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<title>23 October, 2023</title>
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<title>Daily-Dose</title><meta content="width=device-width, initial-scale=1.0" name="viewport"/><link href="styles/simple.css" rel="stylesheet"/><link href="../styles/simple.css" rel="stylesheet"/><style>*{overflow-x:hidden;}</style><link href="https://unpkg.com/aos@2.3.1/dist/aos.css" rel="stylesheet"/><script src="https://unpkg.com/aos@2.3.1/dist/aos.js"></script></head>
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<body>
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<h1 data-aos="fade-down" id="daily-dose">Daily-Dose</h1>
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<h1 data-aos="fade-right" data-aos-anchor-placement="top-bottom" id="contents">Contents</h1>
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<ul>
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<li><a href="#from-new-yorker">From New Yorker</a></li>
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<li><a href="#from-vox">From Vox</a></li>
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<li><a href="#from-the-hindu-sports">From The Hindu: Sports</a></li>
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<li><a href="#from-the-hindu-national-news">From The Hindu: National News</a></li>
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<li><a href="#from-bbc-europe">From BBC: Europe</a></li>
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<li><a href="#from-ars-technica">From Ars Technica</a></li>
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<li><a href="#from-jokes-subreddit">From Jokes Subreddit</a></li>
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</ul>
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<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-new-yorker">From New Yorker</h1>
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<ul>
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<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>The View from My Window in Gaza</strong> - Two days before Israel escalated attacks in the Gaza Strip, my family bought some bread. After we evacuated, I biked home to get it. - <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/news/the-weekend-essay/the-view-from-my-window-in-gaza">link</a></p></li>
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<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>The Week When Biden Hugged Bibi</strong> - The President, fresh off a grim trip to the Middle East, makes the case for funding Israel’s war—and Ukraine’s, too. - <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/news/letter-from-bidens-washington/the-week-when-biden-hugged-bibi">link</a></p></li>
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<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>The Anguished Fallout from a Pro-Palestinian Letter at Harvard</strong> - Students issued a statement blaming Israel for the Hamas attacks. Then a doxing campaign tested the courage of their conviction. - <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/news/dispatch/the-anguished-fallout-from-a-pro-palestinian-letter-at-harvard">link</a></p></li>
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<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>The Simmering Lebanese Front in Israel’s War</strong> - A series of tit-for-tat exchanges between Hezbollah fighters and the Israeli Army risks blowing the Gaza offensive into a regional conflict. - <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/news/dispatch/the-simmering-lebanese-front-in-israels-war">link</a></p></li>
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<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Ibram X. Kendi’s Anti-Racism</strong> - The historian espoused grand ambitions to dismantle American racism, but the crisis at his research center suggests that he always had a more limited view of change. - <a href="https://www.newyorker.com/news/our-columnists/ibram-x-kendis-anti-racism">link</a></p></li>
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</ul>
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<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-vox">From Vox</h1>
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<ul>
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<li><strong>A simple checklist to plan for your old age, today</strong> -
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<figure>
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<img alt="A cartoon of a woman reading a long list while looking at a giant hourglass." src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/keZ-2qY6ROcz-eo9mZtqPG3g3XE=/365x0:6200x4376/1310x983/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/72784095/GettyImages_1307620247.0.jpg"/>
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<figcaption>
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We’re all getting older. It’s time to have a plan. | Ponomariova_Maria via Getty Images/iStockphoto
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</figcaption>
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</figure>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
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Four not-so-scary steps to take to give yourself peace of mind.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="SjbirS">
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None of us is getting any younger, yet many of us prefer to ignore that fact.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="PI8D83">
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“We tend to think of aging as something sad that old people do, when in fact we are aging from the minute we are born,” says Ashton Applewhite, author of the book <a href="https://bookshop.org/p/books/this-chair-rocks-a-manifesto-against-ageism-ashton-applewhite/6986118"><em>This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Ageism</em></a>.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="ATnUCc">
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As a result, many of us don’t prepare for the realities of getting old: <a href="https://news.gallup.com/poll/351500/how-many-americans-have-will.aspx">Less than half of American adults</a> have a will, and many underestimate both the cost of long-term care and the likelihood that they’ll need it. About <a href="https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/financial-legal/info-2022/planning-for-long-term-care.html">seven in 10 people</a> need care at some point as they age, and that care is expensive: <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2021/08/09/opinion/aging-nursing-home-medicare.html">$50,000 a year for a full-time home health aide</a>, or $93,000 for a semi-private room in a nursing home. Moreover, falling birth rates mean that, in the years to come, America’s elderly will have <a href="https://www.aarp.org/home-family/caregiving/info-08-2013/the-aging-of-the-baby-boom-and-the-growing-care-gap-AARP-ppi-ltc.html">fewer family members than ever</a> to help them, making advance planning all the more important.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="BKZ6CL">
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Experts suggest that people get legal documents like a <a href="https://www.vox.com/e/23675310">power of attorney and living will in place</a> by their 50s, but it’s never too early to start thinking about your later years, or to make preparations so your loved ones can follow your wishes.
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="BEDyOK">
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Below are a few steps you can take whether you’re 25 or 95 to make it more likely that you can grow old the way you want to. You don’t have to have all of these items in place right away, but getting started can give you peace of mind about the future and <a href="https://www.vox.com/e/23675310">make life easier</a> for you and your loved ones later on. “Aging is living,” Applewhite says; the sooner we embrace that, the better off we’ll be.
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</p>
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<h3 id="AhrBOn">
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Talk to your loved ones
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</h3>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="ZLAAdB">
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Planning for aging isn’t just an individual task. Experts and current and former caregivers agree it’s important to involve your loved ones — children, partners, friends, and anyone who might be part of your support team as you get older. “Talk about how you envision wanting to age,” says Susan Sterner, a caregiver whose father has dementia. “How do you want to be taken care of? Who do you want to be near?”
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="H0mkTU">
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Sterner and her husband have already talked to their children, who are young adults, about their advance directives. “We actually had a little dinner with our kids where we dressed up and made fancy food and we talked about things like wills,” Sterner said. She also advises having “an open, honest conversation about health and <a href="https://www.vox.com/health-care">health care</a> with your kids as you’re raising them, so they feel like they can also bring it up.”
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="YIyYjH">
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Frank conversations are especially important if you think you might need or want your loved ones to help with your long-term care — a likely scenario, given that <a href="https://www.prb.org/resources/family-caregiving-for-older-people/">the majority of elder care</a> is provided by family members. Sometimes people worry that they will be a burden on their family members by asking for help, says Regina Koepp, a clinical geropsychologist and the founder of the Center for Mental Health & Aging. But “if you get your care needs met in a timely fashion and well enough,” she says, “it actually reduces more care needs down the road” because chronic conditions can become worse if they’re not properly treated.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="bnrCjL">
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Another way to reduce feelings of guilt around asking for help is “to find ways to contribute even when you’re receiving care,” Koepp says. This could be as simple as being clear with your loved ones about your medical conditions. “There’s a lot of strained family relationships because family members don’t have all of the information that the older person has about their medical needs.”
