyone still calls him Maestro! There is a judge in here–he’s 90 years old. He hasn’t been on the bench in 25 years, and everyone still calls him Your Honor! There’s a dentist here too–95 years old. He hasn’t fixed a tooth for 30 years, and everyone still calls him Doctor!”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
“And Me–I haven’t had sex for 35 years, and they still call me The Fucking Arab.”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
[apologies for the racism; if it’s any consolation, am partly arab, so, yeah–just trying to laugh at myself whenever I can… cheers.]
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
</div>
|
|||
|
|
<!-- SC_ON -->
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"> submitted by <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/throughmethroughyou"> /u/throughmethroughyou </a> <br/> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/k81pk5/an_arab_family_residing_in_europe_was_considering/">[link]</a></span> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/k81pk5/an_arab_family_residing_in_europe_was_considering/">[comments]</a></span></p></li>
|
|||
|
|
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>A suspected Covid-19 male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student female nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath.</strong> - <!-- SC_OFF --></p>
|
|||
|
|
<div class="md">
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
“Nurse,”’ he mumbles from behind the mask, “are my testicles black?”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, “I don’t know, Sir. I’m only here to wash your upper body and feet.”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
He struggles to ask again, “Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
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|
pulls back the covers.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
She looks very closely and says, “There’s nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine.”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very,
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
very, closely:
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
“Are - my - test - results - back?”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
</div>
|
|||
|
|
<!-- SC_ON -->
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"> submitted by <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/hayeshilton"> /u/hayeshilton </a> <br/> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/k7t05e/a_suspected_covid19_male_patient_is_lying_in_bed/">[link]</a></span> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/k7t05e/a_suspected_covid19_male_patient_is_lying_in_bed/">[comments]</a></span></p></li>
|
|||
|
|
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>dolphins doing calculus be like</strong> - <!-- SC_OFF --></p>
|
|||
|
|
<div class="md">
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
(eᴱ)’ = Eeᴱ
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
</div>
|
|||
|
|
<!-- SC_ON -->
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"> submitted by <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/invertedparadX"> /u/invertedparadX </a> <br/> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/k83b0q/dolphins_doing_calculus_be_like/">[link]</a></span> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/k83b0q/dolphins_doing_calculus_be_like/">[comments]</a></span></p></li>
|
|||
|
|
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>A poor family lives on a farm and they rely on their chickens for income.</strong> - <!-- SC_OFF --></p>
|
|||
|
|
<div class="md">
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
One morning, the father walks outside to find the chicken coop empty and the corpses of chickens on the ground.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
“There’s nothing that could help get us out of poverty now,” says the dad as he shoots himself.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
The mom walks outside and sees the dad and the chickens on the ground.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
“I can’t live without my husband,” she says as she shoots herself with her husband’s gun.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
The daughter walks outside and sees her mother, father, and the dead chickens.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
“I can’t live any longer without my family,” she says as she jumps into the river and kills herself.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
The oldest son, 23 years old, walks outside looking for the family and sees them all dead.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
“Is there anyway to bring them back,” he yells at the sky.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
Poof! A magical fairy appears out of thin air.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
“I will bring your whole family back to life, even the chickens,” she says, “if you can fuck me 5 times in a row. If not, I get to kill you.”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
The boy fucks her 2 times in a row and he dies.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
The middle son, 19 years old, comes out and sees the fairy. She gives him the same offer as his brother.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
“I will bring your whole family back to life, even the chickens,” she says, “if you can fuck me 5 times in a row. If not, I get to kill you.”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
The son agrees to do it but can only do it 4 times. He dies.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
The youngest son, 15 years old, comes out and is given the same offer.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
“I will bring your whole family back to life, even the chickens,” she says, “if you can fuck me 5 times in a row. If not I get to kill you.”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
The son says, “What if I fuck you 10 times in a row?”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
The fairy thinks. She says, "I will bring back your family and grant you fortune.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
The son says, “What if I fuck you 20 times in a row?”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
She thinks again and says, “I will bring back your family, grant you fortune, and give you a mansion.”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
The son thinks and says, “What if I fuck you 30 times in a row?”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
She thinks and says, “I will bring back your family and ensure that your family bloodline remains rich for the next generations to come.”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
The son says, “Wait, how do I know you’ll survive it?”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
“What do you mean?” says the fairy.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
“The chickens didn’t.”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
</div>
|
|||
|
|
<!-- SC_ON -->
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"> submitted by <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/dave_brush014"> /u/dave_brush014 </a> <br/> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/k7sjam/a_poor_family_lives_on_a_farm_and_they_rely_on/">[link]</a></span> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/k7sjam/a_poor_family_lives_on_a_farm_and_they_rely_on/">[comments]</a></span></p></li>
|
|||
|
|
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>A man is on his deathbed, and he asks his wife…</strong> - <!-- SC_OFF --></p>
|
|||
|
|
<div class="md">
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
“Martha, soon I will be gone forever, and there’s something I have to know. In all of these 50 years of marriage, have you ever been unfaithful to me?”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
Martha replied, "Well Henry, I have to be honest with you. Yes, I’ve been unfaithful to you three times during these 50 years, but always for a good reason.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
Henry was obviously hurt by his wife’s confession, but said, “I never suspected. Can you tell me what you mean by ‘good reasons?’”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
Martha said, “The first time was shortly after we were married, and we were about to lose our little house because we couldn’t pay the mortgage.Do you remember that one evening I went to see the banker and the next day he notified you that the loan would be extended?”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
Henry recalled the visit to the banker and said, “I can forgive you for that. You saved our home, but what about the second time?”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
Martha asked, “And do you remember when you were so sick, but we didn’t have the money to pay for the heart surgery you needed? Well, I went to see your doctor one night and, if you recall, he did the surgery at no charge.”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
“I recall that,” said Henry. “And you did it to save my life, so of course I can forgive you for that. Now tell me about the third time.”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
“Alright,” Martha said. “So do you remember when you ran for president of your golf club, and you needed 73 more votes?”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
</div>
|
|||
|
|
<!-- SC_ON -->
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"> submitted by <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/thudly"> /u/thudly </a> <br/> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/k7yj6l/a_man_is_on_his_deathbed_and_he_asks_his_wife/">[link]</a></span> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/k7yj6l/a_man_is_on_his_deathbed_and_he_asks_his_wife/">[comments]</a></span></p></li>
|
|||
|
|
</ul>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
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