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="K5HJRS">
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You can also remind yourself that needing support is by no means unique to older ages. “We are interdependent from birth to death,” says Applewhite. “If you get sick, whatever age you happen to be, you’re going to need help. If I have a baby, I need help. If I break my foot, I need help. If I go broke, I need help. We need help lifelong.”
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</p>
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<h3 id="eMObVW">
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Set up advance directives
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</h3>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="4dxBzH">
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Advance directives are legal documents that allow you to set forth your wishes in case you become incapacitated. The following four types are especially important, says Eric Einhart, treasurer of the Executive Committee of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys:
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</p>
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<ul>
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<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="V5aUre">
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<strong>A power of attorney</strong> allows you to name someone else, such as a family member or friend, to handle your legal and financial affairs if you become incapacitated. You can give that person as much or as little authority as you want — for example, you could grant them the ability to do a specific task, like selling your home. However, Einhart suggests that you make the power of attorney as broad as possible to cover any circumstances that might come up, and choose someone you trust. A power of attorney should also be updated regularly because banks and brokerage firms won’t necessarily recognize the document’s validity if it’s several decades old. “You want the latest and the greatest,” Einhart says.
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</li>
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<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="xWf0rA">
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<strong>A health care proxy</strong> allows you to name someone to make medical decisions on your behalf if you can no longer do so. That person should be acting on your wishes, Einhart said, so it’s important to talk beforehand about any health care decisions you feel strongly about, including your preferences around palliative and end-of-life care. It’s important to choose someone who has “the time, energy, and the wherewithal to handle the job” in the event it’s necessary, Einhart says.
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</li>
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<strong>A HIPAA authorization </strong>allows someone else to access your medical records. This document can be helpful if a family member or another trusted person needs to handle your medical care or deal with your health insurance, Einhart says.
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</li>
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<li id="B71IAg">
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<strong>A living will</strong> spells out your wishes around the end of your life, including whether or not you want to be on life support, and what treatments you want or don’t want <a href="https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/preparing-living-will">in an emergency situation</a> if you can’t communicate. Uncomfortable as it may be, it’s helpful to consider the different circumstances under which someone might have to consult your living will. The way we view medical decisions might change depending on the context and depending on how much and what quality of life we might expect.
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</li>
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</ul>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="qbDHtt">
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All of these documents should be prepared by a professional; you can find one through the <a href="https://www.naela.org/">National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys</a> (NAELA). That preparation can cost anywhere from hundreds to thousands of dollars, but you can also find pro bono legal services through your state or local bar association.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="A73zRZ">
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However you get it done, having advance directives can ensure your wishes are respected and help you and your loved ones avoid a stressful situation in the future. “If you don’t have those documents in place, you don’t have the legal structures that would allow someone else that you choose to make decisions for you,” Einhart said. “You can have a judge who you’ve never met before appoint somebody that is a complete stranger to make a decision for you.”
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</p>
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<h3 id="TuxJvm">
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Make a will
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</h3>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="23MJb3">
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Unlike a living will, a last will and testament (often simply called <a href="https://www.ncoa.org/adviser/estate-planning/living-trust-vs-will/">a will</a>) spells out what you want to happen to your assets after you die. State laws typically establish defaults for how property is distributed after death, but “you may have different ideas in mind of who should get what,” Einhart says, and a will is crucial for making sure those are honored.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="8V6BND">
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You need a will even if you don’t have a lot of money, Einhart says. The document allows you to designate who you want to be in charge of handling your affairs when you die and how any debts will be paid back. If you have children, it also allows you to appoint a guardian for them in the event of your death.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="yNnNV2">
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You can find an attorney to prepare a will through NAELA, or, if your finances are simple, you can use an <a href="https://www.ncoa.org/adviser/estate-planning/best-online-will-makers/">online will maker</a>, which can range in cost from free to $299, according to the National Council on Aging.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="HmS311">
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In addition to a will and advance directives, some experts recommend you put together a “life file” that also contains important passwords, banking information, and instructions for your possessions. The advocacy group Death With Dignity has <a href="https://deathwithdignity.org/resources/life-file/">a checklist</a> for assembling a life file containing these items and more.
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</p>
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<h3 id="uaddej">
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Make a financial plan for long-term care
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</h3>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="5q0b38">
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Medicare doesn’t pay for most long-term care, and Medicaid only covers such care once you’ve exhausted all your assets. That means that most people who need assistance as they age will have to pay for at least some of it out of pocket. Even if you hope to be cared for by family members, there are expenses attached — as of 2021, family caregivers spent <a href="https://www.aarp.org/research/topics/care/info-2016/family-caregivers-cost-survey.html">an average of $7,242</a> per year on costs related to care.
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="gVckRL">
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Buying <a href="https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/financial-legal/info-2021/understanding-long-term-care-insurance.html">long-term care insurance</a> is one option, but it can be very expensive; some states have established or are <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2023/06/16/business/retirement-long-term-care-insurance.html">looking to start public programs</a> to lower the cost. You can also contact your local <a href="https://eldercare.acl.gov/Public/About/Aging_Network/AAA.aspx">area agency on aging</a>, a county-level organization that can help you determine what types of assistance you might qualify for. Your primary care doctor, if you have one, may also be able to put you in touch with a social worker who can help. If talking to your loved ones about money and long-term care is difficult or awkward, a social worker can also help facilitate those conversations, Koepp says.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="xRh2YM">
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An elder law attorney can also often share information about long-term care and other services, because they have experience helping clients age “in a position where they are comfortable and have maintained their dignity,” Einhart said. “We’re all going to get old — you just want to do it with a plan.”
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</p></li>
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<li><strong>Six questions to ask that will make caring for older relatives much easier</strong> -
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<figure>
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<img alt="A woman cooks on a stove while talking to an older woman sitting down." src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/_If0Xl1Gbm6c07CKdC6bjDKfKXw=/586x0:7253x5000/1310x983/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/72784078/GettyImages_1388281348__1_.0.jpg"/>
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<figcaption>
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Talking about aging can be difficult — but it can also bring peace of mind. | invincible_bulldog via Getty Images
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
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Your parents or other loved ones could need you one day. Here’s how to get ready.
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The women in Loretta Woodward Veney’s family are known for their longevity. Her grandmother died in her late 90s; her great-grandmother lived alone until she was 101, and only agreed to move into a nursing home “when we told her there were men,” Veney jokes. So when Veney’s mother was diagnosed with dementia at age 77, Veney, then 47, was shocked — and unprepared for the financial and logistical realities of caregiving.
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Many millennial and Gen Z Americans will be faced with difficult decisions about elder care in the near future, if they aren’t grappling with it already. Baby boomers are reaching the age when they’re more likely to need support with medical care and daily tasks, and the ones providing that support are typically family members, often adult children. <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2023/03/28/magazine/elder-child-care-millennials.html">More than 40 million Americans</a> today are caring for an older relative or friend, according to AARP, and many caregivers and former caregivers, like Veney, describe being taken by surprise when a loved one needed help, and feeling isolated by the lack of public discussion around aging and disability.
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Now an author and speaker on caregiving issues, one of Veney’s biggest pieces of advice for younger people: Don’t wait for a crisis to talk to your parents or other older relatives about what they want their later years to look like — where they want to live as they age, who they want to care for them, and what steps (if any) they’ve taken to prepare. “You do not want to be making these kinds of decisions when somebody’s lying in a hospital bed,” Veney says.
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</p>
|
|||
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="7148VS">
|
|||
|
|
It’s not always an easy conversation to have. Adult children often “don’t want to impose or catastrophize the older adult’s experience,” says <a href="https://drreginakoepp.com">Regina Koepp</a>, a clinical geropsychologist and the founder of the Center for Mental Health & Aging. Older people, meanwhile, may worry that talking about their own future needs may unduly burden their kids. It’s difficult for most people to talk about getting older in a culture that automatically equates aging with disability — and that too often subjects people with disabilities to stigma and discrimination. We “live in a deeply ageist and ableist culture which drowns out all but the negatives about getting older,” says Ashton Applewhite, author of <a href="https://bookshop.org/p/books/this-chair-rocks-a-manifesto-against-ageism-ashton-applewhite/6986118?ean=9781250297259"><em>This Chair Rocks: A Manifesto Against Aging</em></a>. “We don’t talk about it for reasons that are human and reasons that are deeply culturally embedded.”
|
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</p>
|
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="j524ot">
|
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|
By cutting through the silence around aging and addressing these topics head-on, families can replace anxiety and uncertainty with a concrete plan. Older years can bring with them specific needs, such as rides to doctor’s appointments, help applying for aid programs, and even assistance with basics like bathing or eating. Discussing them can make caregiving less daunting and help make sure an older person’s wishes are respected. Below are six questions that can help you get started.
|
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</p>
|
|||
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<h3 id="ZVYlh5">
|
|||
|
|
How is your living situation working for you?
|
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</h3>
|
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="r0rsQs">
|
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|
Approach the conversation with respect and caring, says <a href="https://roybal.usc.edu/our_team/maria-p-aranda/">María P. Aranda</a>, director of the University of Southern California’s Edward R. Roybal Institute on Aging. Older adults are “independent, and they have their own notions about how they want to live.”
|
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</p>
|
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="NfDPPG">
|
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|
Any dialogue needs to center them, their needs, and their wishes. To that end, when Aranda’s parents were getting older, she and her family asked them, “How is this living arrangement working for you?” This kind of open-ended question can start a conversation whether elders are living in their own home, with family, or somewhere else, and can open the door to talk about the future. You can follow up with questions like “Are you comfortable?” and “Are your needs being met?”
|
|||
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|
</p>
|
|||
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|
<h3 id="h9Dixv">
|
|||
|
|
Where do you want to live if you start to need more help?
|
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|
</h3>
|
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="1QEMNm">
|
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|
|
After Susan Sterner’s father was diagnosed with dementia and started becoming physically weaker, she feared her parents could no longer safely live in their home, which had no first-floor bathroom. Talking to them about moving out was mentally and emotionally wrenching, Sterner says. As an adult child, it’s difficult “to launch the conversations about the decreasing in their independence, and to have those conversations while still supporting their agency,” she says.
|
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</p>
|
|||
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="2Atmxv">
|
|||
|
|
Having the conversation proactively, before someone is severely ill, can help family members prepare to honor a loved one’s wishes. For instance, according to one AARP survey, the majority of people over 50 want to “<a href="http://aarp.org/home-family/your-home/info-2021/home-and-community-preferences-survey.html">age in place</a>,” staying in their homes as long as possible rather than moving into an assisted living facility or nursing home. To make that feasible, a home may need modifications like <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/23/health/elderly-medical-equipment.html">grab bars or a shower chair</a> in the bathroom, or a <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/19/health/aging-in-place-contractors.html">lift</a> to help someone get upstairs.
|
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</p>
|
|||
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="nCPgOM">
|
|||
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|
For some, however, aging in place may become impossible, often because of medical or care needs that can’t be managed at home. It’s helpful to know and consider a loved one’s preferences if that happens. Veney, for example, knew her mother “never liked people as much as I did.” So when she could no longer safely live in her home, Veney avoided larger facilities with “everybody playing bingo on Tuesday nights,” says Veney. Instead, she found her mom a small group home with six other seniors. “She loved it,” she says.
|
|||
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</p>
|
|||
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="wVTbJH">
|
|||
|
|
In other families, an older loved one may want or need to move in with adult children or other relatives. Multigenerational living is <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2022/03/24/the-demographics-of-multigenerational-households/">on the rise</a> in the US, with 20 percent of women and 15 percent of men over 65 living in multigenerational homes. A growing number of families are even pooling their resources with an older relative and <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2021/07/09/realestate/multigenerational-living.html">buying a home together</a>, as Andrea Catlett did when she and her husband and kids combined households with her mother several years ago. Catlett told Vox she loves being able to share meals with so many loved ones, but also says the arrangement “takes a lot of patience and a lot of grace” — and tools like Bluetooth headphones that let her hard-of-hearing mom blast the TV without bothering the rest of the family.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
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|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="dFwjzD">
|
|||
|
|
Knowing if this kind of arrangement might be in your future can help you make a plan. And whether it’s modifying a home or finding another place to live, planning for the future almost always means talking about money.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<h3 id="BO4E8s">
|
|||
|
|
What should I know about your finances?
|
|||
|
|
</h3>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="TZgYaL">
|
|||
|
|
With the median cost of a full-time <a href="https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/2019/8/21/20694768/home-health-aides-elder-care">home health aide</a> reaching <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2021/08/09/opinion/aging-nursing-home-medicare.html">$50,000 in 2021</a>, and a semi-private room in a nursing home nearly twice that, it’s crucial to ask this question to learn what financial resources your loved one has to help provide for any care they might need, and what gaps your family may need to help make up.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="HbRsff">
|
|||
|
|
If your loved ones are open to sharing the information, it’s helpful to find out their net worth, whether they own any property, such as real estate, and whether they owe any debts. If you do need to manage their finances, you’ll need to know what creditors need to be paid. Veney recalls a friend who “just found out that her parents have a second mortgage on their house that she didn’t know anything about.” Having a financial conversation early on can help you avoid such surprises.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="SCZxI8">
|
|||
|
|
This conversation can be incredibly difficult. “It can sound very intrusive for an older person to all of a sudden have an adult child question them about money,” Koepp says. An older person may worry that a child is trying to control them or even fishing for information about an inheritance. Beyond being open and honest about why you’re bringing this up, you can also enlist a third party to help with the conversation.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="ME1Ngu">
|
|||
|
|
Each county in the US has an <a href="https://eldercare.acl.gov/Public/About/Aging_Network/AAA.aspx">area agency on aging</a>, which often employs resource counselors who can walk families through programs they might qualify for to help with care and other expenses, Koepp says. Reaching out to such an agency together can be a way to start a conversation around finances. If your loved one has a primary care doctor, the medical practice may be able to put you in touch with a social worker who can also help discuss programs. If talking about finances directly is too challenging, “Maybe the adult child says, ‘Would you be willing to talk with a social worker about what you can afford?’” Koepp suggests.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="F3eOoE">
|
|||
|
|
However the conversation happens, knowing about your loved one’s financial situation is also important so you understand what you’ll be managing if you ever need to take over their affairs, either while they are living or after they die, says Eric Einhart, treasurer of the executive committee of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys. “Understanding the size, scope, and title of their assets certainly would be very helpful for anybody who’s going to be put in the position of potentially managing those resources at some point.”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<h3 id="VCBIKS">
|
|||
|
|
Do you have any advance directives set up?
|
|||
|
|
</h3>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="Cr8BQ6">
|
|||
|
|
<a href="https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/advance-care-planning-advance-directives-health-care">Advance directives</a> are documents that set forth instructions for medical care and other personal affairs in the event that someone can no longer communicate. Without such documents, it can be very difficult for family members to make medical decisions — or even do basic things like pay bills — if an elder becomes incapacitated because of a stroke, dementia, or another condition. When Amanda Singleton’s mother became sick with brain cancer, for example, she had few advance directives in place, Singleton says. “I ran into so many brick walls trying to get things done for her.”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="csKyZZ">
|
|||
|
|
To avoid such situations, the following four documents are especially crucial, Einhart says:
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<ul>
|
|||
|
|
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="Mbz708">
|
|||
|
|
<strong>A power of attorney</strong>, which allows a person to name someone else who can handle their legal and financial needs if they can no longer do so themselves. Such a document could allow you to do tasks like banking, filing taxes, and picking up mail for an older relative, should they become unable to do so.
|
|||
|
|
</li>
|
|||
|
|
<li id="IzzexS">
|
|||
|
|
<strong>A </strong><a href="https://www.vox.com/health-care"><strong>health care</strong></a><strong> proxy</strong>, which allows one party to name another to act as their surrogate if they’re unable to make medical decisions.
|
|||
|
|
</li>
|
|||
|
|
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="y91ZHi">
|
|||
|
|
<strong>A HIPAA authorization</strong>, which allows caregivers or other designated parties to access someone’s medical records.
|
|||
|
|
</li>
|
|||
|
|
<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="5DLbqT">
|
|||
|
|
<strong>A living will,</strong> which spells out a person’s wishes for the end of life, including decisions around life support.
|
|||
|
|
</li>
|
|||
|
|
</ul>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="oWaNC0">
|
|||
|
|
“It is really, really important to seek the services of a qualified professional” in drafting the above documents, Einhart says. You can find a qualified attorney in your area through the <a href="https://naela.org//">National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys</a>. Preparing the documents can cost anywhere from a few hundred to a few thousand dollars, but if that’s a financial hardship, you can also seek out pro bono legal services through your local bar association.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="0cCkVv">
|
|||
|
|
Figuring out when to ask older relatives about these directives and other long-term plans is “an art, not a science,” Einhart says, though he recommends people start getting their own documents in order in their 50s. He advises families to avoid starting conversations about care and end-of-life wishes right after a health incident, but instead to wait until the immediate crisis passes and remember to take a soft approach. “Reassure them that you’re not looking to take over anything,” Einhart says. “You just want to have this conversation with them because you’re concerned about the future and you love them.”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<h3 id="pzdKnU">
|
|||
|
|
Who do you want to support you as you get older, and how?
|
|||
|
|
</h3>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="hu5nGe">
|
|||
|
|
Beyond where and how a person wants to age, there’s also the question of who will be there to help, and in what capacity. The majority of people will need some kind of support in their later years, whether that’s assistance with daily tasks like bathing or dressing, driving to doctor’s appointments or social engagements, or more involved medical care. Part of planning for the future is figuring out who’s going to provide that support.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="Tm4AWe">
|
|||
|
|
Most elder care in America is provided by family members, and that family care needs to be planned. When Veney’s grandmother was aging, all of her grandchildren had a family meeting to discuss who was going to do what when, Veney recalls. If you’re having such a meeting, you can also include your spouse or partner, family friends, and anyone else who is going to be supporting you or your loved one. The <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/aging/publications/features/caregivers-month.html">CDC</a> and <a href="https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/prepare-to-care-planning-guide/?cmp=RDRCT-P2C-CAREGIVING-VANITY">AARP</a> both have resources that can help with making a written care plan, which can be helpful, especially if your loved one has medical needs or if you’re coordinating with multiple caregivers.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="Qdw4Z0">
|
|||
|
|
If you think you might be a caregiver in the future, it’s also important to know what your capacities and limits are. “If you know that you are not the person who can go over and change Dad,” for example, find out if there’s another family member who can, Veney advises. “When the different care things are divided among available family members, then everybody builds to their strengths.”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="tPOYFz">
|
|||
|
|
However, not everyone has multiple relatives who can step in, especially in <a href="https://www.vox.com/e/23614623">an age of smaller families</a>. If the responsibilities of care are likely to fall solely on your shoulders, you can look to various resources for information and support. In addition to area agencies on aging, <a href="https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/">AARP</a> and the <a href="https://www.caregiving.org/">National Alliance for Caregiving</a> are good places to start, Aranda says.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="czDeIq">
|
|||
|
|
If a loved one has the resources to hire a <a href="https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/2019/8/21/20694768/home-health-aides-elder-care">home health aide</a> or another paid caregiver, it can be helpful for the family to research options together ahead of time, Veney says. In the process, family members can learn if an elder has any <a href="https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/home-care/info-2018/hiring-caregiver.html?intcmp=AE-CAR-CAH-SRVCS-IL">preferences about future caregivers</a>, like wanting someone of the same gender or someone who speaks their language. Many families also use a combination of family caregiving and paid support; even if you and other family members provide most of the care, you can still look for assistance on a <a href="https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/home-care/in-home-care-services/">part-time</a> or <a href="https://aging.ny.gov/respite-program#:~:text=Supporting%20Materials-,Program%20Description,them%20maintain%20a%20normal%20life.">substitute</a> basis.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<h3 id="rxneQc">
|
|||
|
|
What brings you joy?
|
|||
|
|
</h3>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="k0kVch">
|
|||
|
|
Long-term care, powers of attorney, and living wills are heavy topics that can be anxiety-provoking for a lot of people. Current and former caregivers say it’s important to also make space to discuss what makes senior family members happy in their day-to-day lives.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="grB9TY">
|
|||
|
|
“I’ve been really trying to ask my parents and listen hard to what are the small things that matter, that make them feel like their life is theirs,” Sterner says. “How can we help my parents feel like their life is still their life when things are getting smaller and harder?”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="EpCaRU">
|
|||
|
|
For Veney’s mother, that was Legos. The two had always built with the blocks together, and “when the disease progressed and she couldn’t find the words, Lego kept her calm,” Veney recalls. They brought them to doctor’s offices and used them to help Veney’s mother with behaviors related to dementia, like compulsively reading everything aloud.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="5dVV5g">
|
|||
|
|
Veney ultimately got trained in <a href="https://www.lego.com/en-us/themes/serious-play">Lego Serious Play</a>, a program for adults meant to encourage problem-solving and critical thinking, and today she gives Lego presentations for people with dementia, inviting them to build items on their bucket lists, among other activities. “Families are shocked by what their parents can still do,” Veney says.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="zw13ql">
|
|||
|
|
It’s a reminder that older adults, like people of any age, deserve to have their wishes and best interests centered in how they live their lives. “Everyone is aging,” Applewhite says. “Let’s think about how we can support each other and inform each other’s journeys.”
|
|||
|
|
</p></li>
|
|||
|
|
<li><strong>Baby boomers are aging. Their kids aren’t ready.</strong> -
|
|||
|
|
<figure>
|
|||
|
|
<img alt="A family with aging parents are facing a treacherous, cracked landscape with melting clocks under a hot sun." src="https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/wpSo9efNedyGKdXUallIluisOsw=/240x0:1680x1080/1310x983/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/72634311/PeteGamlen_Vox_AgingParents.0.jpg"/>
|
|||
|
|
<figcaption>
|
|||
|
|
Pete Gamlen for Vox
|
|||
|
|
</figcaption>
|
|||
|
|
</figure>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
Millennials are facing an elder care crisis nobody prepared them for.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="jme5Yl">
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="lBFtxF">
|
|||
|
|
Amanda Singleton had just gotten married and bought her first home when her mom was diagnosed with brain cancer. Essentially overnight, she went from being a 30-year-old just starting a new phase of her life to being a 24-hour caregiver. “My mom couldn’t walk, she couldn’t talk, she couldn’t eat,” Singleton said.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="bdUt02">
|
|||
|
|
Singleton spent her days driving hours between her home in St. Petersburg, Florida, clinics for her mom’s chemo and radiation treatments, and her job as an attorney. The stress was constant. “As soon as you think you have a handle on what’s happening, things can change,” she said. “Medications can change, symptoms can pop up, there’s another specialist to see, there’s another thing to do. I felt like this conductor of a runaway train.”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="z5x5hn">
|
|||
|
|
The experience of taking care of a parent while still in her 30s “was very isolating,” she said. Her new husband was supportive, but his main role was “to really try to keep his job” because her caregiving responsibilities put hers in jeopardy. Most of her peers didn’t yet understand what she was going through, and she had no script for handling the logistical obstacles she would face. “I felt so very unprepared for it.”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<div class="c-float-right">
|
|||
|
|
<div id="GM34n3">
|
|||
|
|
<div>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
</div>
|
|||
|
|
</div>
|
|||
|
|
</div>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="e6YUd7">
|
|||
|
|
As the baby boomer generation, born between 1946 and 1964, enters the period of life when, statistically, most people need some form of care, experts say that more millennials — as well as Gen X and Gen Z Americans — will find themselves in a position similar to Singleton’s, supporting an older relative with everything from specialized medical care to handling paperwork to daily tasks such as bathing and eating.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="tWyo7a">
|
|||
|
|
For many, taking on the affairs of a parent or senior relative will add pressure on top of pressure. Americans are <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2021/06/16/us/declining-birthrate-motherhood.html">having kids later in life</a>, meaning they’re more likely to find themselves in a “sandwich generation,” caring for elderly parents and young kids at the same time. Nearly 25 percent of American adults and more than half of people in their 40s <a href="https://www.pewtrusts.org/en/trust/archive/fall-2022/more-than-half-of-americans-in-their-40s-are-sandwiched">are “sandwiched,”</a> with at least one child to support and at least one parent over 65.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
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Tomorrow’s caregivers will also face unprecedented career and financial challenges. Women, who have historically done the bulk of both elder and <a href="https://www.vox.com/child-care">child care</a>, are more likely than ever to <a href="https://www.americanprogress.org/article/breadwinning-mothers-continue-u-s-norm/">have careers and be breadwinners</a>. Many won’t be able to get time off work to provide the complex, ongoing assistance that many boomers will require. And they can’t afford to quit — faced with the Great Recession followed by the pandemic, younger workers, especially <a href="https://www.npr.org/sections/money/2021/04/27/990770599/there-is-growing-segregation-in-millennial-wealth">Black and non-college-educated millennials</a>, don’t have the accumulated wealth necessary to cushion any prolonged period of unemployment or to shoulder a relative’s expenses.
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="FXym2Z">
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“We are in a crisis of care,” said Carlene Davis, co-founder of the nonprofit Sistahs Aging With Grace & Elegance (SAGE). It’s a crisis that American society, with no paid leave, a fragmented care system, and minimal public discussion around aging and disability, is woefully ill-equipped to handle.
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It’s a crisis that many people are finding themselves facing alone, with little support from policymakers, and little public conversation to tell them what to expect.
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As Singleton put it: “I felt like I was on my own.”
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<hr class="p-entry-hr" id="JMJTH1"/>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="f5X5gf">
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The baby boomers are <a href="https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2020/04/28/millennials-overtake-baby-boomers-as-americas-largest-generation/">a huge generation</a>. By 2030, the US will for the first time have <a href="https://www.aarp.org/home-family/friends-family/info-2018/census-baby-boomers-fd.html">more residents over 65</a> than children. Someone turning 65 today has a <a href="https://acl.gov/ltc/basic-needs/how-much-care-will-you-need#:~:text=Someone%20turning%20age%2065%20today,for%20longer%20than%205%20years">70 percent chance of needing long-term care</a> at some point, and 20 percent will need it for more than five years. Boomers are also living longer — <a href="https://www.prb.org/resources/aging-baby-boomers-to-face-caregiving-obesity-inequality-challenges/">life expectancy increased</a> from 68 years in 1950 to about <a href="https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/pressroom/nchs_press_releases/2022/20220831.htm">76 years in 2021</a> — but are still vulnerable to conditions like Alzheimer’s disease, meaning they will need care for more years than previous generations.
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="Fhbq1z">
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Elder care in America is a patchwork. <a href="https://www.medicare.gov/coverage/long-term-care">Medicare doesn’t cover</a> most long-term care, and seniors only become eligible for care through Medicaid when they have <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2021/08/09/opinion/aging-nursing-home-medicare.html">almost no assets left</a>. Paying for professional care out of pocket can be <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2021/08/09/opinion/aging-nursing-home-medicare.html">ruinously expensive</a> — the median annual cost of a full-time <a href="https://www.vox.com/the-highlight/2019/8/21/20694768/home-health-aides-elder-care">home health aide</a> was nearly <a href="https://www.genworth.com/aging-and-you/finances/cost-of-care.html">$60,000 in 2021</a>, while a semi-private room in a nursing home ran $94,000 per year or more. Those costs are out of reach for most boomers, more than 40 percent of whom have <a href="https://www.census.gov/library/stories/2022/08/who-has-retirement-accounts.html#:~:text=Demographics%20of%20Ownership&text=About%20half%20(49.5%25)%20of,23%20owned%20a%20retirement%20account">no retirement savings</a>.
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="x7lchb">
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That leaves family members to provide care themselves, reckon with mounting bills, or both. “Family caregivers are the backbone of the long-term care system,” says <a href="https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/experts/info-2019/amy-goyer.html">Amy Goyer</a>, the national family and caregiving expert at AARP.
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Boomers themselves have driven tectonic shifts in American cultural norms and family structures — a revolution in divorce, along with a trend toward smaller families and away from multigenerational living — that could make that backbone weaker. Compared to their elders, boomers will have fewer people in their lives able to step in and care for them as they age, says <a href="https://sociology.uwo.ca/people/profiles/margolis.html">Rachel Margolis</a>, a demographer and sociologist at the University of Western Ontario. In 2010, there were more than seven potential family caregivers for every person over 80; by 2030, that ratio is expected to fall to 4:1, and by 2050, it will be less than 3:1, <a href="https://www.aarp.org/home-family/caregiving/info-08-2013/the-aging-of-the-baby-boom-and-the-growing-care-gap-AARP-ppi-ltc.html">according to AARP</a>. More care responsibilities will fall on fewer family members, most of them adult children, who may find themselves caring for loved ones alone or with little help, sometimes across two different households.
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</p>
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Michelle, 35, who asked that her last name not be used to protect her family’s privacy, cared for both her mother and father, who are separated and in their mid-70s, at the height of the pandemic, while also working full-time. “It was really, really hard to juggle everything,” she said. “I literally felt like I was lighting myself on fire to keep other people warm.”
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For Michelle, mornings might start with helping her dad out of bed, then helping him shower and eat breakfast. “You can’t take your eye off them,” she said. “You’re constantly having to be there.”
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="s6doC5">
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There was nonstop laundry, meal-planning, and grocery shopping for two additional households. Michelle says that she spent a lot of mental energy “thinking of ways to help them adapt to this new way of life. If they’re struggling with taking their pills, or they’re struggling with eating, what kind of adaptive devices can I get for them?”
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Beyond the physical care, the difficulty of handling mountains of medical bills and logistics can be a shock to younger people who aren’t used to dealing with complex health situations, said Andrea Catlett, 45, who cares for and lives with her mother, who is legally blind, in Colorado. “It’s not just the actual care,” she said. “It’s the paperwork. It’s the calling. It’s the driving.”
|
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="fiUy39">
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Michelle has struggled with “jealousy for my other friends that could lead a normal life, or they could pick up and move where they wanted.” She’s put her career aspirations on hold because of her caregiving responsibilities, and at this point, she can’t imagine having children. “I put that part of my life off because I was so burnt out with already being a caregiver for them that I could not fathom taking on anything else,” she said. (Her family ultimately got full-time care for her father.)
|
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="x3wT7J">
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Other adults are taking on elder care responsibilities while raising their own kids, and managing the overlapping needs is a unique challenge. John Adeniran, 26, and his wife take care of his mom, who has Alzheimer’s disease, alongside their 5-month-old daughter, and John works full time remotely as a data analyst. “The most difficult part right now is that my mom and my baby both need continuous care, and really at the same points in time,” he said.
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Sometimes, he says, the most he can do is “making sure that everybody’s well-fed, everybody’s clean, everybody’s taken care of, and everybody gets a walk in.” Often what suffers is his sleep. “My uninterrupted time is really the dead of night,” he says. “There are a lot of days where I’m pulling all-nighters.”
|
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="MxF6K7">
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During the day, he and his wife switch off with tasks like bathing his mom and helping her eat. He helps her up the stairs at night; his wife braids her hair. They’ve been taking care of his mom together since they got married last year so they “never really had that honeymoon phase,” Adeniran said. Despite the hardship, he said, it has given them perspective. “It has made us less critical of things that are very minute and really insignificant.”
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="m9DUAm">
|
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Taking care of his family is a labor of love for Adeniran. “Looking at my mom’s condition and how she carries herself with such dignity brings me a lot of joy,” he says. At the same time, “there can be deep moments of sorrow.”
|
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="1eT2g5">
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That emotional strain of caring can add up, with <a href="https://www.caregiver.org/resource/caregiver-health/">caregivers facing elevated risks</a> of depression and anxiety, alongside physical ailments like heart disease. “I was willing to neglect myself,” Singleton said. “I knew that my stress level was absolutely beyond, but I was just going to press on.” Then, one day, she had a panic attack while she was driving. “I said, nothing’s gonna get done if this is happening,” she remembers. “That was the point for me that I recognized that I needed more help.”
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="dEkOtC">
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Singleton found a therapist who had experience as a hospice nurse. “She got it. She knew what it was like to be a cancer caregiver,” Singleton said.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="TrKRgb">
|
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Her mother had been working three jobs when she got sick and received disability payments, so they were able to afford caregiving assistance, Singleton says. “But that’s not available to everyone.”
|
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</p>
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<hr class="p-entry-hr" id="izEjgK"/>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="AZ9cFf">
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There’s no magic bullet<strong> </strong>to fix the multifaceted problem of a society that doesn’t care for its elders or those who care for them, experts say. A solution, however, starts with recognizing that increasing numbers of young and middle-aged people will be caring for their elders in the years to come, a reality that still receives little acknowledgment or discussion.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="x7ssxS">
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“We didn’t know we’re gonna be caring for everybody in our 30s and 40s,” Catlett said. “You think that this is going to be the time where I can start doing stuff, but you are not going to be doing stuff. You’re going to be caregiving, and it can be isolating and lonely and a lot of work.”
|
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="hMp5of">
|
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Current caregivers Vox spoke with say they believe the first step is combating the silence around the topic and having conversations with your elders about aging and care before a crisis hits. “They are not fun conversations,” Singleton said. “But if you have someone in your life you love, this is going to be part of the deal.”
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="rjAg3f">
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Caregivers and experts also call for policy reforms, from paid leave to changes in Medicaid eligibility and reimbursements, that would help elders and their families.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="bwx3S3">
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Most caregivers don’t stop working completely, said <a href="https://crr.bc.edu/person/gal-wettstein/">Gal Wettstein</a>, a senior research economist at the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College. Instead, they often have to reduce their hours or take a different, more flexible job, and their earnings typically take a hit. It’s a “similar set of issues that arises with child care, and we know people <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/07/upshot/a-child-helps-your-career-if-youre-a-man.html">pay a penalty</a> for that,” Wettstein said. Additionally, family caregivers spend an average of $7,242 out of pocket every year on expenses from home modifications to medical equipment for their loved ones, <a href="https://www.aarp.org/research/topics/care/info-2016/family-caregivers-cost-survey.html">according to AARP</a>.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="QuNJjL">
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To remedy the financial, mental, and physical health crisis facing boomers and their children, experts say improved paid leave is crucial. Caregivers can take unpaid time off under the Family Medical Leave Act, but without a salary, many can’t afford to. “We need extensive and broad paid family leave,” Davis, the SAGE co-founder, said. “There’s no other way around it.”
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="PgEv5A">
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Expanding Medicaid eligibility to allow people to get coverage before they’ve exhausted all their assets would help the many middle- and lower-middle-income families who currently don’t qualify but can’t afford to pay out of pocket for care.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="UySXo9">
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Changing what Medicaid pays for could help, too. Some states are already <a href="https://www.medicaidplanningassistance.org/medicaid-hcbs-waivers/">experimenting with programs</a> that allow Medicaid to cover more care at home and in the community rather than in nursing homes. A few, like New York, even allow family caregivers to be paid through Medicaid, “but it’s not the norm,” Wettstein said — and payments are often far too low to cover the cost of living.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="HFGX2N">
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Washington state, meanwhile, is experimenting with a new <a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2023/06/16/business/retirement-long-term-care-insurance.html">long-term care insurance program</a>, funded by a payroll tax and designed to cover about a year of care at home. “It’s not a lot,” Davis said, “but every bit helps.”
|
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="l81Tv5">
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In the absence of large-scale policy reforms, individual communities are looking for ways to care for one another as they age. “Folks’ real lives are at stake,” Davis said. “We can’t wait for policy to do everything.”
|
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="JkMg6U">
|
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Davis was inspired to start Sistahs Aging With Grace & Elegance after caring for both of her parents as an only child, unmarried and without children of her own. “If something happened, there’s not a mini-me,” she said. “What that meant is that it would be important to build a more intentional community of support.” Today, the organization does outreach, education, policy, and advocacy work on behalf of Black women in their 40s and beyond. She and her co-founder, Kiara Harris, “wanted to create these safe, culturally specific, and culturally affirming spaces for Black women to come together to think about and plan for their aging journeys,” Davis said.
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="mOIVRs">
|
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Singleton, for her part, found a new career after caring for her mom. After she lost her job as a litigator when her medical leave ran out, “I was like, I don’t want to go back to that,” she said. “I want to be the kind of lawyer that I need right now.” Today, she works as a caregiver advocate, as well as writing and speaking about caregiving for AARP.
|
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="rlb1Zv">
|
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When her mother was alive, Singleton didn’t yet have children. Now she’s a mom and has a new perspective on her time with her mother, who died in 2011. “The way that I’ve cared for and loved my daughter, it is really reminiscent of the way I cared for and loved my mom,” she said. Taking care of her mom was “almost a return of maternal energy back to her.”
|
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</p>
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom" id="pPMecB">
|
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Indeed, “It’s difficult, but it’s also good,” said Adeniran. Despite the sleepless nights, “there’s so much beauty that still comes from this experience.”
|
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</p></li>
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</ul>
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<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-the-hindu-sports">From The Hindu: Sports</h1>
|
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<ul>
|
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<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Bishan Singh Bedi, former India captain and legendary spinner, passes away at 77</strong> - Bedi, a prominent part of India’s famous spin quartet claimed 266 wickets in 67 Test matches</p></li>
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<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Para Asian Games | Indians win three gold on opening day</strong> - Three Indians also finished 1-2-3 in the men’s high jump T63 category but only gold and silver were awarded under Asian Paralympic Committee rules</p></li>
|
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<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Morning Digest | Indian Army to begin phase-out of Cheetah, Chetak from 2027; Israel strikes Gaza, Syria and West Bank, and more</strong> - Here is a select list of stories to start the day</p></li>
|
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|
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<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Verstappen holds off Hamilton to earn hard-fought 50th career F1 victory at the U.S. Grand Prix</strong> - Red Bull’s Max Verstappen charged to his 15th win of the season and the 50th of his Formula One career at the United States Grand Prix</p></li>
|
|||
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<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Cricket World Cup 2023 | Spin test from Afghanistan trio awaits unstable Pakistan middle-order</strong> - That the pace attack at Babar’s disposal has tended to drift whenever Afridi failed to nail early wickets will be a cause for concern for the team; Shahidi’s men will have to improve their catching a lot if they want to make a match out of it</p></li>
|
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</ul>
|
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<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-the-hindu-national-news">From The Hindu: National News</h1>
|
|||
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<ul>
|
|||
|
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<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>In 2018 rerun, Bhupesh Baghel promises farm loan waiver if Congress wins Chhattisgarh Assembly polls</strong> - Congress has made four key announcements — caste census, procurement of 20 quintals of paddy per acre, houses for 17.5 lakh people and now a farm loan waiver.</p></li>
|
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<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>India will remain fastest-growing major economy in FY’24: Finance Ministry report</strong> - India’s macroeconomic outlook for fiscal 2023-24 is bright and is solidly underpinned by strong domestic fundamentals. Alongside private consumption, investment demand is also firming up, the Finance Ministry’s report said</p></li>
|
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<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>West Bengal passport scam: CBI arrests four officials</strong> - The probe agency had earlier arrested two RPO officials and four agents in connection with the fake passport case</p></li>
|
|||
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<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>‘Why is he being a coward?’: Ashok Gehlot on Shekhawat approaching court over Sanjivani ‘scam’</strong> - Rajasthan CM Ashok Gehlot also slammed Union Jal Shakti Minister Gajendra Singh Shekhawat for failing to declare the East Rajasthan Canal Project (ERCP) as a national project</p></li>
|
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<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Even bad Constitution turns out to be good if those running it are good, says CJI; quotes Ambedkar</strong> - The CJI made the observations during his keynote address at the Sixth International Conference on the ‘Unfinished Legacy of Dr. B.R. Ambedkar’ at the Brandeis University, Waltham, Massachusetts, in the U.S. on October 22.</p></li>
|
|||
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</ul>
|
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<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-bbc-europe">From BBC: Europe</h1>
|
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<ul>
|
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<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Billionaires should face a minimum tax rate, report says</strong> - A 2% rate on the world’s wealthy could raise as much as $250bn a year, a report suggests.</p></li>
|
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<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Olympiakos-Panathinaikos: Player struck by firecracker</strong> - Panathinaikos defender Juankar is taken to hospital after being struck by a firework in the club’s abandoned match with Olympiakos.</p></li>
|
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<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Ukraine war: Six postal workers killed in Kharkiv missile strike</strong> - The regional governor Oleh Syniehubov says a further 16 people have been taken to hospital with injuries.</p></li>
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<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Bobi, the world’s oldest dog ever, dies aged 31</strong> - The Guinness World Record holder, from Portugal, lived to be 31 years and 165 days old.</p></li>
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<li data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Ukraine fears drone shortages due to China restrictions</strong> - Volunteers in Ukraine say it is harder to access Chinese-made drone parts after Beijing clamped down.</p></li>
|
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</ul>
|
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<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-ars-technica">From Ars Technica</h1>
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<ul>
|
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|
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Space is starting to look like the better mining operation</strong> - Mining in space might be less environmentally harmful than mining asteroids on Earth. - <a href="https://arstechnica.com/?p=1977659">link</a></p></li>
|
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|
|
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Space Wreck is a hardcore, combat-optional, break-the-game RPG that clicks</strong> - It’s a deep simulation, a retro throwback, and a funny few hours at a time. - <a href="https://arstechnica.com/?p=1977497">link</a></p></li>
|
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<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Carbon capture pipeline nixed after widespread opposition</strong> - Navigator CO₂ says regulatory hurdles are too much to overcome. - <a href="https://arstechnica.com/?p=1977635">link</a></p></li>
|
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|
|
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Feel-good story of the week: 2 ransomware gangs meet their demise</strong> - One is fatally hacked, the other shut down in international police dragnet. - <a href="https://arstechnica.com/?p=1977607">link</a></p></li>
|
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|
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Okta says hackers breached its support system and viewed customer files</strong> - Hackers obtained valid credentials, but Okta doesn’t say how. - <a href="https://arstechnica.com/?p=1977688">link</a></p></li>
|
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|
</ul>
|
|||
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|
<h1 data-aos="fade-right" id="from-jokes-subreddit">From Jokes Subreddit</h1>
|
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<ul>
|
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|
|
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>Seen on X. Credit to <span class="citation" data-cites="614clinton">@614clinton</span></strong> - <!-- SC_OFF --></p>
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<div class="md">
|
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
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|
An elderly man rear-ended a guy driving an expensive sports car.
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</p>
|
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<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
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|
Enraged, the guy hops out and confronts the old man.
|
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</p>
|
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|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
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|
“Look what you did to my car” he yells. “You’re going to give me $10,000 right now or I’m going to beat you to a pulp!”
|
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|
</p>
|
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|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
“Oh my” says the old man, "I don’t have that kind of money.
|
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|
</p>
|
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|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
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|
Let me call my son, he trains dolphins and he will know what to do."
|
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|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
“Dolphins” the other driver huffs, while rolling his eyes.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
The old man pulls out his phone, dials his son and just as his son answered, the irate man snatches the phone away from the old man.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
“So, YOU’RE a dolphin trainer, huh? Well, Your old man here just rear-ended my car and I need 10 grand right now or I’m going to beat you AND your old man to a pulp.”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
“I’ll be there in 10 minutes,” says the voice calmly on the other end.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
Exactly 10 minutes later a Jeep pulls up and a guy hops out and proceeds to pulverize the bully, leaving him in a heap on the side of the road.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
When he finished, he walked over to his father and said….
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
"For the last time dad, I train Seals, Navy Seals…..
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
NOT dolphins!"
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
</div>
|
|||
|
|
<!-- SC_ON -->
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"> submitted by <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Cowboy_Reaper"> /u/Cowboy_Reaper </a> <br/> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/17e33za/seen_on_x_credit_to_614clinton/">[link]</a></span> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/17e33za/seen_on_x_credit_to_614clinton/">[comments]</a></span></p></li>
|
|||
|
|
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>A man was riding on a bus minding his own business…</strong> - <!-- SC_OFF --></p>
|
|||
|
|
<div class="md">
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
… when the gorgeous woman next to him started to breast-feed her baby.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
The baby wouldn’t take it so she said, “Come on sweetie, eat it all up or I’ll have to give it to this nice man next to us.”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
Five minutes later the baby was still not feeding, so she said, “Come on, honey. Take it or I’ll give it to this nice man here.”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
A few minutes later the anxious man blurted out, “Come on kid. Make up your mind! I was supposed to get off four stops ago!”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
</div>
|
|||
|
|
<!-- SC_ON -->
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"> submitted by <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Spiritual_Ear_3456"> /u/Spiritual_Ear_3456 </a> <br/> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/17e3fk4/a_man_was_riding_on_a_bus_minding_his_own_business/">[link]</a></span> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/17e3fk4/a_man_was_riding_on_a_bus_minding_his_own_business/">[comments]</a></span></p></li>
|
|||
|
|
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>A soldier ran up to a nun.</strong> - <!-- SC_OFF --></p>
|
|||
|
|
<div class="md">
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
Out of breath he asked, “Please, may I hide under your skirt. I’ll explain later.” The nun agreed… A moment later two Military Police ran up and asked, “Sister, have you seen a soldier?” The nun replied, “He went that way.” After the MPs ran off, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, “I can’t thank you enough, sister. You see, I don’t want to go to Syria.” The nun said, “I understand completely.” The soldier added, “I hope I’m not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!” The nun replied, “If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen a great pair of balls…. I don’t want to go to Syria either.”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
</div>
|
|||
|
|
<!-- SC_ON -->
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"> submitted by <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/notyourregularninja"> /u/notyourregularninja </a> <br/> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/17egbrb/a_soldier_ran_up_to_a_nun/">[link]</a></span> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/17egbrb/a_soldier_ran_up_to_a_nun/">[comments]</a></span></p></li>
|
|||
|
|
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>I met a beautiful, strong willed woman.</strong> - <!-- SC_OFF --></p>
|
|||
|
|
<div class="md">
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
When I introduced myself as Frank she said “I wouldn’t have pegged you as a Frank.”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
So I asked “What if my name was Joe?”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
</div>
|
|||
|
|
<!-- SC_ON -->
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"> submitted by <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Cowboy_Reaper"> /u/Cowboy_Reaper </a> <br/> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/17e5sbo/i_met_a_beautiful_strong_willed_woman/">[link]</a></span> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/17e5sbo/i_met_a_beautiful_strong_willed_woman/">[comments]</a></span></p></li>
|
|||
|
|
<li><p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"><strong>My friend had recently lost it all and started giving blows behind Wendy’s.</strong> - <!-- SC_OFF --></p>
|
|||
|
|
<div class="md">
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
He come to me so excited after a couple days and said he’d made $300.50.
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
Puzzled, I asked him “who gave you .50?”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom">
|
|||
|
|
He replied, “They all did!”
|
|||
|
|
</p>
|
|||
|
|
</div>
|
|||
|
|
<!-- SC_ON -->
|
|||
|
|
<p data-aos="fade-left" data-aos-anchor-placement="bottom-bottom"> submitted by <a href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Recidive"> /u/Recidive </a> <br/> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/17e4qb8/my_friend_had_recently_lost_it_all_and_started/">[link]</a></span> <span><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/17e4qb8/my_friend_had_recently_lost_it_all_and_started/">[comments]</a></span></p></li>
|
|||
|
|
</ul>
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
|
|||
|
|
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